Name: 在職場上遇到困難的對話該如何控制情緒？讓哈佛商業評論專家告訴你！ (How to Control Your Emotions During a Difficult Conversation: The Harvard Business Review Guide)
Uploaded: 2025-08-20T11:40:05.000Z
Duration: 6 min 40 s

情態副詞

Have you ever lost control during a heated argument at work and said or done something you immediately regret?

你是否曾在工作中的激烈爭吵中失控，說了或做了一些讓你立即後悔的事情？

While I can't help you take back that unfortunate thing you said, I can help you make sure it doesn't happen again.

雖然我無法幫你收回你說過的那句不幸的話，但我可以幫你確保它不再發生。

In this video, you're going to learn how to pay closer attention to your thoughts, feelings, and even your body, so you have a better chance of staying calm during a conflict.

在這部影片中，你將學習如何更密切地關注自己的想法、感受甚至身體，這樣你就更有可能在衝突中保持冷靜。

Now, think about a tense conversation or a difficult negotiation at work.

現在，想一想工作中的緊張對話或艱難談判。

This disagreement may be hard and even uncomfortable, but surely you're not panicking like you were with the bear, right?

這種分歧可能會讓你感到難受甚至不舒服，但你肯定不會像對待熊那樣驚慌失措，對嗎？

其實，事情並不總是那麼簡單。

Our brain is constantly scanning for threats, and when it senses one, regardless of the actual level of danger, an alarm goes off.

我們的大腦會不斷掃描威脅，一旦感覺到威脅，無論實際危險程度如何，警報都會響起。

Whether it's a bear or your boss, those sweaty palms, that knot in your stomach, the racing heart, it's all part of your body's ancient fight-or-flight survival mechanism.

無論是熊還是你的老闆，手心出汗、胃部打結、心跳加速，這些都是你身體古老的「非戰即逃」生存機制的一部分。

The body makes a chemical choice to protect itself, and when that happens, rational thinking shuts down.

身體會做出化學選擇來保護自己，而當發生這種情況時，理性思維就會關閉。

And to make matters worse, thanks to something called mirror neurons, your counterpart can catch your stressful reactions, and the conflict can spiral out of control.

更糟糕的是，由於鏡像神經元的作用，你的對手會捕捉到你的緊張反應，從而使衝突一發不可收拾。

幸運的是，一切都還沒有結束。

You can learn to interrupt these physiological reactions right there in the moment, so you can take the heat down in real time.

你可以學會當場打斷這些生理反應，從而實時降溫。

First, acknowledge and label what you're feeling.

Stressful feelings take up space and create noise in your mind.

壓力情緒會佔據空間，在你的頭腦中製造噪音。

But as psychologist and author Susan David defines them, feelings are just transient sources of data that may or may not prove to be helpful.

但正如心理學家兼作家 Susan David 所定義的那樣，感覺只是短暫的數據來源，可能證明有用，也可能證明無用。

Thinking of emotions as data can help you be more objective about them.

將情緒視為數據，可以幫助你更客觀地看待情緒。

For instance, saying to yourself, I'm having the thought that my co-worker's wrong, and I'm feeling anger, labels both the thought and the feeling.

例如，對自己說：「我有一個想法，我的同事是錯的，我感到憤怒。」這既是對想法的標記，也是對感覺的標記。

It creates some distance from the feeling, so it's easier to let it go.

這樣就能與這種感覺保持一定的距離，從而更容易釋懷。

Differentiating your feelings is helpful too.

Frustration is not the same as sadness or anger or disappointment.

沮喪與悲傷、憤怒或失望不同。

And understanding what caused it can help you resolve the situation.

瞭解造成這種情況的原因可以幫助你解決問題。

When you're feeling these intense emotions, it can be helpful to notice what else is going on in your body.

當你感受到這些強烈的情緒時，注意一下你身體裡發生的其他事情會對你有所幫助。

What are you feeling in your chest or in your stomach?

有什麼疼痛、顫抖或緊繃的感覺嗎？

These are all clues that can remind you, "Oh yeah, this is what automatically happens when I feel threatened and I need to make myself relax."

這些都是可以提醒你的線索，「哦，是的，當我感到受到威脅並且我需要讓自己放鬆時，就會自動發生這種情況。」

What you're doing with your body matters too.

你如何對待自己的身體也很重要。

If you're sitting still, stressful feelings can build up.

如果你坐著不動，緊張的情緒就會積聚起來。

Excusing yourself to get up and walk around can activate the rational thinking part of your brain and help you process your emotions.

讓自己站起來走動走動，可以激活大腦的理性思維部分，幫助你處理情緒。

給出一箇中立的理由，並承擔責任。

You can say, "I'm sorry to interrupt. I'd love to get a quick cup of coffee before we continue. Can I get you something while I'm up?"

