Name: 你真的想這樣過一輩子嗎？小心這 3 種人生腳本 (3 ways smart people stay stuck in failing patterns | Anne-Laure Le Cunff)
Uploaded: 2025-12-23T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 7 min 4 s

A cognitive script is an internalized behavioral pattern that tells us how we're supposed or at least how we think we're supposed to act in certain situations.

認知腳本是一種內化的行為模式，它告訴我們在特定情境下「應該」如何行動，或至少我們以為自己應該怎麼做。

程度副詞

They can be very helpful for routine tasks and decisions in everyday life.

在日常生活中，對於例行性的任務和決策，它們其實非常有幫助。

基礎被動語態

Cognitive scripts were first discovered in a seminal 1979 study,

認知腳本最早是在 1979 年一項具指標性的研究中被發現的，

where researchers found that people are following very similar scripts in similar situations,

研究人員發現，人們在相似情境中，往往會遵循非常類似的腳本，

such as going to the doctor or going to the restaurant.

And since then, they have found those cognitive scripts in all areas of your life.

從那之後，研究者發現，認知腳本存在於你生活的各個層面。

For routine, everyday decisions, cognitive scripts are actually very practical and useful.

對於日常、例行的決策來說，認知腳本其實非常實用。

For example, you know that when you're going to go to the doctor, you're supposed to wait in the waiting room, and

例如，你知道去看醫生時，應該先在候診室等待，

then someone is going to call your name, and

then you're going to go into doctor's office, and

this is where you're going to start telling them about whatever the issue is, right?

接著開始向醫生說明你的問題，對吧？

And you know in which order you're supposed to do all of those different actions.

你也清楚這一連串行動該以什麼順序進行。

it's a pretty good thing that you don't have to overthink it every time you go to the doctor.

而且你不用每次去看醫生都重新想一遍，這其實是件好事。

The problem with cognitive scripts is when we use them to make more important decisions in our lives, in our careers, in our relationships,

認知腳本真正的問題在於，當我們用它來做人生中更重要的決定時——在事業上、在關係中，

instead of asking ourselves, "Is that really what I want to do? Is that my decision?"

我們沒有問自己：「這真的是我想做的嗎？這是我的選擇嗎？」

we let our choices being driven by those stories that we have internalized,

而是讓我們的選擇被那些內化的故事所驅動，

by those scripts that tell us how we're supposed to behave in a certain situation.

被那些告訴我們在某種情境下「應該如何表現」的腳本所左右。

[The three cognitive scripts that rule our lives]

【支配我們人生的三種認知腳本】

That's the script where we feel like we've always behaved in a certain way,

這種腳本讓我們覺得自己一直以來都是這樣行事的，

so we're going to keep on behaving in the same way.

所以未來也應該繼續照同樣的方式行動。

We feel like the narrative needs to make sense.

我們覺得人生的敘事必須前後一致、合乎邏輯。

This is the script that makes people choose careers that are aligned with whatever they studied at university.

這種腳本讓人選擇與自己大學所學相符的職業。

That is the script that makes people keep on dating the same kind of people they've been dating before.

它也讓人不斷和同一類型的人約會。

And this is, in general, the script that makes us repeat the exact same behaviors and patterns that we've had in the past in relationships in particular.

整體來說，這種腳本讓我們在關係中，反覆重複過去一模一樣的行為與模式。

What's very interesting is that we want the SQL to connect to whatever the previous experience was.

有趣的是，我們總希望 SQL 腳本能和過去的經驗連接起來。

So that might mean dating the exact same type of person or choosing the next person in response to whoever we were dating before.

這可能意味著和完全相同類型的人交往，或是選擇一個「回應」上一段關係的對象。

And they might look like the complete opposite, but

他們表面上看起來也許完全相反，

the truth is, we still pick this person based on a sense of continuity with whatever the previous experience was before.

但事實上，我們仍然是基於與過去經驗的連續性來選擇這個人。

With the SQL script, it's quite obvious why it limits the possibilities that we might explore in life,

使用 SQL 腳本時，很明顯它會限制我們在生活中探索的可能性，

because we feel like whatever decision we're making next needs to make sense in relation to the decisions we made in the past.

因為我們覺得下一個決定必須和過去的決定「說得通」。

We ignore a lot of more left field, unexpected type of decisions that might be opportunities for growth and exploration and self discovery.

我們因此忽略了許多更跳脫、出乎意料的選擇，而那些選擇本可能帶來成長、探索與自我發現。

Another cognitive script that rules our life is the crowd pleaser script.

另一個支配我們人生的認知腳本是「討好他人」腳本。

This is the script where we make decisions based on whatever is going to please people around us the most.

在這種腳本下，我們的決策是基於什麼最能取悅身邊的人。

Quite often, those are the people or parents.

很多時候，這些人就是我們的父母。

We might make decisions based on whatever is going to make them feel like you're safe and successful.

我們做決定，是為了讓他們覺得你安全、成功。

But the audience for the crowd pleaser script can also be your friends, can be your partner, can be your colleagues.

但「討好他人」腳本的觀眾也可能是朋友、伴侶，或同事。

And what you don't realize when you follow the crowd pleaser script is that you're not making decisions based on what you want and what would make you happy, but

當你遵循這個腳本時，往往沒有意識到，你做的決定並不是基於你真正想要什麼、什麼能讓你快樂，

based on what will make others around you happy.

