Name: 童年塑造自尊的 5 種令人驚訝的方式 (5 Surprising Ways Childhood Shapes Your Self Esteem)
Uploaded: 2025-07-28T18:56:57.000Z
Duration: 5 min 7 s

Self-esteem is central to everything in your life.

反身代名詞

The way we see ourselves influences our behaviors and decisions.

我們看待自己的方式會影響我們的行為和決定。

情態助動詞 B1

Parents will often try their best to foster a good and healthy sense of self-esteem in their children, but some may not be mindful of the mistakes they're making and how it negatively affects their children.

父母通常會盡力培養孩子良好而健康的自尊心，但有些父母可能並沒有意識到他們正在犯下的錯誤以及這些錯誤對孩子造成的負面影響。

It should come as no surprise then that according to psychiatrist, Dr. Neil Burton, low self-esteem often results from traumatic childhood experiences.

精神科醫生尼爾-伯頓（Neil Burton）博士認為，自卑往往源於童年的創傷經歷，這一點不足為奇。

With that said, here are five telltale signs that your self-esteem was destroyed in childhood according to experts.

專家指出，以下五個跡象表明，你的自尊心在童年時期就已受到破壞。

You constantly compare yourself to the people around you and feel like you'll never measure up to them.

你總是拿自己和周圍的人比較，覺得自己永遠比不上他們。

This is a habit you most likely picked up from childhood when your parents compared you to your siblings or other children your age, saying things like, why can't you be more like so-and-so?

這很可能是你從小養成的習慣，當時你的父母拿你和兄弟姐妹或其他同齡孩子比較，說諸如 "你為什麼不能像某某一樣？

According to licensed mental health counselor, Harsha G.

Ramaya, most parents do this because they wanna push their kids to excel and give them an example to aspire to, but it often just ends up hurting their self-esteem and making them more competitive and insecure of other people's accomplishments.

拉瑪雅，大多數父母這樣做是因為他們想促使自己的孩子出類拔萃，給他們樹立一個榜樣，但這樣做往往只會傷害他們的自尊心，讓他們變得更加爭強好勝，對別人的成就缺乏安全感。

This is because growing up, children need a lot of positive attention and validation.

這是因為在成長過程中，孩子們需要很多積極的關注和肯定。

And if you were constantly deprived of that, then it most likely destroyed your self-esteem.

如果你經常被剝奪這種權利，那麼它很可能會摧毀你的自尊。

Criticized for abilities or characteristics.

If your self-talk is largely negative, it's probably internalized from the negative feedback you received from your parents as a child.

如果你的自我調侃在很大程度上是負面的，那很可能是你小時候從父母那裡得到的負面反饋的內化。

Then if you constantly criticize yourself for your abilities and characteristics, which are things about yourself you can't change or control, then it'll definitely take an emotional toll on you, says licensed clinical social worker and child development specialist, Claire Lerner.

持證臨床社會工作者兼兒童發展專家克萊爾-勒納說，如果你經常責備自己的能力和特點，而這些都是你無法改變或控制的，那麼這肯定會對你的情緒造成影響。

Continuing to do so can also make a person feel insignificant, unappreciated, and disconnected with who they are.

繼續這樣做還會讓人覺得自己渺小、不受重視，與自己的身份脫節。

A better strategy, Lerner recommends, could be to build your self-esteem by embracing the things that make you unique, focusing on your personal strengths and developing your own voice and identity.

勒納建議，更好的策略可以是通過擁抱讓你與眾不同的事物、關注你的個人優勢、發展你自己的聲音和身份來建立你的自尊。

Some parents believe that they need their children to mindlessly conform to all of their expectations and obey everything they say.

有些父母認為，他們需要孩子無意識地順從他們的所有期望，服從他們所說的一切。

Otherwise, it's a grave sign of disrespect.

But having such strict and authoritarian parents often takes away from a child's sense of independence and creates a stressful environment for them growing up.

但是，父母的嚴厲和專制往往會剝奪孩子的獨立意識，給他們的成長環境造成壓力。

According to an article published by the Michigan State University, this parenting style tends to worsen behavioral problems and lead children to becoming either more aggressive or submissive, socially inept, indecisive, and have poor self-esteem.

密歇根州立大學發表的一篇文章指出，這種養育方式往往會加重行為問題，導致孩子變得更具攻擊性或更加順從、不善於社交、優柔寡斷、自尊心差。

Are you terrified of making even the tiniest mistake?

