Name: 當愛情擦身而過時！ (When People Turn Down Love)
Uploaded: 2026-02-04T17:07:12.000Z
Duration: 5 min 1 s

情態副詞

The arrival of love should ostensibly always be a matter of celebration.

愛情的到來，表面上總是值得慶祝的。

Let's imagine that finally, after years of waiting, along comes what might be called a nice person.

讓我們想像一下，終於，經過多年的等待，出現了一個可以稱得上是好對象的人。

They're mature, they apologise for their flaws.

他們成熟，會為自己的缺點道歉。

They listen, they ask questions, they take an interest, they're generous.

他們會傾聽、提問、感興趣、慷慨大方。

So a new couple go on a number of holidays.

於是，一對新情侶開始了一連串的假期。

Maybe to Pisa first, then a weekend in Wales, then a trip to Nottingham.

或許先去比薩，然後在威爾斯度過一個週末，接著去諾丁漢旅行。

From the training course, to an aunt, to a brother in law.

從訓練課程的同事，到阿姨，再到姐夫。

There's laughs, some innovative sex, deep conversations and a sense at last of having come home.

有歡笑、有創新的性愛、深入的對話，最後終於有種回家的感覺。

But in the background of one of the two parties, the lover who is fearful of love, there will also be a rising discomfort.

但在這兩個人其中之一的背景裡，那個害怕愛情的戀人，也會感受到一種逐漸升高的不安。

This is managed through strategic lowerings of the temperature.

這是透過策略性地降低溫度來管理的。

Let's say there's an argument on the steps of the museum, which ruins one afternoon.

假設在博物館的階梯上發生爭吵，這會毀掉一個下午。

Then there's a mysterious bout of so called illness which puts pay to a few dinners.

然後出現一種神祕的所謂疾病，讓幾頓晚餐泡湯。

Then there's an urgent need to see a friend, which shatters the intimacy of the third weekend.

接著出現急著要去看朋友的需求，這會打碎第三個週末的親密時光。

Then there's a pressing need to attend a course or fix a shelf.

然後出現急著要上課或修理架子的需求。

Subtle attempts to ensure that love cannot deepen, that dependence is stymied.

試圖巧妙地確保愛無法深化，阻礙依賴。

That a home is carefully dismantled at the same time as it seems to be being put up.

在看似建立家庭的同時，小心翼翼地拆毀了家。

A person is taken prisoner early in their life.

一個人在生命早期就被俘虜了。

In the prison camp there's barely any food.

The young prisoner grows up having to adjust to an extreme calorie controlled diet.

這位年輕的戰俘長大後，必須適應極端的熱量控制飲食。

There's little nourishment and the stomach shrinks to accommodate what's on offer.

營養不良，胃也是以縮小以適應提供的食物。

There are chocolate tarts, creamy cheeses, lush fruits, dried meats.

有巧克力塔、濃鬱的起司、鮮美的水果、風乾的肉類。

But the banquet is wholly indigestible to the prisoners.

但對囚犯來說，這場盛宴是消化不良的。

Something comparable will have happened to the lover who cannot love.

無法去愛的情人也會發生類似的事。

They too will have been neglected by a mother who was mentally unwell, or a father who was filled with rage and then later ran off or married a friend.

他們也可能被一位精神狀況不佳的母親忽視，或是被一位充滿憤怒然後離家出走或娶了朋友的父親傷害。

The lover's emotional stomach has shrunk.

Gradually, a conclusion forms in the emotionally undernourished partner's mind.

漸漸地，情感上營養不良的伴侶心中形成了一個結論。

Their lover is not, despite appearances, very nice at all.

他們的伴侶實際上一點都不好，儘管外表看起來是這樣。

They don't have their best interests at heart.

他們根本不在乎你的最佳利益。

They aren't actually interested in listening to them.

他們其實對聽你說話一點興趣都沒有。

These accusations bear the imprint of their opposites.

這些指控都帶著他們相反的印記。

They can be read as desperate, confused pleas on the part of the unwell lover's unconscious mind.

這些指控可以被解讀為生病伴侶的潛意識中，絕望又困惑的懇求。

What on earth is one meant to do with kindness?

What in heaven's name is one meant to do with trust?

These are desirable but entirely alien properties and they kick off an acute unconscious fear of loss.

這些是令人嚮往卻完全陌生的特質，它們引發了對失去的急切潛意識恐懼。

What would happen if the lover were to be snatched away?

如果愛人被奪走，會發生什麼事？

Better then to instigate loss oneself than see it unfold hideously outside of one's volition.

與其看著它在自己無法控制的情況下醜陋地發生，不如自己先引發失去。

我必須先開除別人，而不是被開除。

To prevent dependence growing, the lover who is terrified of love sets about priming the explosives.

為了阻止依賴滋長，害怕愛情的伴侶開始引爆炸藥。

An affair, a grave rupture of trust, a disappearance, a cancelled holiday, silence online.

外遇、嚴重的信任破裂、消失、取消假期、網路上的沉默。

Were they to be questioned by the incensed, terrified partner?

如果被憤怒又害怕的伴侶質問，他們會怎麼辦？

In a classic so called avoidant discard, the lover can blow up a relationship in a matter of days, sometimes hours.

在經典的「迴避式拋棄」中，戀人可以在幾天內，有時甚至幾小時內就炸毀一段關係。

Social media profiles are changed instantly.

社群媒體上的個人資料會立刻被更改。

The lover who's afraid of love may be back on the dating scene in minutes.

害怕愛情的戀人可能幾分鐘內就重回約會市場。

The now ex is erased from history, airbrushed out like a Soviet era leader.

現在的前任被從歷史中抹去，就像蘇聯時代的領導人一樣被修圖抹掉。

It takes a very steady mind indeed not to fracture at this point.

要保持一顆非常穩定的心，才不會在這個時候崩潰。

When one's on the receiving end of this, one's being told to go away on the grounds of something one's not done by someone one adores, who's denying that they're up to anything.

當你成為這種對待的對象時，你被告知要離開，理由是你沒有做過任何事，而對方是你深愛的人，卻否認他們在做任何事。

We've been discarded because love is terrifying to those who were not loved as children.

我們被拋棄，是因為對那些童年沒有得到愛的人來說，愛是令人恐懼的。

We have been thrown away not because we were horrible, but because we were not horrible enough.

我們被丟棄，不是因為我們很糟糕，而是因為我們不夠糟糕。

We've been punished for caring for people who do not in their core in any way feel worthy of care.

我們因為關心那些內心深處不認為自己值得被關心的人，而受到了懲罰。

字幕列表影片播放

當愛情擦身而過時！ (When People Turn Down Love)

subtle

intimacy

matter

unconscious