而是基於什麼能讓身邊的人快樂。

And this one is very insidious because it's actually celebrated in our society.

這個腳本非常隱蔽，因為它在我們的社會中其實是被讚揚的。

It's the script that says that whatever you do, it needs to be big, it needs to be very ambitious, it needs to be impactful.

它告訴你，不論你做什麼，都必須很宏大、很有野心、很有影響力。

任何不夠大的事情，都等同於失敗。

The epic script is an extreme version of the idea of following your dreams.

史詩型腳本是「追隨夢想」這個想法的極端版本。

And because of that, it has created a form of stigma around having a small, simple life.

也因此，它對過著小而簡單的生活產生了一種污名。

A life that is focused on just being happy in the moment, being present, being connected and exploring your curiosity.

那種專注於活在當下、感受幸福、保持連結、探索好奇心的生活。

Because if you don't have those external signs of success, if you're not following your grand passion, then are you really living a meaningful life?

因為如果你沒有外在的成功指標，沒有追逐宏大的熱情，那你真的算是過著有意義的人生嗎？

This is the anxiety inducing question that is created by the epic script.

這正是史詩型腳本所製造的、令人焦慮的問題。

When you think about it, this is a very myopic definition of success where we try to put all of our eggs in the basket.

仔細想想，這是一種非常狹隘的成功定義，我們把所有雞蛋都放在同一個籃子裡。

We choose this one thing and we say, if I succeed to this, then I'm successful in life.

我們選定一件事，並告訴自己：只要這件事成功，我的人生就是成功的。

The problem with this is that if we fail at this particular project, this particular goal, we feel like we have failed at life entirely.

問題在於，如果這個計畫、這個目標失敗了，我們就會覺得自己整個人生都失敗了。

And the other problem with putting all of our eggs in the same basket is that then, sometimes the basket just becomes too heavy and we drop it all together.

而把所有雞蛋放在同一個籃子的另一個問題是，有時籃子會變得太重，最後整個掉下去。

Our modern hyper connected online world has made the epic script unfortunately very, very popular with people.

我們現代高度連結的線上世界，不幸地讓史詩型腳本變得非常流行。

We have become overly obsessed with finding our purpose.

我們對「找到人生使命」變得過度著迷。

Mentions in books of the phrase find your purpose have surged 700% in the past two decades only.

在過去短短二十年中，書籍裡提到「找到你的使命」這個說法增加了 700%。

We see all of those stories of success of people who have found their passion and who are very happy as a result of this.

我們看到許多成功故事，那些人找到了熱情，並因此感到非常快樂。

We see the entrepreneur that followed their passion and was very successful.

我們看到追隨熱情、獲得巨大成功的創業者。

But we don't see all of the thousands of other ones that have tried the exact same thing and failed.

但我們看不到另外成千上萬個嘗試同樣事情卻失敗的人。

it's very unfortunate how nowadays we are basing all of our decisions and even our self worth based on that incomplete information.

而令人遺憾的是，如今我們竟然基於這種不完整的資訊來做人生決策，甚至評價自我價值。

Once you have identified the cognitive scripts that rule your life, you can actually break free from them.

一旦你辨識出支配你人生的認知腳本，你其實是可以擺脫它們的。

And it really starts by seeing them as stories we tell ourselves rather than truth that we need to follow blindly.

第一步，是把它們看成我們對自己說的故事，而不是必須盲目遵循的真理。

A really good way to do this is to stop for a second every time you hear yourself saying I should do this.

一個很好的方法是，每當你聽到自己說「我應該……」時，先停一下。

This word should is actually a really good signal that there might be a cognitive script at play somewhere here.

「應該」這個詞，其實是一個很好的訊號，提醒你可能有某個認知腳本正在運作。

And once you've identified the places in your life and the situations in your life where you're using that word, should,

當你找出生活中、各種情境裡你使用「應該」這個詞的地方後，

you can then decide to replace that word with another word, might.

你可以選擇用另一個詞來取代它——「也許」。

If you want to start writing your own scripts in life, there are three questions that you can ask yourself while designing your next experiment.

如果你想開始為自己的人生寫下新的腳本，在設計下一次實驗時，可以問自己三個問題。

The first one is "Am I following my past or discovering my path?"

第一個是：「我是在追隨過去，還是在探索自己的道路？」

The second one is "Am I following the crowd?" or "Am I discovering my tribe?"

第二個是：「我是在追隨人群，還是在尋找屬於我的族群？」

And then finally, "Am I following my passion?" or "Am I discovering my curiosity?"

最後一個是：「我是在追隨熱情，還是在探索好奇心？」

Those three questions together allow you to embrace the liminal space we're all in, to make friends with uncertainty, to start experimenting more, and

這三個問題結合在一起，能幫助你擁抱我們所處的過渡狀態，與不確定性成為朋友，開始更多嘗試，

very importantly, to deal with those three powerful cognitive scripts that underlie a lot of our decisions on an unconscious level.

更重要的是，去面對並處理那三種在無意識層面影響我們決策的強大認知腳本。

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