Name: 讓你一直單身的 6 個調情錯誤 (6 Flirting Mistakes That Keep You Single)
Uploaded: 2025-05-27T13:48:16.000Z
Duration: 4 min 34 s

Well, according to the Social Issues Research Centre, anthropological research shows that flirting is a universal and essential part of human interaction.

根據社會問題研究中心（Social Issues Research Centre）的研究，人類學研究表明，調情是人際交往中普遍存在的重要組成部分。

But if it is instinctive to all of us on some level, then why do we sometimes get it wrong?

但是，如果這是我們每個人在某種程度上的本能，那為什麼我們有時會弄錯呢？

If you clicked on this video looking for a guide to help you flirt better, you're not alone.

如果你點擊這段視頻是想了解如何更好地調情，那你並不孤單。

Because like many other social norms, much of the do's and don'ts of flirting are dictated by unwritten laws of etiquette that we generally obey without even realizing it, says the Social Issues Research Centre.

社會問題研究中心（Social Issues Research Centre）說，因為就像許多其他社會規範一樣，調情的 "該做 "和 "不該做 "大多是由不成文的禮儀法則決定的，我們通常會在不知不覺中遵守這些法則。

With that said, here are six common psychology backed flirting mistakes that may be keeping you single.

綜上所述，以下六種常見的心理學調情錯誤可能會讓你一直單身。

According to psychology professor Dr. Aaron Ben-Zeév, although playing hard to get is a common flirting tactic a lot of people swear by, it can actually hurt more than help your romantic chances.

心理學教授亞倫-本-澤夫博士（Dr. Aaron Ben-Zeév）認為，雖然 "欲擒故縱 "是一種常見的調情策略，很多人都信誓旦旦地說這是一種調情策略，但它實際上對你的戀愛機會有百害而無一利。

By pretending we're not interested in someone, it creates insecurity and uncertainty early on in the relationship, which can lead to more deception and emotional manipulation.

如果我們假裝對某人不感興趣，就會在戀愛初期產生不安全感和不確定性，從而導致更多的欺騙和情感操縱。

Playing such superficial games may also attract the wrong kind of person, says Dr. Ben-Zeév.

Ben-Zeév 博士說，玩這種膚淺的遊戲也可能會吸引錯誤的人。

Another common flirting mistake, especially among women, is never making the first move.

另一個常見的調情錯誤，尤其是女性，就是從不主動出擊。

You may think that all the subtle signs you're giving, like making prolonged eye contact, smiling and casually touching them, or liking their posts online, is enough for them to take the hint.

你可能會認為，你所給予的所有微妙暗示，比如長時間的眼神交流、微笑和隨意地撫摸他們，或者在網上點贊他們的帖子，都足以讓他們接受你的暗示。

But it also leaves a lot of room for miscommunication.

但這也給溝通不暢留下了很大的空間。

If you want to date someone, says dating expert and self-help author John Burger, it's better to make the first move.

約會專家、自助作家約翰-伯格（John Burger）說，如果你想和某人約會，最好先主動出擊。

Instead of just waiting around for them, because it's a way of taking control of your relationships and being more intentional about the partners you choose.

而不是一味地等待，因為這是你掌控人際關係的一種方式，也是你更有意識地選擇合作伙伴的一種方式。

According to Dr. James Wadley, psychologist and chair of the Counseling and Human Services department at Lincoln University,

林肯大學心理諮詢與人類服務系主任、心理學家詹姆斯-瓦德利博士（Dr. James Wadley）說、

bringing your pent up frustrations with you on a date or while flirting with someone is a big no-no.

在約會或與人調情時，把積壓的不滿情緒帶在身上是大忌。

Because although it might seem like a natural and easy conversation starter, showing too much of a disagreeable attitude early on in a potential relationship is a turn off for a lot of people.

