Name: 停止「情緒勒索」！學習當個擁有 assertive 特質的人 (How to be more Assertive in Life)
Uploaded: 2022-04-14T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 5 min 1 s

For some people, it's the easiest thing in the world to say.

對某些人來說，這是世界上最容易說出口的一句話。

程度副詞

Life's pretty nice for these kinds of assertive people.

對這些有主見的人來說，生活一定很不賴。

They usually end up with the window seat on airplanes, the last slice of pizza and a cubicle that's not by the bathroom.

他們最後總坐在飛機上靠窗的位子、吃掉最後一片披薩、而且坐在不靠廁所的辦公桌。

But not everybody is naturally assertive even if they're allowed.

但並不是每個人都天生的那麼有主見 (能清楚且尊重他人地說明自己的需求、渴望、處境以及社交界線。)，即使他們被允許。

If you're like a lot of members on the WellCast Team, you might not be as comfortable talking about yourself.

如果你跟我們 WellCast 團隊裡的很多人一樣，那你在表達自己時可能會覺得不自在。

Saying what you want or what you think when you're around a lot of people can be really difficult.

當你在一群人之中，說出你想要的東西或你的想法，可能格外困難。

Okay well, today we've got four quick tips on how to be more assertive in every aspect of your life.

好，我們有四個簡單的小技巧，能讓你在生活中的各個層面都變得更有主見。

At school, at work or at a nerve-racking situation, like having to tell your parents that you ding the car. (I'am so sorry.)

不論是在學校、在公司、或在讓人不安的場合，例如要告訴爸媽你把車子撞凹了。 (真的很對不起。)

You're ready? Tip 1: Hold on to your N.U.T.s!

準備好了嗎? 第一：堅守你的 N.U.T.s！

Yap. This is an acronym borrowed from the author Wayne Levine.

沒錯。這是向作家 Wayne Levine 借用的縮寫。

It stands for non-negotiable, unalterable terms, basically, your boundaries.

這代表不可談判且不可改變的事物，基本上，就是你的底線。

When you find yourself stuck in an uncomfortable position, ask yourself: What are the most important things to me in this situation?

當你發現自己處在一個尷尬的位置時，問問自己：這個狀態下什麼對我來說是最重要的？

What do I absolutely refuse to compromise?

什麼東西是我絕對不會妥協的？

Your N.U.T.s should include something broad like my health, or something specific, like my "A" average in biology.

你的N.U.T.要包含宏觀的事物，例如自己的健康，或是一些具體的事物，例如生物科的平均要拿 A。

Either way, once you know what your priorities are, it'll be easier to fight for 'em.

總之，只要你知道自己的優先順序，你就更容易為他們而戰。

Don't be passive-aggressive or coy, it's annoying.

不要太消極、有敵意、或拐彎抹角，那很煩人。

If a waiter brings you a kale salad and you ordered a cheeseburger,

如果服務生給你甘藍菜沙拉，但你點的其實是起司漢堡，

don't wait until the end of the meal to undertip, have them send it back.

不要忍到吃完，然後又給服務生太少的小費，你應該把沙拉退回去的。

If you're honest and direct, rather than waffly and underhanded, things are more likely to work out in your favor.

如果你既誠實又直接，而不是含糊其辭或狡詐的話，事情就更可能會照你想要的方式進行。

At the very least, you've done yourself a favor by making your needs known.

至少，你幫了自己一個忙，因為你已經讓自己的需求被知道了。

第三：假裝有主見直到你真的很有主見。

Hey, here's a secret. If you act assertive, you'd start feeling assertive.

嘿，這裡有個秘密。如果你表現得很有主見，你就會開始感到有主見。

Well, use your body language and your voice to make your presence known.

運用你的肢體語言和聲音來讓你顯得很有存在感。

Practice good posture and speak in an authoritative volume.

練習好的坐姿與站姿，並用有權威的音量講話。

It smells in there, are you flushing? I know you didn't wash your hands.

那裡面好臭，你有沖水嗎？我知道你沒洗手。

I know, just let me tease this metaphor out a little bit, it's a little weird.

我知道這個比喻有點怪，不過讓我澄清一下。

Don't thrust your shoulders forward to slump.

You look like you're apologizing for yourself.

這樣看起來像你為自己感到抱歉。

Do: straighten your back, stick your chest out, breath evenly and deeply.

挺直你的背脊、挺起你的胸膛、平穩且深沉的呼吸。

Don't: dart your eyes about, it's gonna look like you've got something to hide.

不要左看右看，這看起來像你在隱瞞什麼東西。

Pro tip, if you're nervous about maintaining eye contact, look at someone's nose or forehead, you'll see more engaged and in control.

這裡有個專業建議，如果你對於和他人進行眼神交流感到緊張，那就盯著對方的鼻子或額頭，你看起來會更專注而且較不緊張。

Do: speak up. Seriously, I can even hear you right now.

一定要把話說出來。真的，我現在甚至可以聽到你的聲音。

Tip 4 : Use "I" statements, instead of "you" statements.

第四：用「我」開頭，而不是用「你」開頭。

This way, you can express what you want without being accusatory.

如此一來，你在表達想法的同時就不會顯得很興師問罪。

To it, what follows is the wrong way to tell your roommate to do the dishes.

對此，接下來要示範的是，叫你室友去洗碗的錯誤方法。

You never do the dishes, there is a pile of them in the sink right now and it's old enough to be carbon dated.

你從沒有洗過碗，現在水槽裡有一堆碗盤，它們都擺到可以用碳元素定年法了。

Here's the right way, I feel like I've been doing more than my fair share of the dishes lately.

接下來才是正確方法，我覺得我最近洗碗的次數比當初約定的還多了。

I'm pretty tired when I get home from work, could you help me out?

我下班回家後都好累，你可以幫忙我嗎？

See? You expressed your frustration without sounding like a nag.

看到了嗎？你表達了你的失望但又不會聽起來一直在嘮叨。

All right. You've completed your primer for being assertive.

好了。你已經完成了如何有主見的入門課。

Remember: figure out your priorities, be straightforward and honest, maintain good posture, eye contact and volume, and use "I" statements.

記住：找到你的優先順序、直接且誠實、維持好的姿態、眼神交流以及音量，還有用「我」來開頭。

Go forth Well Casters, you're ready to tell that waiter that you ordered a cheeseburger.

去吧Well Casters，你已經準備好要告訴店員你點的是起司漢堡。