Name: 給妳10分鐘，讓妳自信爆棚！| Maya Raichoora | TEDxWoodLaneWomen (Give Me 10 Minutes to Help You Become Dangerously Confident | Maya Raichoora | TEDxWoodLaneWomen)
Uploaded: 2026-03-02T21:49:07.000Z
Duration: 11 min 20 s

to 不定詞

Okay, so I want to introduce you to someone called Alex.

好的，所以我想介紹一位叫做 Alex 的朋友給大家認識。

Alex walks into rooms and meetings with great energy.

Alex 帶著滿滿的 energy 走進房間和會議裡。

People actually compliment her and say, wow, Alex, you're so confident.

大家都會 compliment 她，說哇，Alex，妳好 confident。

She nods, plays the part because on the outside she does look confident.

她 nods，plays the part，因為從外面看，她確實看起來很 confident。

When she leaves these rooms, her mind starts to question things.

當她離開這些房間後，她的腦袋就開始 question things。

What if they find out I didn't really know much about what I was talking about and this really consumes her.

Now, there's a difference between confidence and self confidence.

It grows with praise, when people give you compliments.

It grows when you succeed, when you're winning, when you get the applause.

But what happens when that all goes away?

很多時候 confidence 也會跟著消失。

Now, self confidence is an internal game.

那，self confidence 就是一場內在的遊戲。

It's steady, often it's quite quiet actually.

它很穩定，其實通常也很安靜。

But it's this knowing in yourself and a self trust that no matter what externally is happening, no matter what circumstances are there that you have got you, whether it's setbacks, whether it's great things, whether it's people that you know, you can figure it out.

但這份對自己的瞭解和信任，讓你明白，不管外在發生什麼事，不管情況如何，你都能應付，無論是挫折、是好事，還是你認識的人，你都能搞定。

The problem is most of us, we glamorize being confident, right?

問題是，我們大多數人都把 confident 理想化了，對吧？

We want people to know that we're confident.

我們希望別人知道我們很 confident。

在某些方面，我們有點像在偽裝。

The problem is without self confidence, confidence just becomes a mask.

問題是，如果沒有 self confidence，confidence 就只會變成一個面具。

But with self confidence, it becomes more real.

但有了 self confidence，它就會變得更真實。

Again, something that comes from within you.

再次強調，這是來自你內在的東西。

Now, I have been a leading mental fitness expert for the last eight years and this particular subject has really interested me in the last couple of years and I'm really excited to share some more insights about it.

過去八年來，我一直是領先的心理健康專家，而這個主題在過去幾年來一直讓我非常感興趣，我非常興奮能和大家分享更多見解。

Because the gap between you being confident, then you actually feeling self confident shapes your reality in ways that people rarely admit.

因為你 confident 和你實際感覺 self confident 之間的差距，會以人們很少承認的方式塑造你的現實。

And so I literally have 10 minutes to make you dangerously confident.

所以我只有 10 分鐘的時間，讓你變得 dangerously confident。

So there are some signs that will show you if you are confident but not self confident.

有些跡象會顯示你是否 confident 但不 self confident。

The first being you really over rely on external validation.

第一個跡象是，你非常依賴 external validation。

That means someone else's opinion about your work, about your character, about your success.

這意味著別人對你的工作、你的品格、你的成功的看法。

And the problem with this is often it means that we can't hear our own opinion or our own voice.

而這個問題常常是，我們聽不到自己的意見或自己的聲音。

So if you are confident, you generally thrive when things are Going really well.

所以如果你很有 confidence，事情進展順利時你通常會表現得很棒。

But when things start to go a bit wrong, it really consumes you.

但當事情開始有點不順時，就會嚴重影響你。

And the way I like to describe this is where your confidence is quite situational, it goes up and down.

我喜歡這樣形容，就是你的 confidence 狀況很不穩定，會起起伏伏。

And I see this a lot in high performers, specifically athletes, because if you're winning and you're succeeding and you're loving it, then of course you're going to feel good, you have the competence in that area.

