Name: 讓你變得不快樂與不成功的最大阻礙 🫠 (The biggest barrier to happiness + success 🫠)
Uploaded: 2026-03-11T20:10:54.000Z
Duration: 8 min 52 s

We all have these moments where we catch a glimpse of what we're capable of achieving, a glimmer of what we're meant to become.

我們都會有那樣的時刻，瞥見自己能達成什麼，看到自己註定會成為什麼樣的人。

Maybe it's a surge of inspiration to kickstart a business that we've always been dreaming of.

也許是一股靈感，想 kickstart 一個我們一直夢想的事業。

情態副詞

Or maybe it's a craving to finally start eating more healthfully.

又或者是一種渴望，想要開始健康飲食。

And these desires, they keep pulling at our heartstrings.

而這些渴望，總是在牽動著我們的心。

But sometimes it feels like just as we're about to pursue them, something always seems to get in our way.

但有時候，感覺就像我們快要追求它們時，總有什麼東西會擋在我們前面。

Today, we're going to explore what I really feel is the biggest barrier that's holding us back when it comes to achieving our goals.

今天，我們要來探討我認為在達成目標這件事上，最大的阻礙是什麼。

I also briefly wanted to thank BetterHelp for sponsoring a portion of today's video.

我也想簡單感謝 BetterHelp 對今天影片的部分贊助。

We're going to chat more about them at the end.

So, Robin's always been a pretty hardcore fitness enthusiast.

所以，Robin 一直以來都是個很熱衷健身的人。

He's always pushing the limits of his physical endurance and strength.

他總是在挑戰自己的體能和力量極限。

And I feel like I used to be a pretty active person, but

而且我覺得我以前也是個很活躍的人，但是

And seeing that I've been in this kind of lull, Robin's been trying to get me excited about working out, you know, joining him on runs or reps.

然後因為我一直處於這種停滯期，Robin 一直想鼓勵我運動，你知道的，跟他一起去 runs 或做 reps。

But it feels like I have every reason under the sun for why I can't.

但感覺我好像有千百個理由說為什麼我做不到。

From an aching old injury to being too busy, to being too tired.

從舊傷復發到太忙，或是太累。

And so it feels like these external things keep happening to me that are getting in the way of me achieving my fitness goals.

所以感覺好像總是有這些外在因素發生在我身上，阻礙我達成健身目標。

But sometimes I'm like, maybe I'm just getting in my own way.

但有時候我又在想，也許是我自己擋了自己的路。

And so in psychology, creating obstacles like this, it's called self handicapping.

在心理學上，像這樣製造障礙，就叫做 self handicapping。

It's a strategy that we often subconsciously use anytime we know our performance is going to be evaluated in some way.

這是一種策略，當我們知道自己的表現會被評估時，我們常常會無意識地使用它。

also, if we have a project at work or an exam at school, what we do is we create obstacles to justify our poor performance or lack of effort.

同時，如果我們在工作上有個專案，或是在學校有考試，我們會製造障礙來合理化自己表現不好或不夠努力。

So let's say, for example, you've got an exam tomorrow, and

舉個例子，假設你明天有個考試，

that night you get a phone call from your friend saying, hey, come out and have drinks with us.

那天晚上你朋友打電話給你，說「嘿，出來跟我們一起喝酒。」

So now what happens is if you perform poorly on the exam, you can blame it on the fact that you couldn't study because you had this event to go to, instead of it being blamed on your inherent skills or abilities as a person.

所以現在會發生什麼事呢？如果考試表現不好，你就可以怪罪是因為有這場活動而無法讀書，而不是怪罪你本身的能力或天賦。

And so self handicapping is a type of self sabotage.

所以 self handicapping 是一種 self sabotage。

And it's self sabotage As a whole, that I genuinely believe is the biggest barrier that's holding us back when it comes to achieving happiness and success.

而我真心相信，整體來說，self sabotage 是阻礙我們達成幸福和成功的最大障礙。

I think the reason a lot of us feel that we can't or aren't achieving our goals is because we're kind of getting in our own way.

我覺得我們很多人覺得自己無法達成目標，或是沒有達成目標，是因為我們自己擋了自己的路。

And self sabotage, I think can take on a lot of different forms as well.

而 self sabotage 也有很多不同的形式。

Things like overthinking the small stuff, doubting ourselves too much, overly fearing the opinions of others, being excessively critical of our own work, procrastinating, that's a big one.

像是過度思考小事、過度懷疑自己、太在意別人的看法、對自己的作品過度批判、拖延，這點很重要。

Or engaging in self destructive behaviors, things like overeating, overspending or substance use.

或是從事自我毀滅的行為，像是過度飲食、過度消費，或是使用藥物。

Why is it that we get in the way of our own happiness and success?

