It's a really hard question to answer.

這是個很難回答的問題。

No one wants to think their parents are abusive, but many parents are.

沒有人願意相信自己的父母有虐待行為，但許多父母確實如此。

Hundreds of thousands of kids around the world struggle with familial abuse every year.

世界各地每年都有成千上萬的孩子受與家暴所苦。

And the problem is most kids don't know what abuse actually looks like.

而問題是，大多數孩子並不知道自己其實身處虐待之中。

To help you understand the markers of emotional and physical abuse, here are eight signs that your parents are not treating you the way they should.

為幫助大家瞭解及辨認情感和身體上的虐待，以下是八個顯示出你的父母沒有盡到職責的跡象。

And before we begin, we wanna make a disclaimer that this video is for educational purposes only.

在開始前，我們想先聲明，本影片僅為教育目的。

If you relate to any of these signs on this list, please reach out to someone, whether you're looking for help or just a friend to talk to, call any of the hotlines listed in the description below.

如果你符合清單上的任何一個跡象，請向他人求助，無論是尋求救助，還是只是想找個朋友聊聊，請撥打下面描述欄中任一條熱線。

No matter how stressed or alone you feel, remember that help is just a phone call away.

無論你感到多緊張或孤獨，請記住，只要打個電話就能得到幫助。

Now, let's get back to the video.

現在讓我們回到影片吧。

One, they're physically violent.

第一，他們有肢體暴力傾向。

Have your parents ever been physically violent with you?

你的父母是否曾動手打你？

If a parent uses any kind of physical violence, they're abusive.

如果父母使用任何形式的肢體暴力，就是虐待。

Many abusive parents make excuses for their physical violence.

許多施暴的父母會找藉口。

But according to the US Department of Health and Human Services, there is never a good reason to physically abuse the child.

但根據美國衛生及公共服務部，沒有任何理由能合理化對孩子身體上的虐待。

If this is happening in your family, you have an abusive parent.

如果這種情況發生在你的家庭中，那麼你的父母就是家暴。

Two, they're verbally abusive.

二，言語辱罵。

Verbal abuse can be a tricky thing to identify.

言語虐待可能難以識別。

Many kids don't realize their parents are even being abusive, but personal attacks, criticisms and other wounding comments are a common form of emotional abuse.

許多孩子甚至沒有意識到父母正在言語虐待自己，人身攻擊、責備和其他傷害性評論都是常見的精神虐待。

Verbal attacks may never leave physical scars, but aggressive and deflating comments can damage the child emotionally.

口頭攻擊可能永遠不會留下實質傷痕，但咄咄逼人的洩憤言論會對孩子造成情感傷害。

After years of verbal abuse, many children struggle to rebuild their confidence and self-esteem.

經歷長年辱罵，許多兒童難以重建信心和自尊心。

Verbal aggression from a parent is child abuse no matter how you slice it.

無論如何分割，父母的言語暴力就是虐待兒童。

Three, they get excessively angry.

三，常常暴怒。

How often does your parent get angry?

你的父母多久發一次火？

Do they raise their voice on a regular basis?

他們是否經常大吼？

Excessive anger is a common sign of both emotional and physical abuse.

暴怒是精神和肢體虐待常見的跡象。

Parents who explode and fly off the handle tend to lose control.

暴怒的父母往往會失控。

In the midst of their anger, they may lash out at their children.

在盛怒中，他們可能會對自己的孩子大發雷霆。

Even if they apologize afterwards, parents who lose their tempers and hurt their children are abusive.

即使事後道歉，父母亂發怒並傷害孩子就是虐待。

Four, they make you compete for love.

四，他們讓你爭奪他們的愛。

Do your parents withhold their love?

你的父母是否會「扣留」他們的愛？

Do you have to go out of your way just to get their attention?

你是否需要費盡心思才能引起他們的注意？

Abusive parents will treat love like a tool.

虐待孩子的父母會把愛視作一種工具。

They love you when you're doing what they want but when you do anything else that love disappears.

符合他們期待時，他們才愛你，但當你不符要求時，愛就會消失。

Abusive parents use their love to manipulate and control you.

虐待孩子的父母會利用愛來操縱和控制孩子。

But parents should love and support their kids no matter what.

但父母應該愛和支持孩子，無論孩子如何。

In a healthy parent-child relationship, love is a basic assumption.

在健康的親子關係中，愛是基本的。

If your parents make you compete for their love or attention, they may be abusive.

如果你的父母讓你為了得到他們的愛或關注而奮鬥，他們可能是在虐待你。

Five, they neglect responsibility.

五，忽視自己的責任。

Do your parents ignore you?

你的父母是否忽略了你？

Many abusive parents show little interest in their children.

許多虐待兒童的父母都不太關心自己的孩子。

They don't know where their kids are or what they're doing and they usually don't care.

他們不知道自己的小孩在哪、在做什麼，通常也不在乎。

Abusive parents pay attention to their kids only when their kids are causing them trouble.

虐待兒童的父母通常只有在孩子闖禍時才會注意到他們。

Otherwise abusive parents remain distant and oblivious.

若非如此，他們只會保持疏遠和漠視。

Six, they isolate you from others.

第六，他們將你與他人隔離。

Do your parents isolate you from other members?

你的父母是否將你與其他人隔離？

Do they lie to keep you under their thumb?

他們是否為了讓你受制於他們而撒謊？

Isolation is a form of emotional abuse.

孤立也是精神虐待的一種。

Parents will limit their child's ability to escape from painful situations or stand in the way of their happiness or success.

這類型父母會限制孩子躲避痛苦處境的能力或阻礙他們的幸福或成功。

Seven, they abuse drugs or alcohol.

七，濫用藥物或酒精。

According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, abusing drugs and alcohol is a common sign of parental violence.

美國衛生及公共服務部表明，濫用藥物和酒精是家暴的常見跡象。

Not only do these substances distort the brain, but they're commonly associated with destructive and neglectful lifestyle choices.

這些物質不僅會扭曲大腦，通常也與毀滅性和不管不顧的生活方式有關。

Substances influence decision-making, impaired judgment and alter a person's mood.

這些物質會影響決策，損害判斷力並改變人的情緒。

All of those factors can lead to dangerous or abusive interactions between a parent and child.

這些因素都可能導致兒童身處危險或虐待行為。

And eight, they threaten your wellbeing.

第八，他們威脅到你的正常生活。

Was your parent threatened to hurt or disrupt your daily life?

你的父母是否被威脅要傷害或擾亂你的日常生活？

Many abusive parents before using physical violence threaten their children.

許多施暴的父母在使用身體暴力之前會威脅孩子。

The possibility of violence will still intimidate or emotionally damage a child.

可能的暴力會嚇到或在精神上傷害到孩子。

Threats of any kind are unacceptable from a parent.

父母的任何形式的威脅都是不可接受的。

Children should feel safe and comfortable in their homes.

兒童在家應該感到安全和舒適。

When abusive parents make threats, they're teaching their kid to be afraid of their own family.

當施暴的父母發出威脅時，就是在教孩子害怕自己的家人。

Have you or someone you know dealt with abusive parents?

你或你認識的人是否受到家暴呢？

If you can relate to this video, always know that you're not alone and there is always someone to talk to and someone who can help.

如果你能與這段影片產生共鳴，永遠要知道你並不孤單，總有人可以聽你傾訴和幫助你。

If you found this video helpful, share it with someone who might benefit from it.

如果覺得這支影片有幫助，請與那些可能從中受益的人分享。

Click the like button and subscribe for more psychology content and as always, thanks for watching.

按讚並訂閱，觀看更多的心理學內容，老樣子，謝謝收看。