I probably write around 500 customers' names everyday.

我每天大概寫 500 個客人的名字。

Recently it's come to my attention that people aren't always satisfied with the names I've written.

最近，我發現客人好像對我寫的名字不太滿意。

In fact, many people say the names are often wildly inaccurate.

事實上，很多人都表示我根本沒有寫對他們的名字。

They wanna know why I can never get it right.

他們想知道為什麼我總是寫錯。

Allow me to explain why, I am fucking with you.

讓我來解釋一下為什麼，我其實是鬧著你們玩的！

I didn't mishear your name, I'm deliberately misspelling your name to confuse and annoy you.

我並沒有聽錯你的名字，我就是故意把你的名字拼錯來混淆你、捉弄你。

It's the best part of my job, and I will never stop.

這是我工作中最棒的一環，而且我會繼續這樣做下去。

Let me assure you, everyone in the world knows how to spell Jessica, literally everyone.

我跟你保證，全世界都知道 Jessica 要怎麼拼，絕對沒有人會拼錯。

I decided to write "Gessica" on your cup to play with your emotions in a shrewd and calculating way.

但我決定要在你的杯子上拼成 Gessica，用這種方式對你惡作劇。

And it worked.

看來我的惡作劇生效了。

You posted about it on Instagram, Twitter and Vine.

你會發文在 Instagram、Twitter 和 Vine 上罵我。

So sorry you didn't go viral.

很抱歉你的貼文沒有造成轟動。

I'm in your head now.

我確實破壞了你的心情。

When I hear a customer's name, I immediately think, how could I spell this name in an obnoxious way that will infuriate and perplex them.

當我聽到客人的名字時，我馬上就會思考要用什麼討厭的方式來惹怒並困擾客人。

For example, instead of "Chris", writing "Khris".

比方說，我把 Chris 寫成 Khris。

It's a small change but people still hate it.

這是一個小小的改變，但人們仍然會很不爽。

Other times I like to really fuck with people by spelling their name in a way that barely contains any of the correct letters.

有時候，我會把客人的名字改得面目全非。

Like a time I spell Nykal instead of Michael.

上一次我把 Michael 寫成 Nykal。

Oh man! That guy almost had a mental breakdown when he saw that.

天啊！當那個人看到時他幾乎快精神崩潰了！

(What's wrong?)

(怎麼了？)

Poor poor Nykal.

可憐啊 Nykal。

But every once in a while, I'll spell your name correctly.

但很偶爾，我會把你的名字拼對。

You'll pick up your order, and be delighted to discover that your name is spelled right today.

當你領取你的飲品時，你會很開心看到我今天把你的名字拼對。

You'll think things might be looking up for you.

你會覺得你要開始走運了。

That's what I want you to think.

這就是我的目的。

I am lulling you into a false sense of security.

在你習慣了失望之後用一個哄騙的招數讓你比較好過。

This isn't over. It's never over.

我不會停止做這件事，我會一直一直做下去！

I am sorry I didn't catch your name.

不好意思，我沒有聽清楚你的名字。

John. Thanks John.

約翰，謝謝你哦約翰。

Hi I am Paul ,tell me your best Starbucks story in the comments and I'll feature my favorite in an upcoming videos.

嗨！我是保羅，在下方留言告訴我你在星巴克發生的趣事，我會挑出最喜歡的作為下一支影片的題材。

Subscribe and thumbs up if you like it.

如果你喜歡這個影片，請幫我訂閱並點個讚。

And I'm on Instagram and Twitter but who gives a fuck.

你可以來看看我的 Instagram 和 Twitter，不過應該是沒人鳥我啦。

Specially thanks to Starbucks for having a sense of humor about this and thank you for watching.

特別感謝星巴克幽默地看待這件事情。也謝謝你的收看。