Name: 5 個依戀創傷後的約會綠旗 (5 Dating Green Flags After Attachment Trauma)
Uploaded: 2025-06-17T18:24:39.000Z
Duration: 8 min 28 s

基礎被動語態

Love isn't supposed to feel like walking on eggshells.

愛不應該讓人感覺像在蛋殼上行走。

But when you've grown up with neglect, criticism, or instability, that's what it becomes.

但當你在被忽視、責備或不穩定的環境中長大時，就會變成這樣。

反身代名詞

You learn to expect love to hurt, to second guess your worth, to brace yourself for the moment they leave, and then someone different comes along.

你學會了期待愛情的傷害，學會了猜測自己的價值，學會了為他們離開的那一刻做好準備，然後一個不同的人出現了。

A part of you wants to believe it, but another part whispers, what if this is just another illusion?

你的一部分願意相信它，但另一部分卻在嘀咕：如果這只是另一個幻覺呢？

Many of you related to our previous video, signs of attachment trauma, not love, and someone asked, how can they find real love?

很多人對我們之前的視頻 "依戀創傷的跡象，而不是愛 "感興趣，有人問，他們怎樣才能找到真正的愛？

這就是我們製作這段視頻的原因。

If you've been through attachment trauma, knowing who's truly safe to love can heal impossible.

如果你經歷過依戀創傷，那麼知道誰是真正安全的愛，就能治癒你不可能治癒的創傷。

But there are signs, green flags, that show you when someone is different.

但是，當一個人與眾不同時，會有一些徵兆、綠旗向你展示。

In this video, we'll go through five of them, so you can recognize the kind of love that won't break you, but help you heal.

在本視頻中，我們將介紹其中的五種，這樣你就能認識到那種不會讓你崩潰，反而會幫助你癒合的愛。

I know, hard to believe, but you're gonna have to.

我知道，很難相信，但你必須相信。

好吧，那麼第一點，慢慢來，穩紮穩打。

When you've experienced attachment trauma, trust and emotional safety don't come easily.

當你經歷過依戀創傷時，信任和情感安全並不容易獲得。

Clinical psychologist Dr. Sandra Cohen explains that after trauma, you might interpret ordinary situations as signs of betrayal, feel unheard, or become especially sensitive to neglect or rejection.

臨床心理學家桑德拉-科恩博士（Dr. Sandra Cohen）解釋說，創傷後，你可能會把普通的情況解釋為背叛的跡象，感覺自己被忽視了，或者對被忽視或被拒絕變得特別敏感。

A good partner understands that your healing takes time, and they're not in a rush.

好的伴侶明白你的康復需要時間，他們不會急於求成。

For example, you had a disagreement with them, and your thoughts are spinning, and you ask, are we okay?

例如，你與他們發生了分歧，你的思緒飛轉，你會問，我們還好嗎？

For what feels like the hundredth time, instead of reacting with frustration, they meet you with a calm reassurance.

這好像是第一百次了，他們沒有做出沮喪的反應，而是平靜地安慰你。

If you pull back because you're overwhelmed, they don't push.

如果你因為不堪重負而退縮，他們就不會推你。

They give you space, while making it clear that they're here when you're ready.

他們給你空間，同時明確表示，當你準備好時，他們就在這裡。

On days when your insecurities bubble up, they remind you that it's okay to feel this way, and that you're not too much for them.

在你缺乏安全感的日子裡，他們會提醒你，有這種感覺沒關係，你對他們來說並不過分。

Their patience is steady, showing you it's safe to trust again.

他們的耐心是穩定的，向你展示重新信任是安全的。

According to a clinical psychologist, Dr. Rebecca Probst, early trauma or unsupportive parenting might make you afraid of other people's anger, making you withdraw or freeze in fear.

根據臨床心理學家麗貝卡-普羅普斯特博士的說法，早期的創傷或不支持的養育方式可能會讓你害怕別人的憤怒，使你在恐懼中退縮或凍結。

Anger can be terrifying if you've seen it weaponized, used to hurt, punish, or control.

如果你見過憤怒被武器化，被用來傷害、懲罰或控制，那麼憤怒就會讓你感到恐懼。

In a healthy relationship, anger looks entirely different.

在健康的關係中，憤怒看起來完全不同。

想象一下你的伴侶生氣的樣子。

Instead of yelling or slamming doors, they pause and say, I need a minute to collect my thoughts.

他們不會大喊大叫或摔門而出，而是停下來說：我需要一分鐘來整理思緒。

No threats, no guilt trips, no dragging up old wounds.

沒有威脅，沒有內疚，沒有舊傷復發。

And if they slip up and say something unkind, they take responsibility.

如果他們失言，說了一些不友善的話，他們會承擔責任。

Healthy anger is about accountability and repair, not blame or destruction.

健康的憤怒是問責和修復，而不是指責或破壞。

It leaves you feeling safe, not walking on eggshells.

