Name: 5 個用詞小改變，讓你更會溝通、也更不內耗！ (These small word shifts change how people respond to you.)
Uploaded: 2026-01-23T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 7 min 21 s

情態助動詞 A2

It can persuade and inspire and help us get ahead.

它可以說服人、啟發人，也能幫助我們更上一層樓。

But at the same time, it can really work against us.

但同時，它也可能真的對我們不利。

It can close doors, cause a whole bunch of miscommunications, and

它可能關上機會之門，造成大量誤解，

even hurt the way that we think about ourselves.

甚至傷害我們看待自己的方式。

So today, I wanted to talk about how a few magic words or small shifts in language can really help us become better communicators

所以今天，我想聊聊一些「魔法用語」，或語言上的小小轉換，如何幫助我們成為更好的溝通者，

and move closer towards the life that we want.

And a lot of them are actually beautifully captured in a book I recently listened to called Magic Words by Jonah Berger.

其中很多觀點，其實都被我最近聽的一本書《Magic Words》，作者 Jonah Berger，完美地整理出來了。

So there was this nursery classroom in California where researchers tried something interesting.

加州有一間幼兒園教室，研究人員做了一個很有趣的實驗。

They asked one group of preschoolers to help clean up.

他們請一組學齡前的孩子幫忙收拾。

And then they asked the other group to be helpers and clean up.

而另一組孩子，則是被請求「當小幫手」來一起收拾。

But that tiny little shift in wording made a huge difference.

但就只是這麼小小的用詞差異，卻造成了巨大的不同。

From a verb "to help" to a noun "a helper".

從動詞「幫忙」，變成名詞「幫手」。

The group of kids that were asked to be helpers actually helped significantly more,

被稱為「幫手」的那群孩子，實際上幫忙的次數明顯更多，

and they were more likely to help again later.

因為「幫忙」這個動詞，只是一個行為。

但「幫手」這個名詞，是一種身分。

而身分認同，是非常有力量的。

Because when you feel like it's part of who you are, you don't feel like you have to force it.

因為當你覺得那是自己的一部分時，你不會覺得是在勉強自己。

你只是自然地做出符合這個身分的行為。

It also works so well in how we connect with other people.

這個方法在人際互動中也非常好用。

Essentially, if you and someone else aren't seeing eye to eye,

基本上，如果你和某個人意見不合、無法達成共識，

instead of saying something like, "Can you be more understanding?"

與其說：「你可以再體諒一點嗎？」

"You've always been such an understanding person. Can we talk about this?"

「你一直都是一個很體貼的人，我們可以聊聊這件事嗎？」

It's less criticism and it's more like an invitation for them to show up as their best self.

這樣聽起來比較不像批評，而更像是一個邀請，邀請對方展現他們最好的一面。

And people, most people want to live up to that positive version of themselves.

而大多數人，其實都很想活出那個正面的自己。

2. Shift away from first-person language.

Sometimes the way we say things can build walls without us meaning to.

有時候，我們說話的方式，會在無意間築起一道牆。

Whether this is friends, family, partner, it doesn't matter.

不論是朋友、家人或伴侶，其實都一樣。

If things are getting heated or emotional and you're using you or I, which is first-person language,

當情緒變得激動，而你一直使用「你」或「我」這類第一人稱時，

it can accidentally sound like blame, even if that wasn't our intention.

即使不是本意，也很容易聽起來像是在指責。

"You never have time for me," it can come across as an accusation.

「你從來都沒時間陪我。」這句話很容易被聽成一種指控。

"It feels like we haven't had much time together lately.

「感覺我們最近好像比較少相處。」

The "you" and "I" have disappeared, and so does the blame.

「你」和「我」消失了，責怪也跟著消失。

It now focuses on the situation instead of the person.

And so it makes it feel a lot more caring and less confrontational.

整體聽起來就更關心人，也更不具對立性。

And you can use this little language shift when you're talking to yourself as well.

這個語言轉換，也同樣適用在你對自己說話的時候。

If you were to say, "I'm so bad at this," the "I" makes it personal.

