We associate the term with a swimming pool in the garden, holidays abroad, lavish presents and outsize birthday parties –

可以把這個詞和花園裡的游泳池、出國渡假、奢華的禮物、和大型的生日派對聯想在一起－

and maybe someone deferential picking up the clothes from the bedroom floor during school hours.

也或許有傭人在他上課時在家幫他整理房間。

Our ideas are plainly focused on money.

我們的想法都只聚焦於金錢。

The idea has just enough truth in it to convince the cynical parts of us,

這個想法卻足以說服憤世嫉俗的我們。

but the number of breakdowns and mental illnesses gnawing at the upper middle classes should be enough to force us to concede that

但是上層中產階級所遭受的精神崩潰和精神疾病的數量，

money cannot on its own be the reliable guarantor of 'privilege' that it would,

應該足以使我們承認只有錢是稱不上富有的。

in a way, be simpler to imagine it was.

某方面來說，用想像的更為容易。

True privilege is an emotional phenomenon.

真正的富有是一種情緒方面的現象。

It involves receiving the nectar of love –

這和接收到花蜜般的愛有關，

which can be stubbornly missing in the best equipped mansions

就算在設備最齊全的大宅中也可能缺少。

and oddly abundant in the bare rooms of modest bungalows.

然而在簡樸、空蕩的平房中卻處處充足，

It is (a) true privilege when a parent is on hand to enter imaginatively into a child's world;

真正的富有是當父母能夠進入孩子想像力豐富的世界，

when they have the wherewithal to put their own needs aside for a time

或是當父母有足夠的資金能為了孩子而把自己的所需放一邊，

in order to focus wholeheartedly on the confusions and fears of their offspring;

以便全心全意地專注於他們孩子的困惑與恐懼，

and when they are attuned not just to what a child actually manages to say but to what they might be aspiring yet struggling to explain.

還有當他們不僅能理解孩子實際上想說什麼，更是能理解孩子可能想說什麼卻又難以表達的話。

It is privileged when a parent lends us a feeling that they are loyal to us simply on the basis that we exist

真正的富有是當父母能讓孩子感受到他們無條件都支持著，

rather than because of anything extraordinary we have managed to achieve,

而不是因為他們取得了什麼非凡的成就。

when they can imbue us with a sense that they will be on our side even if the world has turned against us,

真正的富有是父母讓我們知道，就算世界與我們為敵，他們仍會支持我們，

and they can teach us that all humans deserve compassion and understanding despite their errors and compulsions.

並教導我們所有人都值得被同情與理解，就算他們會犯錯也會衝動行事。

It is privileged when parents can shield us from the worst of their anxiety and rage and the full conflicts of their adult lives;

真正的富有是父母能保護我們遠離成人世界的焦慮、憤怒和衝突。

when they can respect that it is many years before a child is old enough to face the full complexity of existence–

是當他們理解、尊重到孩子需要好幾年才足以成熟面對世界的複雜；

and when they are sufficiently mature to let us grow up slowly.

是當他們夠成熟，去讓孩子慢慢成長。

It is privileged when parents don't set themselves up as perfect or,

真正的富有是父母不視自己為完美的，

by being remote and unavailable, encourage us to idealize or demonize them.

或者透過生疏感與距離感來鼓勵我們將他們理想化或妖魔化。

It is privileged when they can be ordinary and a little boring can invite us to develop into a man or a woman beside them –

真正的富有，是他們可以很平凡普通；可以讓我們在他們身邊長大成人；

and can know how to let themselves be superseded.

知道如何放手讓別人來取代他們的位置。

It is privileged when parents can bear our rebellions and don't force us to be preternaturally obedient or good,

真正的富有是父母能夠容忍我們的叛逆行為，而不是強迫我們早熟的順從或表現優秀。

when they don't crumple if we try out what it feels like to call them old idiots,

他們不會因為我們稱呼他們為老笨蛋而爆怒；

and when they themselves reliably seek to explain, rather than impose their ideas.

他們會試著解釋，而不是強迫加諸他們的想法。

It is privileged when they can accept that we will eventually need to leave them and do not mistake our independence for betrayal.

真正的富有是父母能接受我們總有一天會離開他們，而不是把我們的獨立誤會成背叛。

All of these moves belong to privilege sincerely understood,

以上這些都是父母有真正了解「富有」的舉動，

and they are, at present, about as rare as huge wealth, but at points more crucial.

而且他們也是當今和巨大財富一樣稀有，但在某些方面更為重要。

It is those who have enjoyed years of emotional privilege that deserve to be counted among the true one per cent.

只有這些享受過情緒富有的人，才值得被視為世界上的那些百分之一。

It can be natural when we meet with any sort of privilege that has been deeply and unfairly distributed,

這是自然現象，當我們面臨任何被不公平分配的富有，

to seek to level the playing field.

我們會想要平均分配它。

But it can't be a redistribution of privilege that is required here, rather a universal increase –

但我們需要的不是讓大家一樣富有，而是讓大家都能富有，

and the assurance of a decent minimum.

並有最低程度的保證。

A truly fair society would be one in which a yearly rise in the degree of emotional privilege in circulation

一個真正公平的社會，情緒富有指數每年會規律的上升，

would become a national priority –

而且將成為國家優先考慮的事情 –

and where an abundance of love, concern, and connection was adequately studied, encouraged, and prized as the true 'wealth' it is.

在這樣的國家，豐富的愛、關心，和人際連結被充分研究、鼓勵，並被視為真正的財富。

The Joys and Sorrows of Parenting promises us a gentle way of staying calm around one of the most arduous yet deeply fullfilling jobs in the world.

養育孩子的喜怒哀樂，給我們提供了一種溫和的方式，讓我們在這個世界上最艱鉅但又讓人深感滿足的工作上保持冷靜。

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