為什麼我們會阻礙自己的幸福和成功呢？

Well, personally, I believe that we self sabotage as a defense mechanism.

嗯，我個人認為，我們之所以會 self sabotage，是一種防禦機制。

You see, I think we have this conscious part of our mind that's always wanting us to move forward, grow, learn, change, succeed.

你看，我覺得我們意識層面有個部分，總是希望我們前進、成長、學習、改變、成功。

But at the same time there's this subconscious, unconscious part of our minds that wants us to feel safe and secure, comfortable.

但同時，我們潛意識裡有個部分，希望我們感覺安全、穩定、舒適。

It wants to do everything possible to avoid failure or rejection.

它會盡一切可能來避免失敗或被拒絕。

It's really primal, it's protective in nature.

這真的很原始，本質上是保護性的。

The conscious part wants us to thrive, the unconscious part wants us to survive.

意識層面希望我們蓬勃發展，潛意識層面希望我們生存。

The conscious mind is the one that maybe wants us to make better food choices.

意識層面是那個可能希望我們做出更好飲食選擇的部分。

But the unconscious mind thinks, you're never going to change, so why bother trying?

但潛意識層面會想，你永遠不會改變，何必費力嘗試？

The conscious mind is the one that thinks it, hey, maybe let's turn our hobby into a business.

意識層面是那個會想，嘿，也許我們可以把興趣變成事業。

But the unconscious mind thinks, what are other people going to say?

但潛意識層面會想，別人會怎麼說？

The conscious mind wants to pursue the idea of a committed, loving relationship, but

意識層面想要追求一段穩定、充滿愛的關係，但是

the unconscious mind thinks, I'm not worthy of love, I'm unlovable.

潛意識層面會想，我不值得被愛，我無法被愛。

And so if we default to the unconscious mind because it's where we feel safe and comfortable, then it's going to prevent us from growing and achieving our long term goals.

所以如果我們傾向於依賴潛意識，因為那是我們感到安全和自在的地方，那麼這就會阻礙我們成長並達成長期目標。

Well, I think because we often self sabotage unconsciously, I think the first step to overcoming it is just to become aware of when we're doing it.

嗯，我認為因為我們常常在不知不覺中自我破壞，所以我認為克服它的第一步就是意識到我們何時在這樣做。

The psychiatrist Carl Jung once famously said, until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you'll call it fate.

精神科醫生卡爾·榮格曾說過一句名言：直到你讓潛意識意識化，它才會主導你的生活，而你會稱之為命運。

But how do we know if the conscious or unconscious is in the driver's seat?

但我們怎麼知道是意識還是潛意識在主導呢？

I think it can really help to pay attention to the emotions like the conscious mind, the aspiring mind, the one that always wants us to achieve our goals.

我認為關注那些像意識一樣的情緒，有抱負的心，總是想讓我們達成目標的那顆心，會非常有幫助。

I think this one usually brings about feelings of Curiosity, creativity, excitement and joy.

我認為這通常會帶來好奇、創造力、興奮和喜悅的感覺。

Whereas the unconscious mind, the saboteur if you will, this is the one that usually brings about emotions of like anxiety, disappointment, regret, shame, blame and anger.

而潛意識，如果你願意這麼稱呼的話，那個破壞者，它通常會帶來焦慮、失望、後悔、羞恥、責備和憤怒等情緒。

And so if we're noticing these feelings and if we're able to pinpoint, hey, self sabotage is happening and there's a certain belief or fear that's holding me back, then what we can do is we can start to challenge it, maybe rewrite the narrative.

所以，如果我們注意到這些感覺，並且能夠精確地指出，嘿，自我破壞正在發生，而且有某種信念或恐懼在阻礙我，那麼我們就可以開始挑戰它，也許重寫敘事。

So if we're kind of going back to my lack of exercising example, if I'm being very honest with myself, I think my saboteur fears a kind of failure.

所以如果回到我缺乏運動的例子，如果我對自己非常誠實，我認為我的破壞者害怕的是一種失敗。

Like I don't want to look to the outside world like I'm unfit.

我不想在外人看來顯得身材不好。

But more importantly, I don't like feeling unfit in my own body.

但更重要的是，我不喜歡在自己身體裡感覺到不健康。

I don't like that feeling, especially when it's been so long since I've last worked out.

我不喜歡那種感覺，尤其是自從上次運動已經過了這麼久。

But now that I'm aware of that, maybe I can try to challenge it.

但既然我現在知道了，也許我可以試著挑戰它。

Maybe I can replace it with a more empowering narrative like I'm going to focus on progress and not perfection, I'm taking care of my health and my body is capable of change.

也許我可以把它替換成一個更有力量的敘事，像是「我會專注於進步而非完美，我正在照顧我的健康，我的身體有改變的能力」。

And so I think these two things can really help identifying when we're self sabotaging and then challenging it and rewriting it with a new narrative.

