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  • I want this!

    我要這個!

  • For some people, it's the easiest thing in the world to say.

    對某些人來說,這是世界上最容易說出口的一句話。

  • Life's pretty nice for these kinds of assertive people.

    對這些有主見的人來說,生活一定很不賴。

  • They usually end up with the window seat on airplanes, the last slice of pizza and a cubicle that's not by the bathroom.

    他們最後總坐在飛機上靠窗的位子、吃掉最後一片披薩、而且坐在不靠廁所的辦公桌。

  • I hope he flushed.

    希望他有沖水。

  • But not everybody is naturally assertive even if they're allowed.

    但並不是每個人都天生的那麼有主見 (能清楚且尊重他人地說明自己的需求、渴望、處境以及社交界線。),即使他們被允許。

  • If you're like a lot of members on the WellCast Team, you might not be as comfortable talking about yourself.

    如果你跟我們 WellCast 團隊裡的很多人一樣,那你在表達自己時可能會覺得不自在。

  • Saying what you want or what you think when you're around a lot of people can be really difficult.

    當你在一群人之中,說出你想要的東西或你的想法,可能格外困難。

  • Okay well, today we've got four quick tips on how to be more assertive in every aspect of your life.

    好,我們有四個簡單的小技巧,能讓你在生活中的各個層面都變得更有主見。

  • At school, at work or at a nerve-racking situation, like having to tell your parents that you ding the car. (I'am so sorry.)

    不論是在學校、在公司、或在讓人不安的場合,例如要告訴爸媽你把車子撞凹了。 (真的很對不起。)

  • You're ready? Tip 1: Hold on to your N.U.T.s!

    準備好了嗎? 第一:堅守你的 N.U.T.s!

  • Yap. This is an acronym borrowed from the author Wayne Levine.

    沒錯。這是向作家 Wayne Levine 借用的縮寫。

  • It stands for non-negotiable, unalterable terms, basically, your boundaries.

    這代表不可談判且不可改變的事物,基本上,就是你的底線。

  • When you find yourself stuck in an uncomfortable position, ask yourself: What are the most important things to me in this situation?

    當你發現自己處在一個尷尬的位置時,問問自己:這個狀態下什麼對我來說是最重要的?

  • What do I absolutely refuse to compromise?

    什麼東西是我絕對不會妥協的?

  • Your N.U.T.s should include something broad like my health, or something specific, like my "A" average in biology.

    你的N.U.T.要包含宏觀的事物,例如自己的健康,或是一些具體的事物,例如生物科的平均要拿 A。

  • Either way, once you know what your priorities are, it'll be easier to fight for 'em.

    總之,只要你知道自己的優先順序,你就更容易為他們而戰。

  • Tip 2 : Be simple, honest and direct.

    第二:簡單、誠實、和直接。

  • Don't be passive-aggressive or coy, it's annoying.

    不要太消極、有敵意、或拐彎抹角,那很煩人。

  • If a waiter brings you a kale salad and you ordered a cheeseburger,

    如果服務生給你甘藍菜沙拉,但你點的其實是起司漢堡,

  • don't wait until the end of the meal to undertip, have them send it back.

    不要忍到吃完,然後又給服務生太少的小費,你應該把沙拉退回去的。

  • If you're honest and direct, rather than waffly and underhanded, things are more likely to work out in your favor.

    如果你既誠實又直接,而不是含糊其辭或狡詐的話,事情就更可能會照你想要的方式進行。

  • At the very least, you've done yourself a favor by making your needs known.

    至少,你幫了自己一個忙,因為你已經讓自己的需求被知道了。

  • Tip 3 : Fake it 'til you make it.

    第三:假裝有主見直到你真的很有主見。

  • Hey, here's a secret. If you act assertive, you'd start feeling assertive.

    嘿,這裡有個秘密。如果你表現得很有主見,你就會開始感到有主見。

  • So, how do you know to do that?

    所以,那你該怎麼做?

  • Well, use your body language and your voice to make your presence known.

    運用你的肢體語言和聲音來讓你顯得很有存在感。

  • Practice good posture and speak in an authoritative volume.

    練習好的坐姿與站姿,並用有權威的音量講話。

  • Please do not touch anything on my desk.

    請不要動我桌上的任何東西。

  • It smells in there, are you flushing? I know you didn't wash your hands.

    那裡面好臭,你有沖水嗎?我知道你沒洗手。

  • Be an eagle, not a turtle.

    當老鷹,不要當烏龜。

  • I know, just let me tease this metaphor out a little bit, it's a little weird.

    我知道這個比喻有點怪,不過讓我澄清一下。

  • Do: be an eagle. Don't: be a turtle.

    要像一隻老鷹。不要像烏龜。

  • Don't thrust your shoulders forward to slump.

    不要彎腰駝背的。

  • You look like you're apologizing for yourself.

    這樣看起來像你為自己感到抱歉。

  • Do: straighten your back, stick your chest out, breath evenly and deeply.

    挺直你的背脊、挺起你的胸膛、平穩且深沉的呼吸。

  • Don't: dart your eyes about, it's gonna look like you've got something to hide.

    不要左看右看,這看起來像你在隱瞞什麼東西。

  • Pro tip, if you're nervous about maintaining eye contact, look at someone's nose or forehead, you'll see more engaged and in control.

    這裡有個專業建議,如果你對於和他人進行眼神交流感到緊張,那就盯著對方的鼻子或額頭,你看起來會更專注而且較不緊張。

  • We've tried this, it actually works.

    我們試過了,這真的有效。

  • Do: speak up. Seriously, I can even hear you right now.

    一定要把話說出來。真的,我現在甚至可以聽到你的聲音。

  • Tip 4 : Use "I" statements, instead of "you" statements.

    第四:用「我」開頭,而不是用「你」開頭。

  • This way, you can express what you want without being accusatory.

    如此一來,你在表達想法的同時就不會顯得很興師問罪。

  • To it, what follows is the wrong way to tell your roommate to do the dishes.

    對此,接下來要示範的是,叫你室友去洗碗的錯誤方法。

  • You never do the dishes, there is a pile of them in the sink right now and it's old enough to be carbon dated.

    你從沒有洗過碗,現在水槽裡有一堆碗盤,它們都擺到可以用碳元素定年法了。

  • Here's the right way, I feel like I've been doing more than my fair share of the dishes lately.

    接下來才是正確方法,我覺得我最近洗碗的次數比當初約定的還多了。

  • I'm pretty tired when I get home from work, could you help me out?

    我下班回家後都好累,你可以幫忙我嗎?

  • See? You expressed your frustration without sounding like a nag.

    看到了嗎?你表達了你的失望但又不會聽起來一直在嘮叨。

  • The assertive is [a] gold mine.

    主見是座金礦。

  • All right. You've completed your primer for being assertive.

    好了。你已經完成了如何有主見的入門課。

  • Remember: figure out your priorities, be straightforward and honest, maintain good posture, eye contact and volume, and use "I" statements.

    記住:找到你的優先順序、直接且誠實、維持好的姿態、眼神交流以及音量,還有用「我」來開頭。

  • Go forth Well Casters, you're ready to tell that waiter that you ordered a cheeseburger.

    去吧Well Casters,你已經準備好要告訴店員你點的是起司漢堡。

I want this!

我要這個!

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停止「情緒勒索」!學習當個擁有 assertive 特質的人 (How to be more Assertive in Life)

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    Sunny Hsu 發佈於 2022 年 04 月 14 日
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