Name: 驚人進展！太空垃圾危機四伏？哥倫布前就有的梅毒？迷幻菇的魔法？健身房的致命細菌？ (Meanwhile... Deadly Space Junk | Pre-Columbian Syphilis | Mushroom Magic | Gym Germs)
Uploaded: 2026-02-12T17:09:42.000Z
Duration: 5 min 41 s

Hey, give it up for Louis Cato and the band.

嘿，掌聲鼓勵一下 Louis Cato 和樂團！

Tonight we have one of my favorite political guests we've had over in the past year.

今晚我們請到了一位我非常喜歡的政治來賓，是過去一年來我們邀請過的。

We have Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro will be out here in just a little while talking about how states can respond to what's going on.

賓州州長 Josh Shapiro 等一下就會來到現場，跟大家聊聊各州該如何應對目前發生的事情。

各位觀眾，如果你有看這個節目，

I hope you do, you know that I spend most of my time right over there in the news factory hand polishing the most topical clear and satin crystal story panels decorated in femme bras, leve and jul de pipot patterns to create the stunning yet elegant Lalique Serene 40 Prism Chandelier that is my nightly monologue.

我希望你有看，你知道我大部分的時間都待在那邊的「新聞工廠」，親手打磨最熱門、最清晰、最緞面的水晶故事面板，上面裝飾著 femme bras、leve 和 jul de pipot 圖案，來打造我每晚脫口秀裡那令人驚豔卻又優雅的 Lalique Serene 40 Prism Chandelier。

But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, while coming down from a tranq bender, I fall out of an H vac duct into an abandoned spirit Halloween strip the power cable from a busted mini fridge and jack it into an old fire exit to make the burnout scrap lamp of news.

但有時候，真的就是有時候，各位，在鎮定劑藥效退去時，我會從通風管裡摔出來，掉進一家廢棄的 Spirit Halloween 店裡，拔掉一臺壞掉小冰箱的電源線，然後接上一個舊的逃學生出口，來製作這個「新聞燃燒廢品燈」。

It's like a hand warmer for the soul is what that is.

那就像個暖暖包，溫暖妳的心靈。

Meanwhile, in video games, there's big news for those who like the pew pews on the compuputer because the office's Michael and Dwight are coming to Fortnite.

同時，在電玩遊戲裡，電腦上喜歡「砰砰砰」的玩家們有大消息了，因為辦公室裡的 Michael 和 Dwight 要進駐 Fortnite 了。

沒錯，你可以感覺到大家都很興奮。

It's the biggest video game sitcom crossover since Grand Theft franchise.

這是繼《俠盜獵車手》系列以來，最盛大的電玩情境喜劇跨界合作。

Fraser Niles running over that hooker was criminal.

Fraser Niles 把那個妓女撞飛實在太犯規了。

Meanwhile, scientists have found a new way to track space junk falling out of orbit and crashing toward earth and which could collide with buildings and people.

同時，科學家們發現了一種追蹤即將脫離軌道並墜落地球的太空垃圾的新方法，這些垃圾可能會撞上建築物和人群。

Yeah, we can't have space junk falling out of the sky and crushing us.

對啊，我們可不能讓太空垃圾從天上掉下來砸死我們。

That's taking jobs of decent hard working window air conditioners.

那是在搶那些勤奮工作的窗型冷氣的飯碗。

They're all over the place and you never think about them.

它們隨處可見，你卻從沒想過它們。

Meanwhile, in air travel news, the sandwich chain Subway has announced that they're giving away free subs to middle seat passengers.

同時，在航空旅行新聞方面，三明治連鎖店 Subway 宣佈要免費送潛艇堡給坐在中間座位的乘客。

所以，坐在靠窗座位的朋友們，這是個好消息。

That guy next to you is clipping his toenails and watching porn on his iPad.

你旁邊那個人正在剪腳指甲，還在 iPad 上看 A 片。

他拿到一個長達一英尺的鮪魚潛艇堡。

To be clear, there are some restrictions.

說清楚一點，確實有一些限制。

The promotion is valid only for travelers on flights departing Tuesday, January 27th and who register and submit proof of their mid seat assignment.

這項促銷活動僅適用於在1月27日星期二出發的班機上的旅客，且需完成註冊並提交中間座位分配證明。

Well, I wasn't going to fly tomorrow, but

嗯，我本來不打算明天飛的，但是

now that there's a ton of red tape for a sandwich, I will see you in Cleveland.

現在為了個三明治有這麼多繁文縟節，我克里夫蘭見了。

A 5,500-year-old DNA shows that syphilis was rooted in the Americas before Columbus.

一份有5,500年歷史的DNA顯示，梅毒在哥倫布之前就已根植於美洲。

And science is pretty sure it all started with this guy.

科學家們 pretty sure 這一切都始於這位仁兄。

By the way, researchers pulled a sample of syphilis from a human shin bone.

順帶一提，研究人員從人類的脛骨中提取了梅毒樣本。

Meanwhile, in China, there's a mushroom making people hallucinate dozens of tiny humans.

同時，在中國，有一種蘑菇讓人類看到數十個小人。

Or, and hear me out, it's making people who eat the mushrooms into giants.

或者，聽我說，是讓吃下蘑菇的人變成巨人。

a burglary alarm at a New York bank was triggered by an intruding deer.

紐約一家銀行的一起竊盜警報，是被一隻闖入的鹿觸發的。

Experts say the deer was likely confused and disoriented and angry about overdraft fees.

專家說，這隻鹿很可能是因為感到困惑、迷失方向，以及對透支費感到憤怒。

How can you charge him money for not having enough money?

你怎麼能因為他錢不夠就收他錢？

Meanwhile, according to a new study, your post workout fingernails are 10 times dirtier than a toilet seat carrying a plethora of germs, including staphylococcus, enterococcus bacillus, and

同時，根據一項新研究，你運動後的手指甲比馬桶座還髒十倍，帶有大量的細菌，包括葡萄球菌、腸球菌桿菌，以及

大腸桿菌，這很可能是因為數百名健身房使用者共用同一套器材和沾滿汗水的墊子所造成的。

Coli, which likely stems from hundreds of other gym goers using the same equipment and sweaty mats.

這就是為什麼我在健身房時，會避開沾滿汗水的墊子。

That's why when I'm at the gym, I steer clear of sweaty matt.

他看起來就像被數百名健身房使用者用過一樣。

He looks like he's been used by hundreds of other gym goers.

同時，天文學家們發現了一朵神祕的金屬雲，正環繞著一個更神祕的東西運行。

Meanwhile, astronomers have spotted a mysterious metallic cloud orbiting something even more mysterious.

There hasn't been a scientific announcement this unhelpful since MIT researchers released this Magnets.

自從麻省理工學院的研究人員發布了這個「磁鐵」以來，還沒有過這麼沒幫助的科學公告。

We'll be right back with Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro.

我們馬上回來，繼續聽賓州州長 Josh Shapiro 的分享。

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驚人進展！太空垃圾危機四伏？哥倫布前就有的梅毒？迷幻菇的魔法？健身房的致命細菌？ (Meanwhile... Deadly Space Junk | Pre-Columbian Syphilis | Mushroom Magic | Gym Germs)

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