所以我認為這兩件事可以幫助我們辨識出自我破壞的時刻，然後挑戰它，並用一個新的敘事來重寫。

And then lastly, this is something I learned from Robin.

He's always saying, create a bias towards action.

And as a professional overthinker, I can tell you with confidence that when we overthink our goals, it just breeds more self doubt.

作為一個專業的 overthinker，我可以很有自信地告訴你，當我們過度思考我們的目標時，只會滋生更多的自我懷疑。

And instead if we actually just take action, we do something, we start to move forward and build momentum and that feels pretty darn good.

相反地，如果我們真的採取行動，做點什麼，我們就會開始前進並建立動能，那感覺真的很棒。

So when you have an idea or a goal, if you feel that spirit spark, don't waste time doubting yourself, just go for it.

所以當你有個想法或目標，如果你感覺到那股精神的火花，別浪費時間懷疑自己，就放手去做吧。

And if you're feeling up for it, if you want to maybe take a moment to identify a way in which you know that you've been self sabotaging.

如果你覺得準備好了，想要花點時間找出你知道自己一直在自我破壞的模式。

What is a fear belief that you think has been holding you back?

是什麼樣的恐懼信念，讓你覺得一直被阻礙著？

And can you rewrite the narrative in a more positive way and share it in the comments below?

然後你能用更正面的方式重寫這個敘事，並在下方的留言區分享嗎？

I think you'll come to see that A a lot of other people feel similarly, but

我想你會發現 A 很多人也有類似的感受，而且

B, I think you could inspire a lot of people and I think it's really helpful when we notice that we're not in these things alone.

B，我覺得你可以啟發很多人，而且當我們發現自己不是孤單一人時，真的很有幫助。

I again also briefly wanted to thank Better Help for sponsoring today's video.

我再次簡短地感謝 Better Help 對今天影片的贊助。

I learned a lot about self sabotage over the years in therapy myself And I think this is why therapists are so phenomenal.

我多年來在治療中學到了很多關於自我破壞的知識，我認為這就是為什麼治療師這麼厲害。

They can help us navigate the minefield that is our unconscious thoughts.

他們能幫助我們駕馭我們潛意識想法的地雷區。

And so Better Help is an online therapy platform where you can chat with a therapist from the comfort of your own home, and

而且 Better Help 是一個線上心理諮商平臺，你可以在家裡舒適地和治療師哈拉，

you can schedule live sessions whenever it works for you so you're not having to take time off of work or commuting.

你可以安排適合你的時間進行線上諮商，這樣你就不需要請假或通勤了。

And how you get started is you first fill out a brief questionnaire about yourself and what your needs are during therapy, and

要開始的話，你先填寫一份關於你自己的簡短問卷，以及你在諮商時的需求，

they'll use that information to match you with one of their therapists.

他們會根據這些資訊，幫你配對一位治療師。

However you feel most comfortable can be via text or phone call or video chat.

你覺得最自在的方式都可以，像是文字、電話或視訊哈拉。

And I think that some people feel that therapy isn't effective for them because they're not clicking with their therapist.

有些人覺得心理諮商對他們沒效，是因為他們和治療師沒有對到頻。

And that's so vitally important and with better help.

這一點非常非常重要，而 Better Help 則能做到。

I think what's so great is that you can easily request a new therapist at any time if you think it isn't working with the therapist that you've been matched with.

我覺得很棒的一點是，如果你覺得跟配對到的治療師不適合，隨時都可以輕鬆換一位。

And you can do it with just a click of a button.

而且只要按一下按鈕就可以辦到。

They have over 25,000 therapists in their network, and they've got a whole wide range of expertise.

他們網絡裡有超過兩萬五千位治療師，而且擁有非常廣泛的專業知識。

So there's definitely someone on there who can help you through whatever challenge it is you might be facing.

所以一定有人能在上面幫助你度過你可能面臨的任何挑戰。

So if you'd like to try out BetterHelp for yourself, they're actually offering 10% off of your first month.

所以如果你想自己試試 BetterHelp，他們現在提供你第一個月 10% 的折扣。

Just visit betterhelp.com pickuplines or check out the link in the description box below.

只要到 betterhelp.com pickuplines 或查看下方說明欄的連結。

And thanks so much for hanging with me today, friends.

然後非常感謝今天跟你們一起度過。

I, again, as a reminder, want to say that I think we're all capable of achieving so much more than we think, but

我再次提醒，我想我們都比自己想像的更有能力達成很多事，但是

so long as we don't stand in our own way.

But, hey, thanks so much for enjoying this cup of tea with me today.

不過，嘿，非常感謝今天跟我一起享受這杯茶。