Name: 我用親身的慘痛教訓提醒你：別把同事當朋友 (Your Coworkers Are Not Your Friends - I Learned The Hard Way!)
Uploaded: 2023-11-30T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 8 min 5 s

to 不定詞

So if you're okay with it, I think I'm going to start this one off with a little story.

所以如果你同意的話，我想我將以一個小故事開始這個故事。

When I graduated from college and I joined the workforce, my very first job was as an HR professional, HR generalist, in a manufacturing and global engineering company.

當我大學畢業並加入職場時，我的第一份工作是在一家製造和全球工程公司擔任人力資源專業人員、人力資源通才。

過去簡單式

And I was sent around the country in to different locations and was fairly nomadic for about two years or so.

我被派往全國各地的不同地點，漂泊了大約兩年左右的時間。

During one of my rotations, I ended up working in a pretty small town.

在其中一個輪調期間，我最終工作在一個相當小的城鎮。

Since I wasn't from there, I didn't know anybody.

因為我不是那裡的人，我不認識任何人。

And there was a manufacturing facility and then there was a sister facility that was about a mile down the road that was even smaller.

那裡有一個製造工廠，還有一個在路上約一英里遠的姐妹工廠，規模更小。

And the focus of my job as an HR professional was to go between these two facilities to ensure that we had the proper staffing.

作為一名人力資源專業人員，我的工作重點是在這兩個工廠之間進行，以確保我們有適當的人員配置。

I did a lot of recruiting and I was also in charge of employee relations for this small plant.

我進行了大量的招聘，同時也負責這家小工廠的員工關係。

So I would go down there frequently and I would walk the floor and I would kind of chat with people and see how things were going.

所以我經常去那裡，走在廠房裡，和人們聊天，了解情況如何。

And there was a guy in particular who worked in this plant was about my age; he was a line worker.

特別是在這家工廠工作的一個人，和我差不多大，他是一名生產線工人。

I ended up finding myself talking to him more and more because we had a lot in common.

我發現自己越來越多地與他交談，因為我們有很多共同之處。

And so one day, he asked me, "How are you liking the town?"

所以有一天，他問我：「你喜歡這個城鎮嗎？」

And I told him, "You know, it's fine. I don't really know anybody here. So it's kind of boring, but I'm making the best of it."

我告訴他：「你知道，還好。我不認識這裡的任何人。所以有點無聊，但我正在充分利用。」

And he said, "I tell you what, if you want to come out with my friends and we're gonna be going out to a bar this weekend and you, you're welcome to tag along."

他說：「告訴你，如果你想和我的朋友出去，我們週末會去酒吧，你可以一起來。」

And since we had been getting along pretty well and developing a pretty good rapport, I actually started to consider him somewhat of a friend.

由於我們相處得很好，建立了相當好的融洽關係，我實際上開始把他視為一個朋友。

And I said, "Yeah, sure, that sounds great."

我說：「好啊，當然，聽起來很不錯。」

So that Friday came along, I went out and met him at a local bar; we had a few beers, everything was great.

於是星期五來臨，我去當地的酒吧見了他；我們喝了幾杯，一切都很好。

We were just chit-chatting, and inevitably, the conversation turned to work at some point during the night, as it might with a coworker, since that's what we have in common.

我們一直在閒聊，不可避免地，對話在晚上某個時候轉向了工作，就像和同事一起的時候可能發生的那樣。

And he asked me what seemed to be a pretty innocent question.

他問了我一個看似相當無害的問題。

He said, "So what do you think of the new boss?"

他說：「那你覺得新老闆怎麼樣？」

In the context, there was a new supervisor at that location who was very inexperienced and had just gotten promoted into his first leadership job.

當下的情境是，那個地方有一位新的主管，他非常沒經驗，剛剛升職到他的第一個領導職位。

So part of my job was helping him develop as a leader and in particular with the recruiting and dealing with employee relations issues.

我的工作的一部分是幫助他成為一名領導者，特別是在招聘和處理員工關係問題方面。

So I made a comment that I thought was relatively innocent.

