Name: 不堪重負時如何尋求幫助 (How to Ask for Help When You're Overwhelmed)
Uploaded: 2025-06-17T17:28:21.000Z
Duration: 4 min 45 s

程度副詞

For very understandable reasons, we spend an enormous amount of energy trying to make sure that we come across to other people as sane, balanced and normal.

出於可以理解的原因，我們花費了大量精力，試圖確保自己在別人眼中是理智、平衡和正常的。

We know the reality is a little bit more complicated, but for much of our lives, we're able to keep matters more or less under wraps.

我們知道現實要複雜一些，但在我們生活的大部分時間裡，我們或多或少都能把事情掩蓋起來。

情態副詞

There may have been a few extreme moments on our own in the bedroom or bathroom or driving in the car or coming home late on a train, but generally, we'll have drawn tight boundaries around the crises and no one will have known.

在臥室、浴室、開車或乘火車晚歸時，我們可能會有一些極端的時刻，但一般來說，我們會為危機劃定嚴格的界限，沒有人會知道。

But then, if we're unlucky, and probably if we're just human, life will test us more than this.

但是，如果我們運氣不好，或許如果我們只是普通人，生活對我們的考驗將不止於此。

At some stage, we'll end up in a situation that blows apart our normal abilities to cope, which destroys our capacity for perspective, for reason, calm and mastery.

在某個階段，我們最終會遇到一種情況，這種情況會摧毀我們正常的應對能力，破壞我們的透視能力、理智、冷靜和掌控能力。

It might be something at work or in our relationship, a financial or a health issue, something to do with reputation or with family responsibility.

可能是工作上的事，也可能是人際關係中的事，可能是經濟問題，也可能是健康問題，可能與名譽有關，也可能與家庭責任有關。

As the problem continues to grow, we will realize that we are in uncharted waters, that we are entirely overwhelmed and that we don't know whom to turn to.

隨著問題的不斷擴大，我們會意識到，我們正處於未知的水域，我們完全不知所措，我們不知道該向誰求助。

Sadly, it isn't uncommon that our thoughts may eventually grow very dark indeed.

可悲的是，我們的思想最終可能變得非常黑暗，這並不罕見。

In our private agony, we may start to imagine that it really would be better if we didn't exist and that there might be only one way to stop the pain.

在私下的痛苦中，我們可能會開始想象，如果我們不存在，那真的會更好，而且可能只有一種方法可以停止痛苦。

If we're to survive, and there truly may be nothing less at stake, we're going to need to be very brave indeed.

如果我們要生存下去，而且可能真的沒有什麼比這更重要的了，我們就必須非常勇敢。

We're going to need to break the isolated habits of a lifetime and take someone else into our confidence.

我們需要打破一生中與世隔絕的習慣，將別人納入我們的信心之中。

Every impulse may tell us to manage things alone, we're trained to fear confession, we are experts in not revealing our vulnerabilities.

每一種衝動都可能告訴我們要獨自處理事情，我們被訓練得害怕坦白，我們是不暴露自己弱點的專家。

At the same time, we don't have a choice any longer, we might not make it if we don't speak.

同時，我們別無選擇，如果我們不說話，就可能無法成功。

And so, we may simply have to write a message or a letter a bit like this to someone close to us, whom we hoped never to have to depend on to this extent.

是以，我們可能只需要給我們身邊的某個人寫一封類似於這樣的口信或信件，我們希望永遠不必在這種程度上依賴他。

I'm so sorry to bother you with this, something a bit difficult's come up, please forgive me for taking up your time, I thought I could cope but I can't, I'm feeling overwhelmed and didn't know whom to turn to.

很抱歉打擾您，我遇到了一些棘手的事情，請原諒我佔用了您的時間，我以為我能應付得來，但我做不到，我感到不知所措，不知道該向誰求助。

The reality is that we may not have an ideal friend in the vicinity, perhaps the person we've picked is a little gouch or easily scared or busy.

現實情況是，我們身邊可能沒有一個理想的朋友，也許我們選中的人有點笨拙，或者容易害怕，或者很忙。

But we can't wait for perfection to arrive, we need another mind to help us where our own has faltered.

但是，我們不能等待完美的到來，我們需要另一種思想來幫助我們彌補自己的不足。

I wonder if I might drop in on you after work, or perhaps we can have a call one evening.

不知道下班後我是否可以去拜訪你，或者我們可以在某個晚上打個電話。

We may in any case be underestimating what they can deal with, we may have colluded with them to keep matters fun and superficial over the years, but they, like we, will have their complexities.

無論如何，我們可能低估了他們的處理能力，多年來我們可能與他們串通一氣，讓事情變得有趣而膚淺，但他們和我們一樣，也會有其複雜性。

And may be a lot more adept at navigating the messiness of life than we imagine.

他們可能比我們想象的更善於駕馭混亂的生活。

We may be very surprised by what others can deal with when we need them.

當我們需要他人時，他們的處理能力可能會讓我們大吃一驚。

I hope this isn't too surprising, I'm sure I can get through this, but right now I'm a bit at sea.

我希望這不會太令人吃驚，我相信我能度過難關，但現在我有點不知所措。

The price of survival has to be a drop in pride.

生存的代價必須是自尊心的下降。

They'll have to see us crying, they'll have to know we've done a foolish or embarrassing thing, we'll have to show that we're not as mentally coherent as we wanted to be.

他們必須看到我們哭泣，他們必須知道我們做了一件愚蠢或令人難堪的事情，我們必須顯示出我們的精神並不像我們希望的那樣連貫。

We'll need to admit to our confusion, sorrow and guilt, it's hugely awkward and absolutely not our first choice, but if we act, we'll have a chance to reach our 80s and maybe see some grandchildren.

我們需要承認自己的困惑、悲傷和內疚，這非常尷尬，也絕對不是我們的首選，但如果我們行動起來，我們就有機會活到 80 歲，也許還能看到孫子。

We underestimate how much we all love to be needed, how much we long to be able to help others as a way to make ourselves feel less useless and alone.

我們低估了自己有多喜歡被人需要，我們有多渴望能夠幫助他人，以此讓自己不再感到無用和孤獨。

We may almost be doing someone else a favor, rescuing them from a sense of isolation.

我們幾乎是在幫別人的忙，把他們從孤獨感中解救出來。

等我見到你，我會好好解釋的。

There will probably be tears when we eventually narrate our story, we'll think we're pathetic, but any kind onlooker will simply take us to be touching and brave.

當我們最終講述自己的故事時，可能會有人流淚，我們會覺得自己很可憐，但任何善良的旁觀者都會認為我們很感人，很勇敢。

With any luck, the friend will know more or less what to say, the confession will help hugely, some perspective will be found and the friendship will become deeper than any we've yet had.

如果運氣好的話，朋友或多或少會知道該說什麼，懺悔會有很大幫助，會找到一些視角，友誼也會變得比以往任何時候都深厚。

We'll eventually be able to look back on this nightmarish period with a shudder, but also immense gratitude.

回顧這段噩夢般的歲月，我們最終會不寒而慄，但也會無比感激。

We'll have learned a lesson in not keeping it all to ourselves and, almost without knowing it, we'll start to emit suggestions to others that we would be someone to talk to during the worst days of their lives.

我們會吸取教訓，不再把所有事情都憋在心裡，而且幾乎在不知不覺中，我們會開始向別人暗示，在他們人生中最糟糕的日子裡，我們是可以傾訴的對象。