你可以說：「抱歉打擾了。在我們繼續之前，我想先喝杯咖啡。 我上來的時候能給你拿點什麼嗎？」

This quick break can also provide a much needed reset for the conversation.

這種快速休息也能為談話提供一個急需的重啟。

If taking a break isn't an option, mindfulness experts recommend anchoring yourself with small intentional physical actions, such as tapping each finger with your thumb or firmly planting your feet on the ground.

如果無法選擇休息，正念專家建議通過一些有意識的小肢體動作來穩固自己，比如用拇指輕敲每個手指，或者雙腳牢牢地踩在地上。

Even these tiny actions can make a world of difference.

即使是這些微小的行動，也能帶來天壤之別。

Think of a person in your life who's a calming presence or a place that helps you relax.

想一想生活中能讓你平靜下來的人或能讓你放鬆的地方。

Picturing these, even for just a moment, can help redirect your thinking and start to calm yourself down.

想象這些，哪怕只是片刻，也能幫助你調整思維，讓自己開始平靜下來。

A quick side note on your counterpart's reactions.

Well, if you're upset, the feedback loop means your counterpart is probably upset too.

好吧，如果你不高興，反饋迴路意味著你的對手可能也不高興。

It may be necessary to just let them vent.

And while that may be difficult and uncomfortable for you, try picturing their heated and hurtful words just going over your shoulder rather than hitting you in the chest.

雖然這對你來說可能很困難，也很不舒服，但你可以試著想象一下，他們的激烈和傷人的話語只是越過你的肩膀，而不是擊中你的胸膛。

If you can show that you're listening without feeding into their negative emotions, chances are they will wind down eventually.

如果你能表現出你在傾聽，而不助長他們的負面情緒，他們最終有可能會慢慢平靜下來。

Another tip we probably all know is to focus on your breath.

另一個我們可能都知道的小竅門是專注於呼吸。

You're breathing anyway without even thinking about it, so pause for a moment and, well, think about it.

反正你想都沒想就在呼吸，所以停一下，好好想想。

What does it feel like to breathe in through the nose?

Does it change as it passes through the back of your throat?

它在通過喉嚨時會發生變化嗎？

What's the quality of your breath as it enters your lungs?

Counting your breath or focusing on the rhythm or smoothness will start to lessen the feeling of panic and restore your ability to think, listen, and feel empathy.

數著呼吸或專注於節奏或平穩的呼吸會開始減輕恐慌感，恢復思考、傾聽和移情的能力。

Another great tactic is to repeat a calming phrase or mantra.

另一個好方法是重複一句讓人平靜的短語或咒語。

You might say to yourself, this isn't about me, or go to neutral, or this is about the business.

你可能會對自己說，這不是關於我的，或者去中立，或者這是關於企業的。

This will help ground you and calm those emergency alarms going off in your brain.

這將有助於讓你腳踏實地，平息大腦中的緊急警報。

Conflicts are tough for everyone, and a hijacked nervous system shuts down your ability to think clearly.

衝突對每個人來說都是艱難的，被劫持的神經系統會讓你喪失清晰思考的能力。

But you don't have to be a zen master to learn self-regulation and to train yourself to respond instead of react.

但你不必成為禪宗大師，也能學會自我調節，訓練自己做出反應而不是被動應對。

Acknowledge and label your thoughts and feelings.

Remember, feelings are just data and may or may not be helpful.

記住，感覺只是數據，可能有用，也可能沒用。

Differentiating and labeling them for what they are can make them easier to let go.

將它們區分開來並貼上標籤，可以讓它們更容易被放下。

Removing yourself, even briefly, can give you time to process your emotions and provide a much-needed reset to the conversation.

哪怕是短暫的離開，也能給你時間處理情緒，為談話提供急需的重啟。

Take a brief walk or anchor yourself physically in order to jumpstart your rational brain.

散散步或讓自己的身體靜下來，以啟動你的理性大腦。

Picturing calm people or places can help focus your attention in a constructive way.

想象平靜的人或地方可以幫助你以建設性的方式集中注意力。

Imagining your counterpart's angry words going past you can help neutralize their effect.

想象對方的氣話從你耳邊過去，有助於中和這些氣話的影響。

Pay attention to the quality of your breath and try counting out your breaths with different techniques.

注意呼吸的品質，並嘗試用不同的技巧數呼氣。

It could be something neutral like, this is about the business, to help separate your personal feelings from the conversation at hand.

可以說一些中性的話，比如「這是關於業務的」，這樣有助於將你的個人感受與手頭的談話區分開來。

All of these strategies are based on HBR articles, and they're linked in the description below.

所有這些策略都基於《哈佛商業評論》的文章，並在下面的資訊欄中放置了連結。

Do you have a tactic for staying calm in a difficult conversation?

你有在困難的對話中保持冷靜的策略嗎？

Or maybe a topic you want us to cover as part of this series?

或者你希望我們在本系列報導中涉及的主題？