You give and take equally.

平等地付出和回報。

One person’s needs aren’t met over another’s.

不光是為了滿足別人的需求。

Friends and partners are supposed to give your energy, lift you up when you’re down, and want the best for you.

身為朋友和夥伴們，應該要能給予你能量、在你低潮時鼓勵你、並且為你設想。

But sometimes, we get into relationships that drain energy from us.

但有時我們陷入的關係，反而會汲取我們的能量。

These are toxic relationships and they can negatively affect all aspects of our lives.

這些像毒一般的關係會對我們的生活造成全盤性地負面影響。

On this week’s WellCast, we’re gonna show you how you can tell if you’re even in a toxic relationship and then, we’re gonna help you extricate yourself from that unhealthy situation pronto.

在這周的 WellCast 中，我們將告訴你如何分辨你是否身處一段有害的關係之中。接著，我們會教你如何迅速地使自己脫離這樣不健康的狀態。

Selfie 1: Diagnose the relationship.

自我檢視第一步：診斷這段關係

How do you know for a friend or a partner’s bringing you down?

要怎麼知道這個朋友或夥伴正在拖垮你？

Well, in much the same way that you know that you’re coming down with a cold.

這麼說吧！就像感冒時你總是無精打采的，這也一樣。

Toxic relationships come with symptoms.

有害關係也伴隨一些症狀。

When you’re around this person, how do you feel?

當你待在這個人身邊時，你感覺如何？

Here are few other questions you should ask yourself if you’re thinking you might be in a toxic situation.

如果認為自己可能陷入一段有害關係時，這裡有幾個問題可以問問自己。

Does my friend put me down all the time?

我的朋友總是令我感到情緒低迷嗎？

Are they jealous when I spend time with others?

當我和其他人相處時，他們會因此感到嫉妒嗎？

Do they constantly bring out parts of me that they wanna change?

他們老是說我有很多需要改變的地方嗎？

Do they take more than they give?

他們是不是接受的比付出的多呢？

Am I only doing the things that they wanna do?

我是不是變得只做他們想做的事呢？

Selfie 2: Recognize your role in the relationship.

自我檢視第二步：認清你在這段關係所扮演的角色。

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Nobody can make you feel INFERIOR without your consent."

就像愛蓮娜‧羅斯福所說的：「沒有人能讓你感到自卑，除非你自己同意。」

Alright, look, we know we got that from "Princess Diaries" obviously.

好吧！很明顯我們是在《麻雀變公主》這部電影裡看到這句話的。

Moving on, listen! You have autonomy in every relationship in your life.

繼續，聽著！在你人生中的每段關係裡，你都擁有自主權。

If your friend or partner is stealing your sunshine, you need to figure out what you’re doing to allow them to do this.

如果你的朋友或夥伴正在偷走你的快樂，好好想想你的哪些舉動默許了他們這樣的行為。

Are you being a doormat?

你是不是把自己搞得像個受氣包？

Are you putting this person’s emotional needs ahead of your own health?

是不是把別人的情緒需求放在自己的健康之前？

Selfie 3: Start to build BOUNDARIES for this relationship.

自我檢視第三步：開始建立這段關係的界線。

Does your friend invites himself over at all hours in the night?

你的朋友是不是 24 小時不請自來，即便是晚上也一樣？

Are they constantly bossing you around?

他們是不是成天指使你？

Are they always borrowing money from you?

他們是不是總向你借錢？

Alright, once you know the boundary that you wanna set, stick to it.

好的，一旦知道了自己設下的底線在哪後，堅守它。

Draw your line in the sand.

劃清界線。

Selfie 4: Recognize you can’t change other people, but you can stop being a doormat.

自我檢視第四步：明白你永遠無法改變他人，但你可以停止做出氣包。

If you’ve determined that a friendship or a relationship is toxic, you know that you have to change the nature of that relationship.

如果已經認定這段友情或關係是有害的，你必須改變這段關係的本質。

Start by spending less time with that person and do your best to detach yourself emotionally.

從減少和那個人的相處開始，並盡你所能地在情感上與他分離。

Hopefully setting boundaries will help you begin to phase this relationship out.

希望設下界線會幫助你漸漸遠離這段關係。

Selfie 5: Get a second opinion.

自我檢視第五步：尋求他人意見

Especially if you’re emotionally vulnerable, the best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who love you and who want you to be happy and healthy.

特別是如果你精神較為脆弱，最好的方法就是多與周遭愛你、希望你健康、開心的人相處。

Use them as a lifeline during this time.

像拉住救命繩一樣依靠他們。

Selfie 6: Above all else, look out for yourself.

自我檢視第六步：除了上述的要點外，照顧好自己。

Studies have shown that people with low self-esteem are far more likely to find themselves in toxic relationships.

研究顯示，低自尊的人較有可能陷入有害的關係中。

You will never be treated with love and respect unless you absolutely believe that you deserve these things.

你永遠無法被愛和尊重，除非你先深深相信自己值得擁有這些。

Remember, you teach people how to treat you.

記住，是你教會你身邊的人如何對待你。

So do yourself a favor of loving yourself.

所以幫自己一個忙，好好愛自己。

That’s the first step to any relationship.

這是所有關係的第一步。

To recap, if you have diagnosed yourself as being in a toxic relationship, the first step is recognizing this.

總結一下，如果已經判定自己身處一段有害關係中，第一步就是要看清事實。

Then, recognizing your role in a relationship.

然後認清自己在這段關係中所扮演的角色。

Once you do this, you can start to set boundaries for this relationship and change the way you interact with this person.

如此，你就可以開始設下這段關係的界線，並改變和那人相處的方式。

To help, surround yourself with people who love you.

讓自己身邊環繞著愛你的人。

And above all else, look out for yourself.

除此之外，記得照顧自己。

Well, that’s all from me today, WellCasters.

這些就是今天的所有內容了，各位 WellCasters。

Would you do me a kindness?

可以幫我一個忙嗎?

Subscribe to our channel. Sign up for our newsletter to receive sneak peaks and another awesome stuff.

訂閱我們的頻道，註冊電子報，並搶先看其他優質內容。

See you later!

下次見！