Name: 喬·史都華邀請川普一家參加辯論！伊朗戰爭怎麼辦？ | The Daily Show (Jon Stewart Invites Panel of Trumps to Debate Iran War | The Daily Show)
Uploaded: 2026-03-18T21:38:05.000Z
Duration: 19 min 40 s

程度副詞

Man, I think I might have come in too hot.

John Stewart, we got a great one for you tonight.

Jon Stewart，今晚我們有個很棒的節目要給你。

Later on, I'm going to be joined by the mayor of San Jose, California, Matt.

稍後，我會和加州聖荷西市長 Matt 一起。

He is one of the over 400 candidates currently running for governor of California in the Democratic primary.

他是目前在民主黨初選中角逐加州州長職位的 400 多名候選人之一。

But first, as you're well aware, a terrible war has been raging for two weeks now.

但首先，正如你所知，一場可怕的戰爭已經持續兩週了。

But as of last night, it is clear that opera and ballet have defeated Timothee Chalamera.

但到昨晚為止，很明顯歌劇和芭蕾已經打敗了提摩西夏勒梅。

A knockout even before they brought out prima ballerina Misty Copeland in the middle of the sinners performance right in front of him.

甚至在他們讓首席芭蕾舞者 Misty Copeland 在罪人表演中場，就在他面前登場之前，就已經是壓倒性的勝利了。

So opera, ballet, Can't wait to switch out my Ukrainian flag profile picture for the playbill to Deflater Mouse.

所以歌劇、芭蕾，我迫不及待想把我的烏克蘭國旗頭像換成《Deflater Mouse》的劇照了。

I like how we put in parentheses there the bat.

我喜歡我們在那裡括號裡放了「蝙蝠」。

As though that's not common knowledge amongst the people, by the way.

好像這不是大家普遍知道的常識一樣。

Also another conflict with a less certain outcome.

另外還有另一場結果不太確定的衝突。

Let's get into it right now with our ongoing coverage.

我們現在就來深入探討，繼續為你報導。

As many of you know, war is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

就像你們很多人知道的，戰爭是上帝教美國人地理的方式。

我來告訴你荷莫茲海峽的真實情況。

Of course Gen Z will tell you no, Hormuz is 100% straight, but

當然，Z世代會告訴你不是，荷莫茲是百分之百直的，但

it's a passageway choke point for 20% of the world's oil.

它可是全球20%石油的通道咽喉點。

Not to be confused with the strategic Iranian island of Kharg, which we also attacked.

別跟我們也攻擊過的戰略性伊朗島嶼哈爾格混淆。

We attacked Kharg and Hormuz because if we've learned anything from these past 20 years, it's that America will bomb anywhere that has a scrabble score above 12.

我們攻擊了哈爾格和荷莫茲，因為如果我們從過去二十年學到什麼，那就是美國會轟炸任何拼字分數超過12的地方。

喔，烏茲別克，我們也會處理你的。

And you guys, you're not going to believe what Iran did after we attacked them.

還有你們，你們絕對不敢相信我們攻擊伊朗之後他們做了什麼。

The Supreme Leader said that the Strait of Hormuz, which is a critical shipping lane for nearly 2 20% of the world's crude oil, will remain closed.

最高領袖說，佔全球近20%原油運輸通道的荷莫茲海峽將保持關閉。

Is this because of the incessant bombing?

We're going to play the one card we have to stop you from collapsing all of our infrastructure.

我們要打出我們唯一能阻止你摧毀我們所有基礎設施的牌了。

Gas prices up, diesel prices up, jet fuel prices up.

汽油價格上漲，機油價格上漲，噴射燃料價格上漲。

And in some quarters you're beginning to hear whispers of concerns over the R word recession.

而有些地方已經開始聽到對衰退這個詞的擔憂。

How dare Iran and their existential fight for existence inconvenience our commute?

伊朗跟他們為生存而戰，竟然會妨礙我們通勤，真是豈有此理？

Oh, this whole thing is the R word, all right.

喔，整件事就是個「衰退」，沒錯。

That's not the R word I would use for the decision to attack Iran.