它讓你感到安全，不再提心吊膽。

Do you often care about pleasing others even at the expense of your own needs and wishes?

你是否經常在意取悅他人，甚至不惜犧牲自己的需求和願望？

A trauma-informed psychotherapist, Lauren Lui, calls people-pleasing a survival mechanism rooted in attachment trauma.

創傷心理治療師勞倫-呂（Lauren Lui）稱 "取悅他人 "是一種源於依戀創傷的生存機制。

It's so easy to lose yourself in relationships when this type of trauma tells you that keeping the peace means shrinking who you are.

當這種創傷告訴你，保持和平意味著縮小你的自我時，你很容易在人際關係中迷失自我。

But a healthy partner doesn't want you to disappear.

但健康的伴侶並不希望你消失。

You've always wanted to try an art class or join the gym, but you've been hesitating.

你一直想嘗試藝術課程或加入健身房，但一直猶豫不決。

When you tell your partner, they light up.

當你告訴你的伴侶時，他們會眼前一亮。

They encourage your dreams, friendships, and personal growth, not just for you, but because they love seeing you fulfilled.

他們鼓勵你的夢想、友誼和個人成長，不僅僅是為了你，而是因為他們喜歡看到你實現夢想。

They don't make your independence feel like a threat.

他們不會讓你覺得獨立是一種威脅。

They celebrate it as part of who you are.

他們將此作為你的一部分來慶祝。

If setting boundaries feels impossible, you're not alone.

如果你覺得設置界限是不可能的，那麼你並不孤單。

Many of us have learned that saying no can lead to rejection or conflict, especially when you've been through attachment trauma.

我們很多人都知道，說 "不 "可能會導致拒絕或衝突，尤其是當你經歷過依戀創傷時。

As clinical and family psychologist Dr. Julia Andre says, establishing healthy boundaries can be incredibly challenging, making you feel guilty and uneasy if you even try to prioritize yourself.

正如臨床和家庭心理學家朱莉婭-安德烈博士所說，建立健康的界限可能具有極大的挑戰性，如果你試圖把自己放在首位，就會感到內疚和不安。

But with a healthy partner, boundaries aren't something to fear.

但是，與健康的伴侶在一起，界限並不可怕。

Say, okay, you've had a rough day and need some time alone.

說，好吧，你今天過得很糟糕，需要一些獨處的時間。

A healthy partner doesn't pout or guilt trip you.

健康的伴侶不會賭氣，也不會讓你內疚。

They might say, checking in later to see how you're feeling or if you're hungry or if you need anything.

他們可能會說，晚些時候再來看你，看看你感覺如何，或者你是否餓了，或者你是否需要什麼。

They see them as windows into what you need to feel safe and supported.

在他們看來，這些都是你需要安全感和支持的窗口。

Arguments don't have to feel like battlefields.

In a healthy relationship, even conflict is an opportunity to grow closer, not tear each other down.

在健康的人際關係中，即使是衝突也是增進親密關係的機會，而不是互相拆臺。

Imagine a disagreement where emotions are high.

試想一下，在意見分歧時，雙方的情緒都很激動。

Instead of yelling or shutting you down, your partner says, let's figure this out together.

你的伴侶不會大喊大叫或讓你閉嘴，而是說，讓我們一起想辦法解決這個問題。

They stay calm and focus on the issue, not attacking you.

他們保持冷靜，專注於問題，而不是攻擊你。

There's no blame game, no hurtful words like, you always mess this up, you're always so sensitive, so emotional.

沒有責備的遊戲，沒有傷人的話，比如 "你總是把事情搞得一團糟，你總是那麼敏感，那麼情緒化"。

They listen, like really listen to your perspective, your feelings, your experience, even if they don't fully agree.

他們會傾聽，真正傾聽你的觀點、感受和經歷，即使他們並不完全贊同。

Together, you work towards solutions, showing you that even when things are hard, they're still on your side.

你們一起努力尋找解決方案，向你展示即使遇到困難，他們也會站在你這邊。

So, do any of these green flags remind you of someone?

那麼，這些綠色旗幟中是否有讓你想起某個人的呢？

Finding a partner who helps you heal rather than hurt is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

找到一個能幫助你治癒而不是傷害你的伴侶，是你能送給自己的最大禮物之一。

They're your guide to relationships that feel safe and nurturing.

它們會引導你建立安全、滋養的人際關係。

You're not alone on this journey and you're doing amazing work by learning more about yourself.

在這段旅程中，你並不孤單，你正在通過更多瞭解自己來做一件了不起的事情。

And we'll keep uploading more content on this subject matter if that's what you want, so let us know if it is in the comments below.

如果這是你想要的，我們會繼續上傳更多關於這個主題的內容，如果是的話，請在下面的評論中告訴我們。

If you enjoyed this video, be sure to hit the like button and subscribe to Psych2Go for more.

如果您喜歡這段視頻，請務必點擊 "喜歡 "按鈕，並訂閱 Psych2Go 以獲取更多資訊。