Name: 為什麼我們會破壞自己的幸福？ (Why We Sabotage Our Own Happiness)
Uploaded: 2025-07-17T09:13:02.000Z
Duration: 3 min 11 s

For some of us, happiness and excitement never seem to last for very long.

對我們中的一些人來說，幸福和興奮似乎從未持續過很長時間。

情態副詞

Every time we finally take pride in ourselves and develop a confidence about the future, something adverse seems to happen within a relatively short order.

每當我們終於為自己感到自豪並對未來充滿信心時，一些不利的事情似乎就會在相對較短的時間內發生。

情態助動詞 B1

It might be something that we find ourselves actively doing that collapses our spirits, or we start to worry acutely about a matter that suddenly enters our minds, or an incident occurs from out of the blue that unsettles us.

這可能是我們發現自己主動做了一些讓我們精神崩潰的事情，也可能是我們開始對突然闖入我們腦海的某件事情憂心忡忡，還可能是突然發生的某件事情讓我們感到不安。

Maybe we read something online that seems mean-minded and worrying, or we catch sight of ourselves in the mirror and feel repulsed, or we suddenly think of something we said or did seven and a half years ago that may have been misinterpreted and misconstrued and start to panic.

也許我們在網上讀到了一些看似刻薄和令人擔憂的東西，或者我們看到了鏡子中的自己而感到厭惡，或者我們突然想到了七年半前我們說過或做過的一些事情，而這些事情可能被誤解和曲解了，於是我們開始恐慌。

Or, by some odd impulse that we really don't understand and so can't resist, we do something foolish and contrary to our normal values which brings on guilt and shame.

或者，由於某種我們無法理解、無法抗拒的奇怪衝動，我們做了一些愚蠢的、違揹我們正常價值觀的事情，從而帶來內疚和羞愧。

And as a result, we are brought back down to earth fairly sharply.

結果，我們又被猛地拉回地面。

We end up, only hours or days after the good mood began, in a familiar place of fear, anxiety and disappointment.

在好心情開始的幾個小時或幾天後，我們就會陷入熟悉的恐懼、焦慮和失望之中。

It can be as if, without quite realising it, we are operating under some sort of secret law.

在不知不覺中，我們就好像在按照某種祕密法則行事。

Thou shalt never live life too much to the full.

你永遠不要把生活過得太充實。

Where might such perverse and sad edicts have come from?

這些反常而可悲的法令從何而來？

It may be the result of growing up in an environment where our flourishing was somehow deemed unwelcome and provocative.

這可能是我們成長的環境造成的，在這樣的環境中，我們的蓬勃發展在某種程度上被認為是不受歡迎和具有挑釁性的。

Had we ever been too conspicuously happy, we might have upset a parent who was battling a sense of despair or resignation and was furious at the deprivations they had once had to endure.

如果我們曾經過於明顯地快樂過，我們可能會讓正在與絕望或不甘作鬥爭的父母感到不安，他們會對曾經不得不忍受的匱乏感到憤怒。

We may have grown up to associate a low, fearful mood with safety.

在我們的成長過程中，我們可能會把低沉、恐懼的情緒與安全聯繫在一起。

Sadness means you don't get attacked, it doesn't provoke envy, it keeps you out of trouble.

悲傷意味著你不會受到攻擊，不會引起嫉妒，不會給你帶來麻煩。

Whenever happiness does seem on the cards, a part of us will hence be very keen to return us to a lower altitude as soon as possible.

是以，每當幸福來臨的時候，我們中的一部分人就會非常渴望讓我們儘快回到一個較低的高度。

To achieve our ends, there may be some favourite websites we like to go to that confirm that we are unattractive or strange or in danger.

為了達到我們的目的，可能會有一些我們喜歡去的網站，這些網站會證實我們沒有吸引力，或者很奇怪，或者有危險。

We may provoke arguments, insults or offence.

我們可能會引發爭論、侮辱或冒犯。

We have a repertoire of secret skills to wipe the smile off our own faces.

我們有一套祕技，可以擦去自己臉上的笑容。

Were any of this to ring bells, we should ask ourselves, what incentives against happiness and self-satisfaction might there have been in our early lives?

我們應該捫心自問，在我們早期的生活中，會有哪些不利於幸福和自我滿足的誘因呢？

Was there a conflict between our flourishing and someone else's sense of wellbeing?

我們的繁榮與他人的幸福感之間是否存在衝突？

Then we need to reassure the frightened child in us that the person who demanded our sadness as a price for their protection is no longer in authority over us.

然後，我們需要安撫內心受驚的孩子，讓他相信，那個要求我們以悲傷作為保護他們的代價的人，已經不再是我們的權威了。

We don't have to apologise for being attractive or intelligent or gifted or within reach of stability, sanity, potency and good spirits.

我們不必為自己的魅力、智慧、天賦或穩定、理智、活力和良好的精神狀態而道歉。