但我不會用「衰退」這個詞來形容攻擊伊朗的決定。

But Iran has now closed the Strait of Hormuz, leading to surging gas prices and risking the global economy.

但伊朗現在已經封鎖了荷姆茲海峽，導致油價飆漲，並危及全球經濟。

Of course, there was no way to know that that was going to happen.

當然，當時根本不可能知道會發生這種事。

General Dan Kane, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, warned President Trump that Iran could close the Strait of Hormuz.

參謀長聯席會議主席丹·凱恩將軍警告川普總統，伊朗可能會封鎖荷姆茲海峽。

President Trump acknowledged the risk, but told his team that Tehran would likely capitulate before closing the street.

川普總統承認了風險，但告訴他的團隊，德黑蘭很可能會在封鎖海峽前就屈服。

Gee, who would have thought that a guy who did this during a solar eclipse.

哎呀，誰能想到一個在日食期間做這種事的人。

By the way, my favorite part of that goes, he looks up at a solar eclipse three times.

順帶一提，我最喜歡的部分是，他抬頭看了三次日食。

This sudden bottleneck of the world's oil supply, it's not a big deal.

這種突然發生的全球石油供應瓶頸，其實沒什麼大不了的。

The only thing prohibiting transit in the straits right now is Iran shooting at shipping.

現在唯一阻止海峽通行的，就是伊朗朝船隻開槍。

It is open for transit should Iran not do that.

如果伊朗不這麼做，海峽是可以通行的。

Other than Epstein, it's a wonderful island.

除了愛普斯坦之外，這座島很棒。

So right now, the ships cannot make the passage because they're being attacked, and

所以現在，船隻無法通過，因為牠們正遭到攻擊，而且

There were some mines that have been laid.

It's going to take a lot of foresight and planning to thread this needle, come up with a strategic plan.

需要很多遠見和規劃才能巧妙地解決這個問題，提出一個策略。

I also asked the President about the rise in oil prices, $100 a barrel.

我也問了總統關於油價上漲，每桶一百美元的事。

These ships got to go through the Strait of Hormuz and show some guts.

這些船隻必須通過荷姆茲海峽，展現一些膽識。

Show some guts, Captains Philip, I know you may not want to sail the slowest moving vehicle on Earth, packed with the most flammable liquid on Earth, through the most active war zone on Earth.

展現膽識吧，船長們，我知道你們可能不想駕駛地球上移動最慢的載具，載著地球上最易燃的液體，穿越地球上戰事最頻繁的區域。

You know, maybe there's an easier solution to the myriad difficulties that have arisen from a hasty war of choice that seems light on plans for the inevitable unforeseen consequences and contingencies.

你知道，也許對於一場倉促選擇開打的戰爭所引發的無數困難，有一個比較簡單的解決方案，這場戰爭似乎對不可避免的意外後果和應變措施的計畫不足。

The Trump administration is threatening to go after US TV networks for their coverage of the war with Iran.

川普政府威脅要追究美國電視網對伊朗戰爭報導的責任。

如果我們根本沒聽到這個消息呢？

Do this war better, or make sure that the news networks only tell you that we are doing this war better.

要嘛把這場戰爭打得更好，要嘛確保新聞網只告訴你我們把這場戰爭打得更好。

I know which one FCC Chairman Brendan Carr prefers?

我知道 FCC 主席 Brendan Carr 會選哪一個？

FCC Chairman Brendan Carr posted this on X quote, broadcasters that are running hoaxes and news distortions, also known as the fake news, have a chance now to correct course before their license renewals come up.

FCC 主席 Brendan Carr 在 X 上發文說，那些散播假新聞、扭曲報導的電視臺，現在有機會在執照更新前修正方向。

You better not lie and give misinformation about how this war is going.

你最好不要說謊，提供關於這場戰爭進展的錯誤資訊。

Did the United States bomb a girl's elementary school?

美國有炸毀一間小學女生學校嗎？

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喬·史都華邀請川普一家參加辯論！伊朗戰爭怎麼辦？ | The Daily Show (Jon Stewart Invites Panel of Trumps to Debate Iran War | The Daily Show)

critical

desperate

straight

achieve