Name: 有些友誼能長久，有些卻不能 - Iseult Gillespie (How some friendships last — and others don’t - Iseult Gillespie)
Uploaded: 2025-01-02T15:59:17.000Z
Duration: 4 min 59 s

In a 2008 study, psychologists asked participants to rate the steepness of a hill.

在 2008 年的一項研究中，心理學家要求參與者對山坡的陡峭程度進行評分。

基礎被動語態

Those who were accompanied by a good friend judged the hill to be less steep than people who were alone.

有好朋友陪伴的人比獨自一人的人判斷山坡沒有那麼陡。

程度副詞

This is just one of many ways friendships can change how we see and move through the  Friendships can boost our academic performance, help us deal with setbacks, and even improve our health.

這只是友誼改變我們看待和經歷世界的方式的眾多方法之一。友誼可以提高我們的學習成績，幫助我們應對挫折，甚至改善我們的健康。

And the relationships we form in our childhood and teenage years can shape our beliefs, values, and emotional growth.

我們在童年和青少年時期形成的人際關係會影響我們的信仰、價值觀和情感成長。

It's clear that friendships are important, but making and maintaining friends isn't always easy.

很顯然，友誼很重要，但交朋友和維持友誼並不總是那麼容易。

If you struggle with approaching new people, you are far from alone.

如果您在與新朋友接觸時遇到困難，那麼您並不孤單。

In a series of studies, participants had conversations of varying lengths with strangers.

在一系列研究中，參與者與陌生人進行了長短不一的對話。

Afterward, they were asked to estimate how much they thought each stranger liked them.

之後，他們被要求估計自己認為每個陌生人喜歡自己的程度。

Across the board, participants rated their own likability much lower than others had actually rated them.

所有參與者對自己好感度的評價都遠遠低於他人對自己的實際評價。

Scientists dubbed this tendency to underestimate how much others enjoy our company as the liking gap.

科學家們把這種低估他人對我們的喜愛程度的傾向稱為 "喜愛差距"。

So before meeting new people, it may be helpful to psych yourself up and remember that others like you more than you think.

是以，在認識新朋友之前，不妨先給自己打打氣，記住別人比你想象的更喜歡你。

You may even want to enter these conversations assuming that the other person will like you.

你甚至可以假設對方會喜歡你，然後進入這些對話。

Known as the acceptance prophecy, psychologists find that when people expect to be well-liked, they often unknowingly come across as warmer and friendlier.

心理學家發現，當人們期望得到他人的喜愛時，往往會不自覺地表現得更加熱情友好，這就是所謂的 "接受預言"。

And the more new people you meet, the more confident you'll likely feel.

遇到的新朋友越多，你就會越自信。

In one study, people who talked to just one new person each day for a week reported feeling less afraid of rejection, more secure in their conversational skills, and more excited to meet new people overall.

在一項研究中，連續一週每天只與一個新人交談的人報告說，他們不太害怕被拒絕，對自己的談話技巧更有信心，而且總體上更願意結識新朋友。

Next, what's happening when relationships grow from casual acquaintances to confidants?

接下來，當人際關係從萍水相逢發展為知己時，會發生什麼？

Psychologists have identified two key features of more intimate friendships, companionship and closeness.

心理學家發現，更親密的友誼有兩個主要特徵：陪伴和親近。

Companionship is defined as the rapport or understanding that blooms between people with similar hobbies, interests, or values.

伴侶關係是指愛好、興趣或價值觀相似的人之間產生的默契或理解。

Sometimes just being in the same class or team is enough to build this connection.

有時，只要在同一個班級或團隊，就足以建立這種聯繫。

It's been shown to improve self-esteem and increase our resilience to stress.

事實證明，它能提高我們的自尊心，增強我們的抗壓能力。

Closeness, on the other hand, looks different for every relationship.

另一方面，每段關係中的親密程度也不盡相同。

It might mean supporting each other through difficult times, or feeling comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings.

這可能意味著在困難時期相互支持，或自在地分享自己的想法和感受。

But not every friendship has to get deeply personal, especially at first.

但是，並不是每一段友誼都必須具有深刻的個人色彩，尤其是在開始的時候。

Simply telling a friend about your day or sharing your interests can help build closeness.

簡單地向朋友講述自己的一天或分享自己的興趣愛好，有助於建立親密關係。

While every friendship develops on its own timeline, consistency can help, which can include sticking to plans, chatting regularly, and remembering the things that are important to each other.

雖然每段友誼的發展都有自己的時間表，但保持一致會有所幫助，這包括堅持計劃、定期哈拉以及記住對彼此重要的事情。

This holds true even for long-distance friendships.

Chatting and texting can keep these relationships strong, as long as they remain intimate, trusting, and consistent.

只要保持親密、信任和一致，哈拉和發短信就能讓這些關係保持穩固。

Yet even the closest friendships hit rough patches.

然而，即使是最親密的友誼也會遇到坎坷。

This is especially true for teenage friendships, when people often navigate different types of challenges for the first time.

青少年時期的友誼尤其如此，因為他們往往是第一次面對不同類型的挑戰。

For example, there might be a situation that puts two friends in competition, like applying to the same college.

例如，可能會出現讓兩個朋友競爭的情況，比如申請同一所大學。

One might betray the other's confidence or make a hurtful comment.

一方可能會背叛另一方的信任，或發表傷人的評論。

And these relationships can also falter when one person feels unable or unwilling to support the other through challenging situations, like breakups, illnesses, or personal tragedies.

如果其中一方覺得無法或不願支持另一方渡過難關，如失戀、疾病或個人悲劇，那麼這種關係也會動搖。

The most surefire way to deal with rifts is to talk about them.

處理裂痕的最可靠方法就是談論它們。

These conversations can be tough and awkward.

這些對話可能會很艱難和尷尬。

But if they're approached in the right way, they can strengthen friendships in the long run.

但如果方法得當，從長遠來看，它們可以增進友誼。

Before these difficult conversations, try to remind yourselves to show up without judgment.

在進行這些艱難的對話之前，試著提醒自己不帶評判地出現在對話中。

Avoid getting too defensive or making accusations.

Instead, share how the situation is making you feel.

相反，請分享這種情況給你帶來的感受。

Some friendships naturally come to an end.

Whether new buddies or lifelong pals, all friendships can benefit from building healthy habits.

無論是新朋友還是一輩子的好夥伴，所有的友誼都能從培養健康的生活習慣中受益。

And it's never too late to make a new friend.

Learn how friendship affects your brain with this video.

通過這段視頻瞭解友誼如何影響大腦。

 Or explore the science of adolescence at ed.ted.com forward slash building dash connections.

或者訪問 ed.ted.com forward slash building dash connections 探索青春期科學。

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有些友誼能長久，有些卻不能 - Iseult Gillespie (How some friendships last — and others don’t - Iseult Gillespie)

awkward

stick

assume

struggle