Name: 你不是創傷，你只是受傷了！ (You're not traumatized you're just hurt)
Uploaded: 2025-11-27T16:54:18.000Z
Duration: 6 min 13 s

情態副詞

Today I want to talk about how you're not traumatized, you're probably just hurt.

今天我想聊聊，你可能不是創傷，只是受傷了。

程度副詞

There's a disturbing trend lately where psychobabble and the zeitgeist has been distorted, twisted, and sometimes even weaponized.

最近有個令人不安的趨勢，心理術語和時代精神被扭曲、誤用，甚至被武器化。

This has given the people the idea that they can prioritize selfish, uncommunicative behavior under the guise of self care, misuse psychological concepts like trauma and abuse, and

這讓大家覺得，可以打著自我照顧的幌子，優先考慮自私、不溝通的行為，濫用創傷和虐待等心理概念，

diagnose others who have hurt them in order to dismiss their own pain.

並診斷那些傷害他們的人，來忽視自己的痛苦。

Now terms like gaslighting and attachment and emotional labor have like, bled into the social lexicon, giving people everywhere permission to cut out the toxic people.

現在像煤氣燈效應、依附和情緒勞動這些詞，已經滲透到社交詞彙裡，讓大家都有藉口可以擺脫有毒的人。

At the slightest hint of discomfort, conflict or disagreement.

只要有一點點不適、衝突或分歧。

People are literally slinging armchair diagnoses of narcissism, PTSD or sociopathy around like they're an Oprah themed popped open pinata, right?

人們真的像打開墨西哥紙紮人偶一樣，隨意地把隨意診斷的自戀、創傷後壓力症候群或反社會人格障礙掛在嘴邊，對吧？

And though this trend has its upsides, it encourages people to get help.

雖然這個趨勢有好的一面，鼓勵大家尋求幫助。

It gives them the tools to recognize patterns that aren't working for them.

讓他們有工具去辨識那些對自己無益的模式。

It provides language to more accurately communicate their feelings.

提供語言來更精確地表達自己的感受。

It also has a really stark downside, which is that this blunted len has warped our view of relationships.

它也有一個非常嚴重的缺點，就是這種鈍化扭曲了我們對人際關係的看法。

We're not seeing them as nuanced and complex dynamics that require an ongoing dialogue, but

我們不再將其視為需要持續對話的細膩複雜動態，而是

There has been so much rhetoric online lately that encourages disconnection over communication or language that insists your needs be placed above all else.

最近網路上充斥著鼓勵斷聯而非溝通的言論，或是堅持你的需求至上的語言。

And this kind of black and white thinking completely ignores that.

而這種非黑即白的思考方式完全忽略了這一點。

We live in a messy world and sometimes our relationships will require compromise.

我們活在一個混亂的世界，有時候人際關係需要妥協。

And I don't think you can go into any interpersonal dynamic expecting that your needs are gonna be met 100% of the time.

我認為你無法進入任何一段人際關係，卻期望你的需求能 100% 被滿足。

And because there's so much like Instagram therapy going around, I want to clarify my personal philosophy of what I believe our approach should be.

網路上充斥著很多像IG上的心理治療內容，所以我想釐清我個人認為我們應該採取的做法。

So I think you should put your own needs above other people's wants, but

我認為你應該把自己的需求放在別人的期望之上，但是

put other people's needs over your wants.

把別人的需求放在你的期望之上。

I think putting other people's needs over your own needs is at times necessary and it's also a very kind, loving sacrifice to make.

我覺得有時候把別人的需求放在你自己的需求之上是必要的，而且這也是一種非常善良、充滿愛的犧牲。

However, prior to putting your needs over other people's needs is also sometimes necessary and a kind, loving, protective thing to do.

然而，在把你的需求放在別人需求之上之前，有時候也是必要的，而且是一種善良、充滿愛的保護行為。

And this dance of deciding whose needs take priority, this is a case by case basis that should be balanced based on your best judgment.

而這種決定誰的需求優先的來回拉扯，是需要根據你的最佳判斷來權衡的個案處理。

Look, boundaries are meant to keep people in, not out.

聽著，界線是為了讓人們留在裡面，而不是擋在外面。

So communicate your feelings instead of avoiding conflict and being triggered.

所以請表達你的感受，而不是迴避衝突和被觸發。

Look, that's actually a gift to see what you need to work on not a way to censor other people.

聽著，這其實是個禮物，讓你看到自己需要改進的地方，而不是用來審查別人。

Like, yes, we should all be very considerate, but

沒錯，我們都應該很體貼，但是

if you're seeing triggers more in terms of censoring others rather than an opportunity for self exploration, you're doing yourself a huge disservice.

如果你把觸發點看成是審查別人，而不是自我探索的機會，那你就大錯特錯了。

All of these tools are meant to help us navigate relationship dynamics.

這些工具都是為了幫助我們處理人際關係的動態。

They're meant to help us repair inevitable ruptures.

它們是為了幫助我們修復不可避免的裂痕。

They're meant to protect our ability to remain engaged.

它們是為了保護我們能夠持續參與的能力。

But if you're using therapy speak as an excuse to ice people out, diagnose someone postmortem your relationship, or set rules for another person's behavior, you are misusing them in an attempt to justify your own victim mentality, insecurity, or ego.

