Name: 川普金卡有什麼？｜美國為何扣押油輪？｜AI 置入性行銷 (What You Get With The Trump Gold Card | Why Did The U.S. Seize An Oil Tanker? | AI Product Placement)
Uploaded: 2025-12-12T17:05:50.000Z
Duration: 11 min 57 s

Welcome one and all in here, out there, all around the world, Mr.

歡迎各位，無論是在這裡、在那裡，還是全世界的朋友們，

And Mrs. America and all the ships at sea to the Late Show.

以及各位美國朋友和所有海上船隻，來到 Late Show。

我是你們的主持人，Stephen Colbert。

各位知道嗎，現在已經是 December 的尾聲了。

He's making a list, checking it twice, then handing that list to the people at ice.

他正在列一份名單，仔細檢查兩次，然後把這份名單交給 ice 的人們。

Lately he's been pretty handsy, slapping his face on anything inside.

最近他手腳特別勤，把自己的臉印在任何東西上。

Yesterday, just yesterday, yesterday, he launched his long promised pay to play Visa program for rich foreigners.

昨天，就在昨天，昨天，他推出了他長期承諾的、讓有錢外國人付費才能玩的 Visa program。

You pay a million bucks, and in exchange, you get this.

你付一百萬美元，然後換來這個。

Quickly, quick message here to rich immigrants before you pony up.

快點，給有錢移民的簡短訊息，在你們掏錢之前。

你知道他們現在有 Katy Perry 了。

Yesterday, Trump debuted the Gold Card application website.

昨天，川普推出了 Gold Card 申請網站。

Then you scroll down and, ah, make him go away.

然後你往下滑，啊，讓他消失。

Now, besides the obvious virtue of letting rich people get things before mere humans, this card is supposed to squeeze cash out of businesses who want to hire skilled foreign workers.

現在，除了讓有錢人比普通人先拿到東西這個明顯的好處之外，這張卡還 supposed to 讓那些想聘請高技術外國員工的企業掏錢出來。

To do that, businesses will have to pay $2 million, plus a 1% annual maintenance fee of $20,000, plus a 5% transfer fee.

要做到這一點，企業必須支付 200 萬美元，外加每年 2 萬美元的維護費，再加上 5% 的轉讓費。

But if you sign up for the Trump Gold Card, you also get two free nights at a hotel of your choice, as long as it's the Tampa Marriott.

但如果你申請了 Trump Gold Card，你還可以免費入住兩晚你選擇的飯店，只要是 Tampa Marriott。

But don't worry, all Gold Card members will be screened.

但別擔心，所有 Gold Card 會員都會經過篩選。

Or as Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick put it, the best vetting the government has ever done.

或者商業部長 Howard Lutnick 所說的，這是政府做過最棒的背景調查。

$15,000 vetting to make sure these people absolutely qualify to be an American.

花 15,000 美元進行背景調查，確保這些人絕對有資格成為美國人。

You gotta prove you're qualified to be an American.

你必須證明你有資格成為美國人。

Question one, how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T shirt?

問題一，為了免費的 T恤，你會吃幾個漢堡？

It's a question we all have to face someday.

這是我們總有一天都必須面對的問題。

The Visa system is not the only place Trump's been sticking his kisser.

Visa system 並不是 Trump 唯一插手的地方。

His face will also replace images of national parks on annual park passes.

他的臉也會取代國家公園的圖像，出現在年度 park pass 上。

This is a major update to the passes, which used to feature like a cool lizard or a glorious pink bird or a stunning canyon or this beautiful mountain.

這是通行證的一項重大更新，以前通行證上會有很酷的蜥蜴、華麗的粉紅鳥、壯麗的峽谷或美麗的山。

All those we replaced with the new card featuring our first and possibly last presidents.

所有這些都被我們用新卡取代了，新卡上印著我們第一位，也可能是最後一位總統。

That really looks like the world's weirdest buddy comedy.