如果你對自己說：「我真的很不擅長這個。」這個「我」會讓事情變得很個人化。

It turns one moment of frustration into self-judgment.

把一個挫折瞬間變成自我批判。

If you were instead to say, though, "This isn't going the way it's supposed to."

但如果你改說：「事情好像沒有照預期進行。」

How the focus moves from "I'm the problem" to "the situation is the problem".

焦點從「我是問題」轉成「情況是問題」。

And when the situation is the problem, we can ask ourselves, you know, how can I fix this?

而當問題是情況時，我們就能問：那我可以怎麼調整？

The word "should," I've always felt like, is just pressure.

我一直覺得，「should」這個字，本身就帶著壓力。

It carries with it the sense of like guilt and obligation.

Like there's only one right answer and you've been getting it wrong.

好像只有一個正確答案，而你一直做錯。

Every time we say the word should, we create a gap between who we are and who we think we're supposed to be.

每一次說 should，我們都在自己與理想中的自己之間，製造一道落差。

But if we were to change that one word instead to "could," the energy completely changes.

但如果改成 could，整個能量就不一樣了。

I could make something nourishing for dinner.

I could spend a few minutes working on my project.

我可以花幾分鐘處理我的專案。

It shifts our mindset from guilt to choice, from "I have to" to "I get to."

它把心態從內疚轉成選擇，從「我非得做」變成「我願意做」。

That using high pressure or controlling language words like you must, you have to, you should.

使用高壓、控制型語言，例如 must、have to、should，

It triggers something that psychologists call psychological reactance, which is essentially our brain saying, "Nope, I don't want to do that."

這會引發心理學所說的「心理反抗」，也就是大腦在說：「不，我不想。」

Because our freedom feels threatened and we don't like that.

因為我們的自由感受到威脅，而我們不喜歡那樣。

But now, when the same message is phrased in a more open way —

但當同樣的訊息改用更開放的方式表達時——

you could, you might consider, one option is to —

例如：你可以、你可以考慮、其中一個選項是——

people become far more receptive, because you're supporting their autonomy.

人們就會更容易接受，因為你是在支持他們的自主性。

So this works anytime you're talking to other people or even to yourself.

這不管是對別人，還是對自己，都一樣適用。

How many times have you heard something like,

It's like the moment we hear the word "but", everything that came before it disappears.

一聽到「but」，前面的稱讚好像瞬間被刪掉了。

It's like hitting the delete button on the compliment.

So instead of using "but", try using "and".

所以與其用 but，不如試試用 and。

I've always felt that "and" is a bridge instead of a wall.

我一直覺得，and 是橋樑，不是高牆。

It connects ideas instead of canceling them out.

它連結想法，而不是否定前面的內容。

For example, if you were to say, "You're doing great, but here's what to fix."

例如，比起說：「你做得很好，但這裡要改。」

You could instead say, "You're doing great. And here's what could make it even better."

你可以說：「你做得很好，而且這樣做會讓它更好。」

It goes from being corrective to collaborative.

And we can also use that whenever we're talking to ourselves.

這同樣也適用在你對自己說話時。

You know, instead of "I did a lot, but I could have done more,"

與其說：「我做了很多，但還可以做更多。」

you could try, "Yeah, I did a lot, and I can keep improving."

不如說：「我真的做了不少，而且我還能繼續進步。」

"But" creates tension; "and" builds connection.

「But」製造張力，「and」建立連結。

這一點聽起來也許很小、很瑣碎，

but it can actually be really helpful, which is just to add the word "because".

但其實非常有幫助，那就是加上「因為」。

There's a very well-known psychology experiment where researchers tested what would happen if they approached people who are about to use the photocopier,

有一個非常知名的心理學實驗，研究人員觀察如果他們去找正要使用影印機的人，

字幕列表影片播放

5 個用詞小改變，讓你更會溝通、也更不內耗！ (These small word shifts change how people respond to you.)

essentially

situation

compliment

improve