但如果你把治療術語當作藉口來排斥別人、在關係結束後才診斷對方，或制定別人的行為規則，那你就是在濫用它們，試圖合理化自己的受害者心態、不安全感或自尊。

Like, we can't cherry pick our popular therapeutic concepts to support whatever our current state of mind is, because when we do, we're really just dismissing our own feelings.

我們不能挑選我們喜歡的治療概念來支持我們當下的心態，因為這麼做，我們其實只是在忽視自己的感受。

So if you say he is such a narcissist to lay blame on someone else, you're probably really avoiding I feel abandoned and discarded.

所以，如果你說他是個自戀者來怪罪別人，你可能其實是在逃避「我感到被拋棄和捨棄」。

If you say I'm setting a boundary when you're really stonewalling, you're probably just avoiding I feel unloved and a vulnerable conversation.

如果你說我是在設定界線，但你其實是在冷暴力，你可能只是在逃避「我感覺不被愛和脆弱的對話」。

If you say she's so toxic when you've never communicated how you felt, you're really just avoiding I feel hurt by this person.

如果你說她很有毒，但你從未溝通過你的感受，你其實只是在逃避「我對這個人感到受傷」。

And to say he's gaslighting me when he's just disagreeing or having a different memory of events, you're probably just really avoiding I don't feel heard.

而說他煤氣燈效應我，但其實他只是意見不同或對事件有不同記憶，你可能只是在逃避「我覺得沒被聽見」。

It's very possible to accept that a person has inflicted emotional pain without pathologizing their actions.

我們完全可以接受一個人造成了情緒上的痛苦，而不需要將他們的行為病態化。

And often when I hear people invoke therapy speak, especially outside of a professional setting, there's usually very little accountability and self reflection going on.

而且我常聽到人們引用治療術語，尤其是在非專業場合，通常很少有責任感和自我檢討。

And I also don't think we should minimize the experience of people who actually deal with narcissistic personality disorder, abuse, or gaslighting by throwing around these terms.

我也不認為我們應該輕描淡寫那些真正經歷自戀型人格障礙、虐待或煤氣燈效應的人的經歷，隨意使用這些詞彙。

Instead, identify your emotions, take the space to adequately describe them without using pop psychology or emotional shorthand, and

相反地，辨識你的情緒，花時間充分描述它們，不要使用流行心理學或情緒的簡稱，

Because what we're feeling is real, it just may not actually be trauma.

因為我們感受到的真實，只是它不一定是創傷。

Trauma is when you're in a mass shooting or you're being physically abused, or you witness suicide.

創傷是指你經歷了槍擊事件、遭受身體虐待，或目睹了自殺。

What we are experiencing instead, it may just be stressful and that's a good thing.

我們所經歷的，可能只是壓力，而這其實是件好事。

Like, why would you want to be traumatized, right?

像是，誰會想經歷創傷呢，對吧？

Like, if what we're going through is just stress, we don't need to bolster our language to elevate our experience by invoking the higher authority of therapy speak.

像是，如果我們經歷的只是壓力，我們就不需要用治療術語來抬高我們的經驗。

What we're experiencing is valid and legitimate, even when what we're experiencing is just hurt.

我們所經歷的都是真實且正當的，即使我們經歷的只是受傷。

Thank you to the patrons who supported today's video.

And as always, thank you to my biological father, my daddy, my big D, Squarespace, for sponsoring today's video.

一如往常，感謝我的親生父親、我的爸爸、我的大 D，Squarespace，贊助今天的影片。

Guys, if you aren't familiar with my big D yet, I don't know where you've been, but

各位，如果你們還不認識我的大 D，我真不知道你們在哪裡，但是

Squarespace is an all in one platform to build a gorgeous website, sell your products and engage your audience.

Squarespace 是一個一站式平臺，讓你建立超讚的網站、販售產品並與你的觀眾互動。

If you're like me and you don't know anything about how to code, Squarespace is great because they have these beautiful professional website templates that you use as a starting point, and

如果你跟我一樣，對程式碼一竅不通，Squarespace 會很棒，因為他們有這些專業漂亮的網站範本，你可以從那裡開始，然後

then you can customize them to fit your specific brand and aesthetic.

你就可以客製化它們，讓它們符合你的品牌和美學。

on the back end, it's just drag and drop and it's very easy and intuitive to build and just as easy to keep updated.

在後端，你只需要拖放，操作起來非常簡單直觀，而且更新也很輕鬆。

You can also create an online store and sell custom merch.

你也可以建立線上商店，販售客製化商品。

So for me, that's my online guidebook and how I do my inner work and accomplish my goals.

對我來說，這就是我的線上指南，我透過它來進行內在的自我探索並達成目標。

But for you, that may look like physical products, services or classes.

但對你來說，這可能像是實體商品、服務或課程。

Whatever it is, this creator economy is booming, baby.

無論是什麼，這個創作者經濟正在蓬勃發展，寶貝！

And we are all here to make money doing what we're passionate about.

我們都可以在這裡做著我們熱愛的事情來賺錢。

You can go to squarespace.com for a free trial and whenever you're ready to Launch, go to squarespace.com anna and use code Anna for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

你可以到 squarespace.com 試用，準備好上線時，就到 squarespace.com anna，輸入代碼 Anna，即可享有首購網站或網域 10% 的折扣。