Name: 有毒羞恥感的 6 個跡象，而非健康羞恥感 (6 Signs of TOXIC Shame, NOT Healthy Shame)
Uploaded: 2025-07-18T19:16:39.000Z
Duration: 6 min 48 s

What if the problem isn't that you messed up, but that you believe you are the mess?

如果問題不在於你搞砸了，而在於你認為自己就是一團糟呢？

Let's talk about shame, the emotion behind that feeling.

讓我們來談談羞愧，談談這種感覺背後的情緒。

程度副詞

Shame can actually play two very different roles in our lives.

實際上，羞恥感在我們的生活中扮演著兩種截然不同的角色。

For example, if you miss a meeting, healthy shame helps you acknowledge this mistake, apologize, and make amends.

例如，如果你錯過了一次會議，健康的羞恥感會幫助你承認錯誤、道歉並做出補償。

But toxic shame tells you you're not just unreliable, but fundamentally flawed, making you feel unworthy of forgiveness.

但有毒的羞恥感告訴你，你不僅不可靠，而且有根本的缺陷，讓你覺得不值得原諒。

這比一般的內疚或悔恨更深刻。

While healthy shame focuses on what you did, toxic shame attacks who you are.

健康的羞恥感側重於你做了什麼，而有毒的羞恥感則攻擊你是誰。

If this resonates, know this, you were not born feeling this way.

如果你對此有共鳴，請知道，你並非生來就有這種感覺。

Toxic shame is learned from harsh criticism, unmet expectations, or traumatic experiences that affect how you see yourself.

毒害性羞恥感是從嚴厲的責備、未達到的期望或創傷經歷中學來的，這些都會影響你對自己的看法。

By the end of this video, you'll not only recognize the voice of toxic shame, you'll also learn how to silence it and be free.

在本視頻結束時，你不僅能辨別出 "有毒羞恥 "的聲音，還能學會如何讓它閉嘴，獲得自由。

You might feel like if people knew the real you, they'd judge you or cut you off.

你可能會覺得，如果人們知道了真實的你，他們就會對你評頭論足或與你絕交。

It's okay to feel scared, but what's not okay is allowing shame to control how you see yourself.

感到害怕沒關係，但讓羞恥感控制你對自己的看法就不好了。

Maybe this feeling started when you were little, you learned to hide parts of yourself because of or rejection.

也許這種感覺從你小時候就開始了，你學會了隱藏自己的一部分，因為或拒絕。

The more you hide, the stronger the shame gets, but letting someone in just a little bit could help break that cycle.

你藏得越深，羞恥感就越強，但只要讓別人知道一點點，就能打破這種循環。

It might be uncomfortable at first, but it's worth it to be seen and heard.

一開始可能會不舒服，但能被看到和聽到是值得的。

Do you forgive others for their mistakes, but find it hard to do the same for yourself?

你是否原諒了別人的錯誤，卻發現很難對自己也這樣做？

Maybe when a friend messes up, you're offer them a reassuring hug saying, it's okay, you can do better next time.

也許當朋友搞砸了，你會給他們一個安慰的擁抱，說：沒關係，下次你可以做得更好。

But when you make a mistake, you're quick to tell yourself, that was stupid, I should have known better.

但當你犯錯時，你會很快告訴自己，那是愚蠢的，我應該知道得更清楚。

Listen, self-compassion isn't always something we're taught or encouraged to practice.

聽著，自我同情並不總是我們被教導或鼓勵去實踐的東西。

Society often emphasizes self-reliance and achievement.

社會往往強調自力更生和取得成就。

As a result, it becomes harder to treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we show others.

是以，我們就很難像對待他人那樣善待和理解自己。

Imagine if you treated yourself with the compassion you extend to your friends.

試想一下，如果你像對待朋友一樣對待自己。

Remember toxic shame thrives on self-defeating thoughts, so try replacing them with self-compassion.

記住，有毒的羞恥感是在自我否定的想法中滋生的，所以試著用自我同情來代替它們。

You deserve the same grace you're so willing to give those around you.

你應該得到你願意給予周圍人的同樣的恩典。

Toxic shame makes you think you have to be perfect to be loved or accepted by others.

中毒性羞恥感會讓你覺得自己必須完美無缺，才能得到他人的愛或接受。

So you try to be flawless, thinking that if you just get everything right, maybe you'll finally be good enough and fully accepted.

是以，你努力做到完美無瑕，認為只要把一切都做好，也許你最終就會足夠優秀，被完全接受。

Perfectionism is a trap, a dangerous form of self-imprisonment.

完美主義是一個陷阱，是一種危險的自我囚禁。

It's like climbing a ladder that never ends.

這就像爬梯子，永遠爬不到盡頭。

True self-worth comes not from being perfect, but from accepting yourself as you are.

真正的自我價值不是來自於完美，而是來自於接受自己的本來面目。

Remember this, no one is perfect, no one will ever be, and that's okay.

記住這一點，沒有人是完美的，也不會有人是完美的，這沒關係。

Keep improving, but never chase perfection.