您是否害怕犯哪怕是最微小的錯誤？

Do you instinctively lie or make excuses to try to get out of it?

你會本能地撒謊或找藉口試圖擺脫困境嗎？

If so, it's likely that you do this as a coping mechanism from the excessive scolding you received from your parents as a child over any mistake you made.

如果是這樣，那很可能是你小時候因為犯錯而遭到父母過度責罵時的一種應對機制。

Making mistakes is an integral part of a child's learning and growth, explains developmental psychologist, Dr. Marilyn Price Mitchell.

發展心理學家瑪麗蓮-普萊斯-米切爾博士解釋說，犯錯誤是孩子學習和成長過程中不可或缺的一部分。

So when children are given the freedom to do this, they aren't able to test their resilience and build their self-esteem based on their ability to bounce back and learn from their failures.

是以，當孩子們有了這樣做的自由時，他們就無法測試自己的抗挫折能力，也無法根據自己的反彈能力和從失敗中吸取教訓的能力來建立自己的自尊。

You are essentially raised to believe that nothing short of absolute perfection is expected of you, which leads you to becoming extremely anxious, risk-averse, and have no sense of initiative or openness to experience.

從根本上說，你從小就被灌輸了這樣的思想：沒有什麼比絕對的完美更值得期待了，這導致你變得極度焦慮、厭惡風險、沒有主動意識或對經驗持開放態度。

Last but certainly not least, if you're afraid to share your goals with other people or dream up a big future for yourself, then that's a red flag that your self-esteem was most likely destroyed during childhood.

最後但並非最不重要的一點是，如果你害怕與他人分享自己的目標，或為自己憧憬一個遠大的未來，那麼這就說明你的自尊心很可能在童年時期就已經被摧毀了。

Because childhood is when we learn to dream and aspire.

因為童年是我們學會夢想和嚮往的時候。

If you grew up with parents who ridiculed, invalidated, or chastised you for it, saying your dreams were unrealistic, impractical, or irrelevant, then you most likely felt that you needed to settle for the safe and ordinary life your parents wanted for you.

如果在你成長的過程中，你的父母嘲笑、否定或責備你的夢想，說你的夢想不切實際、不切實際或無關緊要，那麼你很可能會覺得你需要滿足於父母希望你過的安全而平凡的生活。

Studies such as the one by Wendy Gralnick in 2016, professor of psychology at Clark University, have shown that a person's success is strongly linked with the time, support, and encouragement their parents gave them, which made them feel confident in themselves and internally motivated to succeed.

克拉克大學心理學教授溫迪-格拉尼克（Wendy Gralnick）2016年的研究等表明，一個人的成功與父母給予他們的時間、支持和鼓勵密切相關，這讓他們對自己充滿信心，併產生了成功的內在動力。

Do you relate to any of the things we've talked about here?

你是否與我們在這裡談到的任何事情有關？

Parents aren't trusted with their child's precious sense of being.

父母不被信任，他們不知道孩子寶貴的存在感。

Whether they intentionally or unintentionally hurt your self-esteem, know that it's not your fault and you did nothing to deserve it.

無論他們是有意還是無意地傷害了你的自尊，你都要知道這不是你的錯，你也沒有做任何罪有應得的事。

Healing your inner child won't be easy, says psychiatrist Dr. Neil Burton, but there are simple ways you can start, such as listening to your strengths and achievements, practicing positive thinking and positive self-talk, making a habit of things that make you feel good, like dressing well, eating healthy, and exercising, doing more of the things that you enjoy and are passionate about, and surround yourself with supportive people.

精神病學家尼爾-伯頓（Neil Burton）博士說，治癒你的內在小孩並不容易，但你可以從一些簡單的方法開始，比如傾聽自己的長處和成就，練習正面思考和積極的自我對話，養成讓自己感覺良好的習慣，比如穿得好，吃得健康，鍛鍊身體，多做自己喜歡和熱衷的事情，以及與支持你的人為伍。

So what are some ways you plan on building your self-esteem back up?

那麼，您打算用什麼方法來重新樹立自尊呢？

Let us know in the comments down below and leave some encouragement for anyone else who may be feeling the same way.

請在下面的評論中告訴我們，並給其他有同樣感受的人一些鼓勵。