Name: 初次約會的誠實有多重要？！ (Honesty on Early Dates)
Uploaded: 2025-12-10T16:57:39.000Z
Duration: 3 min 36 s

We are here ultimately because we're fed up with being unseen.

我們最終來到這裡，是因為我們受夠了不被看見。

進階被動語態

We've come here to be known, to share our inner lives, for another person to witness us as we really are.

我們來到這裡，是為了被看見，分享我們的內心世界，讓另一個人能看見真實的我們。

But herein lies a paradox of early dating.

但這正是早期約會的悖論所在。

If we say too much too soon, if we too readily declare ourselves, if we show now what our last three partners knew, by the end we will be abandoned.

如果我們太快說太多，太容易表露自己，如果我們現在就展現出過去三任伴侶知道的一切，到最後我們就會被拋棄。

Were we to tell them right now, in this pretty restaurant with candlelight and Prince of Sicily and an interesting pear and almond tart for later, about the crisis at work, the illness we survived, the sort of sex we're really interested in, our susceptibility to anxiety and the amount of time we have to spend on work trips and with our families of birth they will run.

如果我們現在就告訴他們，在這間漂亮的餐廳裡，有著燭光、西西里王子，還有等等要吃的美味梨子杏仁塔，關於工作上的危機、我們曾熬過的病痛、我們真正感興趣的性愛類型、我們對焦慮的易感性，以及我們必須花多少時間在出差和原生家庭上，他們就會逃跑。

The full facts of any life are generally perilous to bear.

任何生命的完整事實，通常都難以承受。

And so we have few options other than to hedge.

是以，我們別無選擇，只能有所保留。

We tell them that our first relationship was somewhat stormy.

我們告訴他們，我們的第一段感情有點風波。

We remark that we've had a few ups and downs.

我們提到我們經歷了一些起伏。

Professionally, our father is described as intense.

在專業上，我們的父親被形容為很嚴肅。

The situation with our children is not always cheerful.

我們和孩子們的情況並非總是開心的。

We opt to say nothing at all about our kidneys and our brother in law.

我們選擇對我們的腎臟和我們的妹夫保持沉默。

This also won't be the moment to bring up the pending lawsuit.

這也不是提起正在進行的訴訟的時機。

As a result of such judicious management, we succeed.

由於這樣明智的管理，我們成功了。

有了第二次約會，還有第十次。

我們去阿姆斯特丹看維梅爾的作品。

They meet our friends D and P. But this isn't what we're here for.

他們遇見了我們的朋友 D 和 P。但我們來這裡不是為了這個。

We've come to escape loneliness, not to replicate it in a socialized form.

我們來是為了逃離孤獨，而不是以社交的形式複製孤獨。

The goal of love isn't to be admired, it's to be known.

愛情的目標不是被仰慕，而是被瞭解。

It isn't for someone to believe that we're marvelous.

不是為了讓別人覺得我們很棒。

It's for them to understand us as pitiful and not take fright.

而是讓他們理解我們可憐的一面，並且不會害怕。

We want them to fathom our oddities, our prevarications, the appalling compromises we've made, the shameful things we've done, and

我們希望他們能看穿我們的怪癖、我們的藉口、我們做出的可怕妥協，以及我們做過的羞恥之事，並且

We want to be known as the wretch we are and still be kept in mind.

我們希望被知道我們是個什麼樣的窩囊廢，但仍然被記住。

It must, in the end, be a matter of judicious sequencing.

最終，這一定是一個明智的管理排序的問題。

People can take a lot, so long as they first surveyed a basic capacity for decency and good sense.

人們可以承受很多事，只要他們先具備基本的體面和良好的判斷力。

By the 220th evening, they will have sufficient proof that we are also kind, also thoughtful, also approximately sane, and

到了第 220 個晚上，他們將有足夠的證據證明我們也很善良、也很體貼、也大致正常，

so will better be able to withstand the discovery of the sexual kink, our mental fragility and our tormented family bonds.

這樣就能更好地承受發現我們的性癖好、我們的精神脆弱以及我們痛苦的家庭關係。

They won't flee when we finally describe the full details of the divorce and the legal challenges in our business, because they will have the balancing evidence of our long ministration through their stomach ailment and behaviour around the crisis with their friend in early June.

當我們最終描述離婚的全部細節以及我們生意上的法律挑戰時，他們不會逃跑，因為他們會有我們在他們肚子不舒服時以及六月初朋友危機期間長期照料的平衡證據。

The months will have taught them that we are not merely foolish and thoughtless, not just impatient and very, very odd.

這幾個月會教會他們，我們不只是愚蠢和欠考慮，也不只是沒耐心和非常、非常奇怪。

There will come a time to mention what really happened with Granny and where the money actually went, but

總有一天會提到格蘭妮到底發生了什麼事，以及錢到底花到哪裡去了，但

they to be on the far side of 12 years old.

After many quiet readings of the owl who Loved its babies, we need to cut the truth up so it can be metabolized by those we care for.

在安靜地讀了許多遍「愛牠寶寶的貓頭鷹」之後，我們需要把真相切開，以便我們關心的人能夠消化。

It belongs to the paradoxical, eternally complicated work of love.

這屬於愛情的悖論，永恆的複雜工作。