Name: 不要愛上的人：一份清單 (People not to fall in love with: a checklist)
Uploaded: 2025-07-21T18:13:27.000Z
Duration: 3 min 44 s

程度副詞

It may sound ungenerous to throw the emphasis on the negative, but we can fairly say that people who are good at love know, first and foremost, who not to fall in love with. While they may have all sorts of friends and a wide sympathy for the vagaries of being human, when it comes to who they opt to tie themselves to, this is some of what they will avoid with determination. People who have no sense of how difficult they are to live with. People with a heightened belief in their infallibility. People who will, when something is pointed out to them, quickly choose the occasion to simultaneously inform you that it's not as though you're perfect either. People who will label any criticism of them, however sensitively delivered, as rude or offensive and contrary to the rules of true love as they define these. People who deliberately drive you to the edge of frustration, then turn and say, why are you getting cross so suddenly? People who smile and say, I get it completely now, I'm going to change, and then go and do whatever it was all over again a few days later. People who combine an exquisite talent for upset with an even greater talent for sentimental apology. People who will flirt with others, then call it only a bit of fun and label you a prude for minding. People who will mess up your house and call you anal. People who will prioritise time with their friends over time with you and then call you controlling. People who tell you you're imagining things a lot. People who harbour a background grudge against your gender. People who are furious with a parent and don't realise they are. People who can't forgive anyone who thinks better of them than they think of themselves. People who claim desperately to want a relationship but are inwardly so committed to distrust, isolation and self-hatred that they aren't in any position really to have one and yet don't know this of themselves. People who principally associate love with the pleasant feelings they register when you are nice to them. People who don't take your love as a substantial gift you choose to bestow every day and could take elsewhere.

把重點放在消極方面聽起來可能不近人情，但我們可以公平地說，善於戀愛的人首先知道不應該愛上誰。雖然他們可能會有各種各樣的朋友，也會對變幻莫測的人性抱有廣泛的同情，但在選擇與誰相愛時，他們會堅決避免與這樣的人相愛。不知道自己有多難相處的人。堅信自己無懈可擊的人。當有人指出他們的缺點時，他們會迅速選擇時機，同時告訴你，你也並非完美無缺。他們會把任何對他們的責備，無論多麼敏感，都說成是粗魯或冒犯，違背了他們定義的真愛規則。他們故意把你逼到沮喪的邊緣，然後轉過身說，你怎麼突然生氣了？他們會微笑著說，我現在完全明白了

轉承詞

People who don't realise your time is very precious. People who are far too in pain to know how to want the best for you. People who refuse to do the necessary work. Let's remember, the people in the list above comprise some of the most charming, beautiful, vivacious, seductive characters on the planet. But their traits also mean that you will be headed for substantial challenges in any extended involvement with them. It may take years to work out that they use words like love without knowing what they should entail or that they have systematically shredded your confidence in your judgement in order to avoid acknowledging a raft of their own difficulties. Lovers who know how to avoid these types are not cleverer than the rest of us. They have just had the good fortune to be looked after early on by people who were tender and sweet and therefore now know how to associate relationships with fulfilment rather than frustration. Through immense good luck, they simply have no interest in suffering.

他們不知道你的時間非常寶貴。他們太痛苦，不知道如何為你爭取最大利益。拒絕做必要工作的人。讓我們記住，上述名單中的人都是這個星球上最迷人、最美麗、最活潑、最有誘惑力的人物。但他們的特質也意味著，你與他們的任何長期交往都將面臨巨大的挑戰。你可能要花很多年的時間才能發現，他們在使用 "愛 "這樣的字眼時，根本不知道這些字眼應該包含什麼含義，或者他們為了避免承認自己的一系列困難，而有計劃地打擊你對自己判斷力的信心。知道如何避免這些類型的戀人並不比我們其他人聰明。他們只是幸運地在早期得到了溫柔體貼的人的照顧，是以現

情態助動詞 B1

They have, via experience, learnt one of life's most important lessons, that the point of a relationship is to be mutually delighted by another person – as we may eventually realise we aren't alive long enough for anything else.

他們通過自己的經歷學到了人生最重要的一課，那就是戀愛的意義在於彼此愉悅--因為我們最終可能會意識到，我們活得不夠久，無法再做其他事情。