Healthy shame lets you hear constructive criticism without breaking, but toxic shame makes it personal.

健康的羞恥感會讓你聽到建設性的責備，而不會讓你崩潰，但有毒的羞恥感會讓責備變成個人行為。

When someone gives you feedback, whether it's constructive or just a little suggestion, if your first thought is, I'm terrible at this, that's toxic shame at play.

當有人給你反饋時，不管是建設性的還是小小的建議，如果你的第一反應是 "我做得很糟糕"，那就是 "有毒的羞恥心 "在作祟。

Healthy shame allows you to take feedback, learn from it, and improve.

健康的羞恥感能讓你接受反饋，從中吸取教訓，並加以改進。

But your toxic shame takes every little bit of criticism as a brutal punch to your entire self-worth.

但是，你的 "有毒羞恥心 "會把每一點責備都當成是對你整個自我價值的沉重打擊。

You're not a failure just because you made a mistake.

Feedback is a tool to help you grow, not a verdict on your worth.

反饋是幫助你成長的工具，而不是對你價值的評判。

Toxic shame keeps you trapped in the past.

有毒的羞恥感會讓你被困在過去。

You replay every awkward comment or bad decision asking yourself, why did I do that?

你會回放每一個尷尬的評論或錯誤的決定，問自己：我為什麼要那麼做？

Maybe you keep thinking about a conversation from days ago, like an awkward comment you made during a job interview, wishing you had just said something different.

也許你一直在回想幾天前的一次談話，比如你在求職面試時說了一句令人尷尬的話，希望自己當時說了些不同的話。

Or perhaps you fixate on a situation you wish had gone better, wondering if people are still judging you.

又或者，你會糾結於自己希望情況會好一些的想法，懷疑人們是否還在評判你。

Worst of all, you feel even more ashamed for feeling this way.

最糟糕的是，你會為自己的這種感覺感到更加羞愧。

But here's something important to remember.

Most people aren't judging you nearly as harshly as you're judging yourself.

大多數人對你的評價並沒有你對自己的評價那麼嚴厲。

It's time to let go of the guilt, forgive yourself, and move forward.

是時候放下內疚，原諒自己，繼續前進了。

You're only human and messing up is a part of life and growth.

你只是個普通人，搞砸是生活和成長的一部分。

You believe you're inner critic, but you shouldn't.

你相信自己是內心的批評者，但你不應該相信。

Does the way you talk to yourself sound like the voices you grew up hearing?

你自言自語的方式是否像你從小聽到的聲音？

This critical voice often stems from childhood, maybe from overbearing parents, a harsh teacher, or past trauma.

這種批判性的聲音往往源於童年，可能是父母的霸道、老師的嚴厲或過去的創傷。

It may have started as a way to keep you in check, but over time it became your default way of talking to yourself.

一開始，它可能是一種讓你保持自制的方式，但隨著時間的推移，它變成了你默認的自言自語的方式。

It's the voice that says, nothing you do is good enough, or why are you so messed up?

這個聲音說："你做的一切都不夠好，或者你為什麼這麼糟糕？

It was shaped by experiences that influenced how you saw yourself.

這些經歷影響了你對自己的看法。

為了讓它安靜下來，請花點時間反思一下。

What toxic things were you told while growing up?

在你的成長過程中，你被告知過哪些有毒的事情？

How did those messages shape your beliefs about yourself?

這些資訊是如何塑造你對自己的信念的？

For example, I can mess up, but that doesn't make me a failure.

例如，我可能會搞砸，但這並不意味著我是失敗者。

Remind yourself that these thoughts are just old negativity, not your reality.

提醒自己，這些想法只是陳舊的負面情緒，不是你的現實。

Over time, you'll replace every harsh thought with kindness and a belief in your ability to grow.

隨著時間的推移，你會用善意和對自己成長能力的信念取代每一個苛刻的想法。

Toxic shame is a learned response that can be unlearned.

有毒的羞恥感是一種後天習得的反應，是可以解除的。

Every mistake or failure presents an opportunity to think differently, more positively, and more kindly towards yourself.

每一次錯誤或失敗都是一次機會，讓我們以不同的方式、更積極的態度、更友善的態度來對待自己。

Each moment you choose compassion over judgment, every time you forgive yourself and move forward, you create space for transformation.

每當你選擇同情而不是評判的時候，每當你原諒自己並向前邁進的時候，你就為轉變創造了空間。

So start embracing your imperfections today.

所以，今天就開始擁抱你的不完美吧。

Reach out for support if you need it, and challenge those negative beliefs.

如有需要，請尋求支持，並挑戰那些消極的信念。

每一次跌倒，你都會收穫智慧。

So what are you ready to forgive yourself for today?

那麼，今天你準備原諒自己什麼呢？

And if you want to maintain this positive energy, make sure to watch our next video, how to use your negative thinking to your advantage.

如果你想保持這種正能量，請務必觀看我們的下一個視頻，如何利用你的負面思維為你帶來好處。

Thanks so much for being here, and we'll see you soon.

非常感謝你們的到來，我們很快就會再見面。