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Ninh explains: What is football?
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That's easy, it's this, right?
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This is football.
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Played with pads and helmets and vicious hits and sometimes scantily clad uniforms.
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If you go to anywhere in America, and say the word 'football', everyone will assume
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you're talking about this.
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However next door in Canada – they play something that looks very similar to American
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Football, but it's not.
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If you ask a Canadian what football is, they'll point you out to this.
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What's that I can hear?
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It's the annoying sound of British haters who come out with the same tired ass joke.
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Year in and year out.
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Oh they don't actually kick the ball, and their ball isn't actually round.
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It should be called handegg, it's handegg, hand egg, hand egg hahaha hand egg.
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Firstly, that handegg joke wasn't funny in the 90's and it's still not funny now.
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And secondly, they do actually kick the ball.
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It's actually a really important part of the game, though people who haven't watched
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a great deal of it would actually know that.
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And thirdly, this is not an egg shape.
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This is an egg shape.
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There's a difference.
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Speaking of the English, to them this is football.
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The sport played where you actually have to kick the ball, like, most of the time.
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Association football (that's what it's officially called) but sometimes it's called
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Soccer because well, it's there, is probably the number one played and watched sport in
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the world right now.
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Aha, so this is real football.
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Well, to most English people it is.
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But there are some that believe this is football.
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You might know this as Rugby Union or Rugby League, but the official title of the sport
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is 'Rugby Football'.
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If you don't believe me, check out the governing bodies official titles.
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Yeah, Rugby is a kind of football.
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It's a thing.
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And they also claim that they played their game before the formation of the Football
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Association.
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But in general, each code of Rugby refers to themselves as 'Rugby' to differentiate
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it from association football, and use the terms 'Rugby Union' and Rugby League'
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to differentiate them from each other.
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The Irish however, claim to have invented their version of football – a sport called
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Gaelic Football way before the invention of Rugby.
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Even though their pitch and posts looks suspiciously like a game across the water, and their ball
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and gameplay suspiciously looks like another game across the water.
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Nevertheless, the Irish claim that this is real football, and football in Ireland refers
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to Gaelic Football, not Soccer.
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Enter, the Australians.
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Who from halfway across the world also claim to have invented their version of football,
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independently of the Irish, and claim that their game preceded theirs.
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Even though one of their founders was (quite suspiciously) a former Rugby player.
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Hmmm, well it's a bone of contention that's disputed amongst historians – but football
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in Australia generally refers to Aussie Rules Football, not soccer.
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So is there a game that's indisputably older than these?
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Yes there is, and it's by the Italians.
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To some Italians this is football.
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Calcio Storico, translated as 'historic football' was the original version of football
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before the invention of soccer.
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It's based on an old Roman game called Harpastum and in general, it's one part football,
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90 parts beating the shit out of each other.
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This game is violent and historically Popes were allowed to play this game … armed with
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swords!
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A freaking sword, are you serious?!
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Being stabbed to death by the holiest man on earth in the name of sport, is a really
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bad deal.
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Okay, violent popes aside, what's actually the oldest form of football?
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Well, if you're asking the question 'who invented the first game that involves kicking
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a ball' it's actually the Chinese.
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Yes, they played a similar sport over 2000 years ago, where they had to kick balls in
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order to score goals.
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This was mainly played during festivals and celebrations.
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Even FIFA (the corrupt worldwide governing body of Association Football) acknowledges
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on their own website, that it was the Chinese that are the first to play any variation of
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the sport of football.
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So … this is football?
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Yes, obviously.
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Come on now, seriously?
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Well, to ascertain what football is, I've come up with a simple dictionary style definition.
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Any form of team game involving kicking (and in some cases handling) a ball, which may
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or may not be completely spherical, that is the most popular form of the game in the country
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that it is played in.
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So by that definition, in the US – it's this game.
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In Canada, it's this, in some parts of the world, it's this or this.
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In Ireland this is football, in Australia that's football.
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In Italy, that's football … kind of, in China – that was originally football.
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And in many countries in the world, this is football.
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One word, several sports, all football.
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………… Hang on wise guy, what do you think football
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is?
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It's this … obviously.
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Ninh Ly – www.ninh.co.uk - @NinhLyUK
