Name: 為什麼有些女性覺得自己不可愛 [全文］ (Why Some Women Feel Unlovable [Full])
Uploaded: 2025-08-29T18:14:21.000Z
Duration: 6 min 44 s

Have you ever had a nagging thought in the back of your mind asking, am I unlovable?

你的腦海中是否曾有過這樣的念頭：我是不是不可愛？

如果沒有人真正愛過我怎麼辦？

過去簡單式

If you felt that way before, you're not alone.

如果你以前有這種感覺，那你並不孤單。

A while back, we released a video titled, why some men feel unlovable.

前不久，我們發佈了一段視頻，題為 "為什麼有些男人覺得自己不可愛"。

And many of you asked, can you do one for women too?

很多人問，你們能為女性也做一個嗎？

我們聽到了，也很高興你這麼問。

So many women, smart, kind, strong women struggle with feeling unlovable.

很多女性，聰明、善良、堅強的女性，都在為覺得自己不可愛而掙扎。

And maybe you've carried it for so long that you stop noticing it's even there.

也許你已經帶著它太久，以至於你不再注意到它的存在。

But that fear didn't come out of nowhere.

但這種恐懼並不是憑空產生的。

So many women find themselves as the emotional caretakers in their relationships, often putting others' needs before their own.

許多女性發現自己在人際關係中扮演著情感照顧者的角色，常常把他人的需求放在自己的需求之前。

Today, we're going to explore where these feelings really come from, the real experiences that shaped them, and more importantly, how to start healing from them.

今天，我們將探討這些感受的真正來源，形成這些感受的真實經歷，更重要的是，如何開始治癒這些感受。

You were taught to be the caretaker, not the one cared for.

你被教導成為照顧者，而不是被照顧者。

From day one, you were conditioned to care for others, siblings, parents, classmates, partners.

從出生的第一天起，你們就養成了照顧他人、兄弟姐妹、父母、同學和夥伴的習慣。

You became the emotional support system before you even understood your own emotions.

在你還不瞭解自己的情感時，你就成了情感支持系統。

Eventually, you believed your worth came from what you could give, not who you are.

最終，你認為你的價值來自於你能給予什麼，而不是你是誰。

This is called parentification, taking on adult caregiving roles too soon.

這就是所謂的 "父母化"，過早地承擔起照顧成人的角色。

It teaches you, my job is to give love, not receive it.

它告訴你，我的工作是給予愛，而不是接受愛。

When giving becomes your identity, receiving love feels unfamiliar or undeserved.

當給予成為你的身份時，接受愛就會感到陌生或不值得。

You confuse being wanted with being loved.

你把 "被需要 "和 "被愛 "混為一談。

You grew up in a world that praised looks over substance.

你是在一個重外表輕內涵的世界裡長大的。

You learned to see yourself through others' eyes, valuing appearance above all else.

你學會了用別人的眼光看待自己，把外表看得比什麼都重要。

This is what psychologists call objectification theory.

這就是心理學家所說的物化理論。

Over time, you started believing your worth comes from how attractive or desirable you are.

隨著時間的推移，你開始相信自己的價值來自於自己有多大的吸引力或多受歡迎。

When love feels tied to appearance rather than connection, it creates the fear.

當愛情與外表而非聯繫聯繫在一起時，就會產生恐懼。

Maybe I was never loved for who I truly am.

也許我從來沒有因為自己的真實身份而被愛過。

Sometimes you're loved, not for who you are, but for the role you play.

有時，你被愛，不是因為你是誰，而是因為你扮演的角色。

You're the responsible one, the fixer, the calm voice in the chaos, the one who holds it all together while quietly falling apart.

你是那個負責任的人，是 "修復者"，是混亂中的冷靜者，是在悄然分崩離析的同時仍將一切維繫在一起的人。

你被人需要，但並不真正為人所知。

Being idealized isn't the same as being understood.

被人仰慕，卻不被人看見，是一種孤獨。

And when those relationships fall apart, you start to wonder, was I ever truly lovable once they saw the real me?

當這些關係破裂時，你會開始懷疑，一旦他們看到真實的我，我是否真的可愛過？

But the truth is, you were never really seen to begin with.

但事實上，你從一開始就沒有被人真正看到過。

You're expected to do everything well, be successful, kind, confident, supportive, and make it look easy.

人們期望你把一切都做得很好，成功、善良、自信、支持他人，並讓一切看起來很容易。

Trying to meet all these mixed messages is exhausting.

試圖滿足所有這些混雜的資訊令人疲憊不堪。

It can feel like no matter what you do, it's never enough.

And when you start to believe you need to be perfect to be loved, even small mistakes can feel like proof that you don't deserve it.

