Name: 為什麼當你有未解決的創傷時，愛會讓你感覺很艱難？ (Why Love Feels HARD When You Have Unresolved Trauma)
Uploaded: 2025-09-16T17:52:24.000Z
Duration: 5 min 2 s

情態助動詞 B1

Have you ever loved deeply, but still felt uneasy, like something was off or something might go wrong?

你是否曾經深愛過，但仍然感到不安，好像有什麼地方不對勁，或者有什麼地方可能會出錯？

Many people with unresolved trauma struggle with love, often without realizing it.

很多人的心理創傷未得到解決，常常在愛中掙扎而不自知。

但創傷並不總是你所想象的那樣。

It doesn't just apply to an abusive relationship or a near-death experience.

它不僅適用於虐待關係或瀕臨死亡的經歷。

Trauma can also mean emotional neglect, being constantly criticized, or growing up in a chaotic household.

創傷也可能意味著情感上的忽視、不斷受到責備或在混亂的家庭中長大。

So why does this hidden trauma shape the way we love?

那麼，為什麼這種隱藏的創傷會影響我們的愛呢？

Trauma doesn't just teach you to protect yourself.

創傷不僅教會你如何保護自己。

It can quietly rewrite your idea of what love is and how safe you're allowed to feel in it.

它能悄無聲息地改寫你對愛的理解，以及你在愛中的安全感。

Healing often teaches us to stay calm, to breathe, to ground, to not react impulsively.

治療常常教會我們保持冷靜、呼吸、腳踏實地、不衝動。

But for trauma survivors, calm can blur into emotional numbness, detachment, and dissociation.

但對於創傷倖存者來說，平靜可能會變成情感麻木、疏離和解離。

So next time you're feeling overwhelmed by love, ask yourself, am I truly calm or am I shut down?

所以，下次當你被愛衝昏頭腦時，問問自己，我是真的平靜，還是在閉目養神？

你把自己的痛苦過於理智化了。

Emotionally intelligent people often explain their trauma with clarity.

情商高的人往往能清晰地解釋自己的創傷。

This behavior comes from childhood neglect.

I know this trigger is about my past, not my partner.

我知道這個觸發點是關於我的過去，而不是我的伴侶。

And this insight is powerful, but it can also become a shield.

這種洞察力是強大的，但也可能成為擋箭牌。

If you've learned to analyze your pain instead of feeling it, you might bypass the raw, unfiltered emotional work that intimacy demands.

如果你學會了分析自己的痛苦，而不是去感受它，那麼你可能會繞過親密關係所要求的原始、不加過濾的情感工作。

Knowing why you hurt is powerful, but love doesn't just need your insight.

瞭解自己受傷的原因固然重要，但愛不僅僅需要你的洞察力。

And that means letting someone see you unarmored, unpolished, and as you are.

這就意味著，要讓別人看到你不加修飾、不加修飾、原汁原味的一面。

So the next time someone you love asks you to open up, think about whether you're really sharing your feelings or just narrating them.

是以，下次當你愛的人要求你敞開心扉時，請想一想你是真的在分享自己的感受，還是隻是在敘述自己的感受。

Many trauma survivors have learned to be givers.

You anticipate needs, you hold space, you show up.

你預測需求，你保留空間，你現身說法。

But when someone turns toward you with real care, softness, and presence, you tense up.

但是，當有人帶著真正的關懷、柔軟和存在轉向你時，你就會緊張起來。

Because receiving requires vulnerability.

It asks you to let someone witness the parts of you that don't perform, fix, or earn.

它要求你讓別人見證你身上那些沒有表現、沒有修復或沒有賺到錢的部分。

And if you were taught that your needs were inconvenient, messy, or unsafe, this can feel deeply exposing.

如果你曾被教導說你的需求是不方便的、混亂的或不安全的，這可能會讓你感到深深的暴露。

It's not that you don't want love, it's that you're terrified of what it could mean to fully accept it.

不是你不想要愛，而是你害怕完全接受愛意味著什麼。

You overvalue control and undervalue vulnerability.

你高估了控制力，低估了脆弱性。

Trauma makes you crave control, predictability, safety.

創傷讓你渴望控制、可預測性和安全。

And those things are essential in love, but real intimacy also asks you to take emotional risk.

這些都是愛情中必不可少的，但真正的親密關係也要求你承擔情感風險。

Saying I love you first, asking for more, letting someone close enough to hurt you.

先說 "我愛你"，要求更多，讓別人靠近到足以傷害你。

If your healing has been focused on boundaries, routines, and inner peace, you might forget that love also requires aliveness.

如果你的療愈一直專注於界限、常規和內心的平靜，你可能會忘記愛也需要活力。

Not chaos, not trauma reenactment, but the courage to be surprised, to be changed, to be moved.

不是混亂，不是創傷重現，而是有勇氣去驚訝、去改變、去感動。

Some trauma survivors struggle with love, not because they haven't healed, but because they haven't grieved fully.

有些創傷倖存者在愛中掙扎，不是因為他們還沒有痊癒，而是因為他們還沒有完全悲傷。

Grief for the parent who couldn't protect you.

Grief for the version of you who kept hoping.

為一直抱有希望的你感到悲痛。

Grief for the people who betrayed your trust.

Unfinished grief makes it hard to fully show up in the present.

未盡的悲傷讓人很難完全展現在當下。

You might sabotage good love, not because you don't want it, but because part of you is still loyal to what you lost.

你可能會破壞美好的愛情，不是因為你不想要，而是因為你的一部分仍然忠於你失去的東西。

There's a guilt in moving on, in letting joy in, in becoming someone new.

在繼續前進、讓快樂融入、成為新人的過程中，會有一種負罪感。

It's about making peace with who you were before it found you.

這就是要與它找到你之前的你和解。

Now, this isn't to say that you need to completely heal from your trauma before you can love or be loved.

現在，這並不是說你需要完全治癒創傷，然後才能去愛或被愛。

It only means noticing your reactions with compassion instead of shame, letting yourself experience connection instead of just analyzing it, and slowly learning how to stay grounded in your body when intimacy stirs up old fears.

這隻意味著用同情心而不是羞恥心去注意自己的反應，讓自己體驗聯繫而不是一味地分析，慢慢學會如何在親密關係激起舊有恐懼時保持身體的踏實。

So when did you first realize that your past was showing up in your relationships?

那麼，你是什麼時候開始意識到你的過去在你的人際關係中顯現出來的呢？

And what's something love has taught you about your healing?

Comment your thoughts down below, and if this resonated with you, share this video to help more people on their healing journey too.

請在下方評論您的想法，如果您對此有共鳴，請分享這段視頻，幫助更多的人踏上康復之旅。

Don't forget to like and subscribe for more insightful content.

別忘了點贊和訂閱，獲取更多有深度的內容。

Thank you for watching, and thank you for being here.

感謝您的收看，感謝您的光臨。