於是我做了一個我認為相對無害的評論。

I said, "Yeah, Joe's doing well. He's relatively new to his role. So he's still growing and I'm helping him with some things."

我說：「是的，喬做得很好。他對他的角色還相對陌生，所以他還在成長，我正在幫助他處理一些事情。」

And he just thought an agreement and that was the extent of that conversation, and then we just finished off the rest of our night.

他只是表示同意，這就是那次對話的全部，然後我們結束了我們的夜晚。

Sure enough, next week, I get a call into my boss's office, and she says to me, "Hey, have you been having conversations with the employees about the leadership team down there?"

果然，下週，我被叫進老闆辦公室，她對我說：「嘿，你最近是否和下面的領導團隊的員工有過對話？」

She said, "I got a phone call from a very upset Joe who said that you were out spreading rumors about him to the employees that he wasn't a good leader."

她說：「喬很生氣打來，他說你在向員工散布謠言，說他不是個好上司。」

I immediately knew what she was talking about when she said that.

當她說這句話時，我立刻知道她在說什麼。

And I said, "Oh, it's because of this guy, isn't it?"

我說：「哦，是因為這個傢伙，對吧？」

She said, "Yeah, that's the person who first thing Monday morning went right into his office and said, 'Brian doesn't have any faith in you as a leader.'"

她說：「是的，他星期一一大早走進他辦公室對他說：『布賴恩不相信你是一個好上司。』」

And I'm sitting there just like dumbfounded going, "How dare this guy break my trust like this over a very innocent comment."

我坐在那裡，感到十分震驚，心想：「這家伙居然因為一個很無害的評論而破壞我的信任。」

So of course, I told my boss what happened and that I didn't think it was that big of a deal.

當然，我告訴我的老闆發生了什麼，並且我覺得這沒那麼嚴重。

And she said, "Well, you're gonna have to clean up this mess and you're gonna have to go and make amends with Joe because if you don't, you're not gonna have a very effective relationship with him as an HR person."

她說：「好吧，你必須解決這個問題，你必須去和喬和解，因為如果你不這樣做，作為一名人力資源專業人員，你和他的關係將不會很有效。」

So I had to go down and have a sit down with Joe and explain to him exactly what happened, profusely apologized and explained that it would never happen again.

所以我不得不去找喬坐下來聊聊，向他解釋發生了什麼事，表示深深的歉意，並解釋這種情況不會再發生。

And on my weekly rounds at that plant, I made sure that I never engaged with him in that regard again.

之後在那家工廠的每周巡視中，我確保再也不以那種方式與他接觸。

So the moral of this story is I learned the hard way that you have to be very careful with people that you choose to be friendly with at work.

所以這個故事的寓意是，我以一種艱難的方式學到，你必須非常小心選擇在工作中交朋友的人。

And to be perfectly honest with you, that's not the only story that I have in my career where I've had something like that happen.

老實說，這並不是我職業生涯中唯一發生這種事情的故事。

And that's where I learned very quickly that you've got to be very careful who you buddy-buddy up with.

這是我非常迅速學到的一點，你必須非常小心選擇與之交好的人。

So let's put this into a little bit of context as to why you should be very careful.

所以讓我們將這放入一點上下文中，解釋為什麼你應該非常小心。

And obviously, in this case, I potentially overshared, even though I didn't realize I was doing it at the time; it seemed to me to be a very innocent comment.

顯然，在這種情況下，我可能分享得過多，即使我當時並沒有意識到，對我來說那似乎是一個非常無辜的評論。

And for whatever reason, this person had an ulterior motive and decided to go stir the pot a little bit.

出於某種原因，這個人有其他動機，決定有點煽風點火。

So when you overshare, even if it seems innocent, it always seems to find a way of getting back to you through your boss.

所以當你分享過多，即使它看起來是無害的，它總是會以某種方式通過你的老闆回到你身上。

And the problem with that is, if your boss starts to hear things through the grapevine that you're not to be trusted, then it becomes a major credibility issue with you.