我在表現優異的人身上常看到這種情況，特別是運動員，因為如果你贏了、你成功了、你很享受，那當然你會感覺很好，你在那個領域很有 competence。

But then when things aren't going great, which happens, life happens, maybe you've had some losses, then we really feel low about ourselves, so we lack consistency there.

但當事情不如預期時，這很正常，生活就是這樣，也許你輸了一些比賽，那我們就會覺得自己很糟，所以在這一塊我們就缺乏 consistency。

And then the last one, which I find particularly interesting is we use confidence to please others.

然後最後一個，我覺得特別有意思的是，我們會用 confidence 去取悅別人。

We perform it rather than it being an expression of your actual truth.

我們是在表演，而不是在表達你真實的自我。

And I see this very often because we're basically mirroring expectations rather than reflecting your soul, what's actually within you.

我常常看到這種情況，因為我們基本上是在模仿別人的期待，而不是反映你內心真正的聲音，你真實的樣子。

And it's because the world tells you what confidence should look like.

這是因為這個世界告訴你，什麼樣才叫做有 confidence。

Whether you're a man, whether you're a woman, this is how you should be confident.

不論你是男生，還是女生，就應該要有 confidence。

But it's a personal game and it's an inner one.

但這是一場個人的遊戲，而且是內在的。

So if you resonate with any of these, don't be worried.

所以如果你對這些有共鳴，不用擔心。

This is just a signal and it's a signal to say that, hey, we can actually strengthen your inner confidence.

這只是一個訊號，一個告訴你「嘿，我們可以真正加強你內在的 confidence」的訊號。

We can make it better, we can make it dangerous.

我們可以讓它變得更好，讓它更有力量。

You can go through life feeling good within yourself and therefore in the way you think, feel and perform.

你可以在內心感到自在，進而影響你的想法、感受和表現。

I started working with Alex and what was great is we really boiled it down to three key steps that can help you build the skill of self confidence.

我開始和 Alex 合作，很棒的是我們真的把重點濃縮成三個關鍵步驟，能幫助你建立 self confidence 的技巧。

Everyone can go from just being externally confident to actually having that inner confidence.

每個人都能從外在的 confident 進步到真正擁有內在的 confidence。

So step number one, you have to take ownership of your self image.

所以第一步，你必須為你的自我形象負責。

我們大多數人，都會把自我形象外包出去。

We let the world tell us this is who you should be.

我們讓世界告訴我們，你應該成為什麼樣的人。

Maybe we learn it from when we're young, maybe we have siblings, friends that we tend to mirror.

也許是從我們小時候開始學的，也許我們有兄弟姊妹、朋友，我們會不自覺地去模仿。

But if you can spend time intentionally defining who you want to be, what that self confident version of you looks like, feels like, how do they walk, how do they talk?

但如果你能花時間有意識地定義你想成為什麼樣的人，那個充滿自信的你會有什麼樣子、感覺如何，他們走路、說話的樣子又是怎樣？

You can change a lot in your life because you're taking it from oh, will they like me to I'm going to choose who I'm going to be today.

你就能改變生活中的很多事，因為你會從「他們會喜歡我嗎？」變成「我今天要選擇成為什麼樣的人」。

It doesn't matter if people don't like me because you're aligned to your own values and your own opinion here.

別人喜不喜歡我已經不重要了，因為你已經遵從了自己的價值觀和自己的想法。

Now for something like this, I would highly Recommend using techniques like visualization where you can actually mentally rehearse that character, that self image.

現在，對於這件事，我強烈建議使用像視覺化這樣的技巧，讓你在腦海中預演那個角色、那個自我形象。

But to make it really simple so all of you can go away today and literally start implementing this.

但為了讓它變得非常簡單，讓你們所有人今天都能夠實際開始執行。

Now, I challenge you to ask yourself a question every morning or every day, which is, who do I choose to be?

現在，我挑戰你們每天早上或每天問自己一個問題：「我選擇成為誰？」

What would my most self confident version look like?