這看起來真的像是世界上最奇怪的搭檔喜劇。

But there may be a way to Stop this update actually, because folks are suing over the Trump park pass because there's a law detailing exactly how the images are supposed to be chosen and this isn't it.

不過，其實有個方法可以阻止這個更新，因為有人正在告 Trump park pass，因為有法律詳細規定了圖片應該如何挑選，而這不是。

The plaintiffs say blotting out the majesty of America's national parks with a close up of his own face is Trump's crassest most ego driven action yet.

原告說，用他自己的臉部特寫來遮蓋美國國家公園的壯麗景象，是 Trump 迄今為止最粗俗、最以自我為中心的行為。

And that quote is from the man who runs the non profit who is suing over the change, Kieran Suckling.

這句話來自起訴這項變更的非營利組織負責人 Kieran Suckling。

Suckling is the good guy here, I will not be making a joke about his last name, even though growing up with it must have totally Suckling.

Suckling 先生是這裡的好人，我不會拿他的姓氏開玩笑，儘管從小就姓這個一定很 Suckling。

You might remember and I don't care if you do.

你可能還記得，我不在乎你記不記得。

Earlier this year, Trump also unveiled the design for a $1 coin featuring his own face.

今年稍早，Trump 也公佈了一枚一美元硬幣的設計，上面有他自己的臉。

Well, now he's messing with more of your money because the Trump administration has scrapped plans to mint quarters to honor women's suffrage, the civil rights movement and the abolition of slavery.

不過，現在他又要動用更多你的錢了，因為 Trump 政府取消了要鑄造紀念女性投票權、民權運動和廢除奴隸制的25美分硬幣的計畫。

Nobody tell him the guy on the penny freed the slaves or he'll stop making those too.

別告訴他那個1美分硬幣上的人解放了奴隸，不然他連那個也不做了。

They're also minting new coins for America's 250th birthday, including changing George Washington's head on the quarter.

他們也將為美國250歲生日鑄造新硬幣，包括改變25美分硬幣上喬治·華盛頓的頭像。

It'll go from the classic Washington to this update.

這將從經典的華盛頓變成這個更新的版本。

I believe that captures the moment they told him he was going to be on a park pass with Trump on the it's callback.

我相信這捕捉到了他們告訴他他將會出現在 Trump park pass 上的那一刻，這是個呼應。

On the tail side of that particular version, they put a Revolutionary War soldier.

在那特定版本的背面，他們放了一位獨立戰爭的阿兵哥。

The third amendment of the Constitution is clear.

That might be the only third amendment joke ever on a late night talk show.

這可能是 Late Show 上唯一一個關於第三修正案的笑話。

Let's see what else has been happening around the world.

讓我們來看看世界上還有發生什麼事。

I'm sorry, sir, you had something you wanted to say?

抱歉，先生，您有什麼想說的嗎？

As you probably know, we've just seized a tanker on the coast of Venezuela.

您可能知道，我們剛在委內瑞拉海岸扣押了一艘油輪。

And I'm just curious, what happens to the oil on that tanker?

我只是很好奇，那艘油輪上的石油會怎樣處理？

You're not supposed to say the quiet part out loud.

Sir, Sir, I believe you meant to say we're bringing democracy to the tanker as part of Operation Enduring Gas Pump.

長官，長官，您想說的是，我們正在透過「持久油泵行動」為油輪帶來民主。

Now, there's a reason they did this, one imagines, but

現在，他們這麼做一定有原因，我想，但是

whatever it is, Venezuelan authorities condemned the seizure as an act of piracy.

無論是什麼原因，委內瑞拉當局都譴責這次扣押是海盜行為。

Well, I have to admit, Trump would make a great pirate.

嗯，我得承認，川普會是個很棒的海盜。

A lot of people, I'm hearing a lot of people.

Hook for a hand, peg leg, parrot on his shoulder.

一隻手是鉤子，一條腿是木腿，肩膀上還站著隻鸚鵡。