問題就在於，如果你的老闆開始從小道消息中聽到一些不值得信任的事情，這就成為你的一個重大可信度問題。

And your long-term career potential could be stunted as a result of that because, trust me, you don't want to have a reputation of being untrustworthy.

你的長期職業潛力可能會因此受到阻礙，因為相信我，你不想擁有不值得信任的聲譽。

And I don't think that there's an office on this planet that doesn't have an office gossip and everybody knows who they are.

我認為地球上沒有一個辦公室不會有八卦，每個人都知道聊八卦的那些人是誰。

And I'm sure if you're thinking about this, it only takes you a second to come up with a list of who the gossips are in your organization.

而且我敢打賭，如果你正在思考這個問題，你只需要一秒鐘就能列出你公司中的八卦者名單。

And you can generally find them congregating together in either the lunch room or the proverbial water cooler.

你通常可以在午餐室或傳說中的飲水機附近找到他們。

And the water cooler talk tends to be with people who like to stir up drama and gossip about other people.

而飲水機的談話通常是和喜歡煽風點火和八卦其他人的人在一起。

The problem with it is that there's a very easy tendency to cross the line into oversharing or potentially saying something that you're going to regret later.

問題是，這樣做很容易越界，變成過度分享，或者可能說出一些讓你日後後悔的話。

But the even bigger concern is is that you're going to be branded as an office gossip if you hang out with those people.

但更令人擔憂的是，如果你和這些人混在一起，你就會被打上「辦公室八卦」的烙印。

Because here's the thing: you are who you hang out with.

因為這樣的事實是：物以類聚。

And so if you're looking to move upward in your career, don't hang out with the gossips and the people who aren't going places.

所以如果你想在事業上有所發展，不要和那些喜歡八卦、沒有前途的人往來。

Because like it or not, people and by people, I mean, bosses in the leadership teams, know who hangs out in which clicks and just try moving up in the organization when you're branded that way.

因為不管你喜不喜歡，人們，我指的是老闆和領導團隊，知道誰和誰結伴，當你以這種方式被標記時，想在公司中升職就很難了。

So if you need to go into the water cooler, get your water, say your hellos and then leave.

所以如果你需要到飲水機，裝好你的水，打聲招呼，然後離開。

But don't get sucked into the drama because that's where the drama usually starts in office settings.

但不要被捲入戲劇，因為辦公室環境中戲劇通常就是從這裡開始的。

And in my years as an HR professional, I can't tell you how many times I had to defuse an employee relations situation, and there was always usually one of three usual suspects that was the office gossip.

作為一名人力資源專業人員，我多年來經常不得不化解一些勞資關係的狀況，而總是有三個典型的嫌疑犯之一是辦公室的八卦。

Not only that, but the office gossips tend to be the people who are negative.

不僅如此，而且八卦通常是那些負面的人。

And if you're working with somebody in your department who has a negative mindset, they're going to inevitably bring you down if you spend too much time with them.

如果你在部門裡和一個擁有消極心態的人一起工作，如果你花太多時間和他們在一起，他們最終會把你拖下水。

And you know, these types, they've always got something to complain about.

你知道，這些類型的人總是有些抱怨。

The company is always doing something shady.

公司總是在做一些見不得人的事。

There's never anything good going on in the organization.

You're getting underpaid, we're getting screwed.

We're working too many hours, all of these things.

我們的工作時間太長了，這些抱怨。

And usually the genesis of it is one or two negative people and one or two negative people tends to be a cancer in a group,

通常這一切的根源是一兩個負面的人，一兩個負面的人在群體中就像是一種癌症，

especially if you're somebody that is really focused on upward mobility that can be very distracting.

尤其是如果你是一個真正注重晉升的人，這可能會讓你分心。

So you want to be careful to avoid the negative people in your workspace because they could tend to drag you down with them.