我最有自信的樣子會是什麼樣子？

Okay, step number two, building strong self trust.

好的，第二步，建立強大的自我信任。

This is such an important step because from speaking to a lot of people, from elite athletes to leaders to CEOs to 17 year olds at school, underneath self confidence is really this idea of do I trust myself?

這是非常重要的一步，因為從我和許多人聊過，從頂尖運動員、領導者、執行長到學校裡的 17 歲青少年，在自信的背後，其實都藏著一個想法：「我信任自己嗎？」

Especially when maybe you've had hardship or something's gone wrong, can I trust myself again to keep showing up?

特別是當你可能經歷過困難或事情出了差錯時，我還能再次信任自己，繼續堅持下去嗎？

The best way to do this is you've got to get very, very good at keeping the promises you make to yourself, no matter how small or big that might be.

做到這點最好的方法是，你必須非常、非常擅長信守你對自己的承諾，無論大小。

Let's say you tell yourself, okay, I'm going to go to the gym three times a week.

假設你告訴自己，好，我一週要去三次健身房。

And if you don't do that, your self confidence is going down and down because you are telling yourself, hey, I don't trust my words, I don't trust myself here.

如果你沒做到，你的自信就會不斷下降，因為你等於在告訴自己：「嘿，我不相信自己的話，我不相信自己。」

So if you think about those little promises, whether it's I'm going to ring a friend today or I'm going to take one step towards a big vision I have, if you can keep keeping those promises, promises to yourself, you're going to build this muscle of self trust and the last one, detach from outcomes.

所以，想想那些小小的承諾，無論是「我今天會打電話給朋友」，還是「我要朝著我心中的偉大願景邁出一小步」，如果你能持續信守這些承諾，對自己的承諾，你就會建立起這塊自我信任的肌肉，最後一點，就是放下對結果的執著。

But the reason this is so important is because it really addresses that initial signal of having confidence that really wavers when things are good and when things are bad.

但這之所以如此重要，是因為它真正解決了自信一開始動搖的問題，也就是在順境和逆境中都會動搖。

We are obsessed with results and we tie our worth and our confidence and our moods and our state to if we win or lose.

我們對結果斤斤計較，我們把自己的價值、自信、情緒和狀態，都繫於我們是贏還是輸。

But I challenge you to think, well actually, what else can we celebrate?

但我挑戰你們想想，其實，我們還能慶祝些什麼呢？

And the action you have to take here is celebrating those little victories in your effort, not just the results.

所以，你現在要做的就是慶祝那些努力過程中的小勝利，而不只是看結果。

We won't always get the goals we want, we won't always win.

我們不會總是達成想要的目標，我們不會總是贏。

But if you can build a relationship and an internal validation system where you remind yourself, hey, that was a great job, great effort, you tried your best, that will compound into you again building that skill of self confidence.

但如果你能建立一種關係和內在的肯定系統，提醒自己「嘿，你做得很好，很努力，你已經盡力了」，這會累積起來，讓你再次建立起自我信任的能力。

So just as a reminder to really build this one, we've got to take control of our self image.

所以，再次提醒大家，要建立這個能力，我們得掌控自己的自我形象。

所以問問自己，我今天該成為什麼樣的人？

You've got to make those and keep those promises you make to yourself.

你必須信守你對自己許下的承諾。

And then three is really start rewarding yourself for those smaller efforts and smaller inputs that you put into your life.

然後第三點，是真正開始獎勵自己在生活中付出的那些微小的努力和投入。

And the last thing I'm going to say is that I obviously said in 10 minutes, I'm going to make you dangerously confident.

最後我想說的是，我剛剛說了，在十分鐘內，我會讓你變得極度自信。

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給妳10分鐘，讓妳自信爆棚！| Maya Raichoora | TEDxWoodLaneWomen (Give Me 10 Minutes to Help You Become Dangerously Confident | Maya Raichoora | TEDxWoodLaneWomen)

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