當你開始相信自己需要完美才能得到愛時，即使是小錯誤也會讓你覺得自己不配得到愛。

When you scroll through social media, you mostly see people's best moments, perfect vacations, happy couples, flawless skin.

當你瀏覽社交媒體時，看到的大多是人們最美好的時刻、完美的假期、幸福的情侶、無暇的肌膚。

But what you don't see are their struggles, their doubts, their real life behind the screen.

但你看不到的是他們的掙扎、他們的懷疑、他們在銀幕背後的真實生活。

It's easy to forget that those images are carefully chosen and edited.

人們很容易忘記，這些圖片都是經過精心挑選和編輯的。

Still, you might start to believe that everyone else has it all together and that you're the only one who doesn't.

不過，你可能會開始相信，其他人都能做到這一切，只有你做不到。

Over time, that can make you feel like you're not good enough to be loved just as you are.

久而久之，就會讓你覺得自己不夠好，不能像現在這樣被愛。

Sometimes feeling unlovable is actually a trauma response.

有時，覺得自己不可愛其實是一種創傷反應。

If you've been betrayed, abandoned, or deeply hurt, your mind convinces you that you're unlovable as protection from future pain.

如果你曾被背叛、拋棄或深受傷害，你的大腦就會讓你相信自己是不可愛的，以此來保護自己免受未來的痛苦。

If you believe you're not worth loving, rejection won't hurt as much.

如果你認為自己不值得被愛，拒絕就不會那麼傷人。

But these protective walls that once kept you safe become prisons that keep love out, even when it's genuine and available.

但是，這些曾經保護你安全的保護牆變成了監獄，將愛拒之門外，即使是真誠的愛。

Feeling unlovable is not a permanent reality.

覺得自己不可愛並不是永久的現實。

It's a mindset shaped by experience and it can be changed.

這是一種由經驗形成的心態，是可以改變的。

Catch those quiet, self-defeating thoughts and question them.

抓住那些悄無聲息、自我否定的想法，並對它們提出質疑。

Instead of, I'm unlovable, ask, who taught me that love was something I had to earn?

與其問 "我不可愛"，不如問 "是誰告訴我，愛是需要自己去爭取的？

Write down the patterns you notice and counter them with small but real reminders of your worth.

寫下你注意到的模式，並用微小但真實的提醒來反駁它們，以證明你的價值。

Love isn't something you earn by being perfect.

It's something that grows through connection.

Think about what makes your closest friendships meaningful.

想想是什麼讓你最親密的友誼變得有意義。

It's not about how much you give, but who you are when you're safe to just be.

這與你付出多少無關，而是當你安全地做自己時，你是誰。

Practice accepting compliments with a simple, thank you.

練習用簡單的 "謝謝 "來接受讚美。

Let someone help you without rushing to return the favor.

讓別人幫助你，而不要急於回報。

Receiving love can feel uncomfortable, but it's not selfish, it's human.

接受愛會讓人感覺不舒服，但這不是自私，而是人之常情。

You don't have to explain your every decision.

你不必解釋自己的每一個決定。

Try, I can't do that, but thanks for asking.

試試吧，我做不到，不過還是謝謝你的關心。

Boundaries are not rejection, they're clarity and they protect space for the right people to connect with the real you.

界限不是拒絕，而是明確，是保護空間，讓合適的人與真實的你建立聯繫。

You don't have to bury your soul all at once.

你不必一下子就埋葬自己的靈魂。

Share one honest feeling with someone you trust.

與你信任的人分享一個真實的感受。

Reach out to a friend or join a space where people show up as they are.

向朋友伸出援手，或加入一個能讓人們展現自我的空間。

一個真實的瞬間可以帶來更多。

康復不是一蹴而就的，也不是直線式的。

When you're hard on yourself, pause and ask, what would I say to a friend right now?

當你對自己很苛刻時，請停下來問一問：我現在會對朋友說什麼？

You don't have to be perfect to be loved, just present.

被愛不一定要完美，只要有存在感。

If you've ever felt unlovable, you're not alone.

如果你曾經覺得自己不可愛，那麼你並不孤單。

Love isn't something you earn by overgiving.

It grows when you let yourself be seen, valued, and accepted by others and by yourself.

當你讓自己被他人和自己看到、重視和接受時，它就會成長。

If this video resonated with you, you might also like six things you didn't know were loneliness.

如果這段視頻引起了您的共鳴，您可能還會喜歡《您不知道的六種孤獨》。

And check out our previous version on why some men feel unlovable.

請查看我們之前的版本，瞭解為什麼有些男人覺得自己不可愛。

Support our work by leaving a comment, liking the video, and subscribing for more self-growth content.

支持我們的工作，請留言、贊視頻並訂閱更多自我成長內容。

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為什麼有些女性覺得自己不可愛 [全文］ (Why Some Women Feel Unlovable [Full])

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