所以你要小心避免工作場所的負面人物，因為他們可能會把你拖下水。

And even though you may be very friendly with somebody, wait until there's an opportunity in an organization for a promotion

即使你和某人很友好，等到公司中有晉升的機會，

and you get it over them to see how long that lasts, because it can be uber-competitive and quite awkward if one day you're the coworker and the next day you're their supervisor.

如果你超越了他們，看看那能持續多久，因為這可能是非常競爭激烈和尷尬的，有一天你是同事，第二天你就是他們的主管。

And if you're lucky enough to get that promotion, now you've got a coworker who has spent all that time at the water cooler with you and knows all your dirty secrets.

而如果你足夠幸運獲得了升遷，現在你有一個同事，他花了那麼多時間和你在飲水機旁邊，知道你所有的骯髒秘密。

So now it's going to compromise you a little bit, especially if you're put into an awkward situation where you might know something that they don't,

現在這可能會有點委屈你，尤其是如果你陷入一個尷尬的情境，你可能知道一些他們不知道的事情，

because an unscrupulous coworker could dangle that in front of you and you might be held hostage a little bit.

因為一個不道德的同事可能會將這放在你面前，你可能會有點受制於人。

Not to mention if you're trying to go places and you've got somebody that's jealous of your progression, it could hold you back as well.

更不用說如果你正試圖取得晉升，而有人嫉妒你的進步，這也可能阻礙你。

Another dynamic to be really careful about in addition to the one that I found out the hard way of oversharing is when you start putting back some drinks and you start getting a little loose and a little inebriated,

另一個要格外小心的動態，除了我曾經吃過苦頭的過度分享，是當你開始喝一些酒，變得有點放鬆和喝醉，

you start to have loose lips, you start to get a little too touchy-feely.

你會開始說出一些不慎言辭，開始變得有點過於親昵。

There's a very fine line between being chummy and harassment.

在友好和騷擾之間有細微的分別。

And it doesn't always have to be the kind that you're thinking, it could be something like an off-color joke that's told and you don't know who you're offending.

而且這種騷擾並不總是你所想的那種，可能是講了一個顏色不標準的笑話，而你不知道你冒犯了誰。

And an old adage that we used to say in HR is anything that you say or do at work can come back to haunt you at a later date.

我們在人力資源部門曾經說過的一句古老的格言是，你在工作中說或做的任何事都可能在以後招致麻煩。

So just be really careful if you partake in things like happy hours or other events that might be outside of work hours but with coworkers.

所以如果你參與類似快樂時光或其他可能在工作時間之外但與同事一起的活動，要格外小心。

This isn't to say that you can't be friends with your coworkers because I too have friends that I've known for years and met them at work.

這不是說你不能和同事交朋友，因為我也有一些多年的朋友是在工作中認識的。

But what I am saying is pick and choose your friends very carefully and just be really cautious about how you behave and what you say and what you share with them.

但我的意思是要非常謹慎地挑選你的朋友，注意你的行為，注意你說的話和分享的內容。

So hopefully you gained a little bit of wisdom out of this video.

所以，希望你能從這段影片中獲得一點智慧。

You don't make the same career mistakes that I did.

你不會犯和我一樣的職業錯誤。

But if you're somebody that's looking to get ahead in your career, it's actually something that I specialize.

但如果你想在事業上有所成就，這其實是我的專長。

I've got a website called lifeafterlayoff.com.

我有一個名為「失業後的生活」的網站。

It's loaded with tips and tricks all from an insider's perspective and it gives a ton of free resources on careers and how to navigate the employment situation.

它從業內人士的角度提供了大量的技巧和竅門，並提供了大量關於職業和如何應對就業形勢的免費資源。

And if you need a little bit of help getting ahead in your career and you're feeling stuck, I do offer some private one-on-one coaching sessions and you can reach me through my website for that.

如果你在職業生涯中需要一點幫助，並且感覺被困住了，我確實提供一些一對一的私人輔導課程，你可以通過我的網站聯繫我。

Thanks for watching and we'll see you on the next one.