雖然這看起來很自然，也很容易成為談話的開場白，但在一段潛在的關係中，如果一開始就表現出太過不贊同的態度，會讓很多人望而卻步。

So when you're flirting, Dr. Wadley suggests, it's best to keep things light-hearted and positive for now.

是以，瓦德利博士建議，當你們調情時，最好暫時保持輕鬆和積極的態度。

Similar to our earlier point, don't make the mistake of thinking it's okay to talk too much about why you're single, or worse, how much you hate it.

與我們前面提到的觀點類似，不要錯誤地認為可以過多地談論自己單身的原因，或者更糟糕的是，你有多討厭單身。

Seeing singlehood as a problem, says psychologist Dr. Karin Anderson, can paint us in a bad light, both to ourselves and others.

心理學家卡琳-安德森（Karin Anderson）博士說，將單身視為一個問題，會給我們自己和他人帶來不好的印象。

We may start to see and present ourselves as being too picky or too needy, and that there's something undesirable about us as a partner, and that we can't see our own self-worth without one.

我們可能會開始認為自己太挑剔或太需要伴侶，認為自己作為伴侶有不可取之處，沒有伴侶就無法實現自我價值。

According to relationship and well-being psychologist Dr. Amie M. Gordon,

關係與幸福心理學家阿米-M-戈登博士認為

we need to be careful of having high expectations of potential partners.

我們需要謹慎對待對潛在合作伙伴的過高期望。

Because while having high expectations can be good, like when it increases commitment and helps us behave more positively towards one another,

因為期望值高可能是好事，比如它能增強我們的承諾，幫助我們更積極地對待彼此、

it can easily turn bad if we over-romanticize our perfect type, having unrealistically high standards can make us miss out on someone great, because it only sets them up for failure.

如果我們把自己的完美類型過度浪漫化，就很容易把事情弄糟，不切實際的高標準可能會讓我們錯過某個優秀的人，因為這隻會讓他們陷入失敗。

Last but not least, hiding how you really feel is perhaps the biggest flirting mistake that's keeping you single.

最後但並非最不重要的一點是，隱藏自己的真實感受也許是讓你一直單身的最大調情錯誤。

Because although it might seem terrifying to confess your true feelings to someone, never letting them in or showing them your true feelings will only discourage them from pursuing you and getting to know the real you.

因為儘管向對方坦白自己的真實感受似乎很可怕，但永遠不讓對方瞭解或向對方展示自己的真實感受，只會讓對方失去追求你、瞭解真實的你的興趣。

According to a Healthline article reviewed by therapist Dr. Jennifer Litner, by hiding your emotions, you prevent clear communication with the people in your life, and that's not something you want to make a habit of when starting a relationship with someone.

根據治療師詹妮弗-利特納博士（Dr. Jennifer Litner）撰寫的《健康在線》（Healthline）評論文章，隱藏自己的情緒會阻礙與生活中的人進行清晰的溝通，而這並不是你想在與某人開始一段關係時養成的習慣。

So, can you relate to any of the things we've mentioned here?

那麼，你是否與我們在這裡提到的任何事情有關聯呢？

Did this list make you realize some of the flirting mistakes that are keeping you single?

這份清單是否讓你意識到了一些讓你一直單身的調情錯誤？

Even if the answer is yes, don't worry, flirting doesn't come easily to everyone and it's not a skill that's ever explicitly taught to us.

即使答案是肯定的，也不用擔心，調情並不是每個人都能輕易做到的，也不是一種明確教給我們的技能。

So it's understandable to make mistakes sometimes, what matters most is that you become aware of your missteps and all the other ways you may be unconsciously holding yourself back from finding love.

是以，有時犯錯是可以理解的，最重要的是你要意識到自己的失誤，以及你可能在無意識中阻礙自己找到愛情的所有其他方式。

What are some other common flirting mistakes we've missed?

我們還忽略了哪些常見的調情錯誤？

Let us know in the comments down below, till next time, psych to goers, thanks for watching.

請在下面的評論中告訴我們，直到下一次，psych to goers，感謝觀看。