Dom: I finally moved out last summer

我去年夏天終於從家裡搬出去了

Guy: Wait a minute Dom 20...2017, 2016 so you were.. 25 when you moved out??

給我等一下，Dom

Dom: Yeah, I'm sorry. I couldn't move out in college, okay?I was broke, my parents were like

2017、2016...

Momma Dom: "Oh? you want to move out, huh? No, that's too expensive."

所以你在...25歲時才搬出家裡喔?

You could just commute two hours both ways ebrey (every) day.

對啦，我真的很抱歉沒能在大學時搬出去吼

Dom: WHAT?! EVERY DAY?!

我那時候身上沒錢，而我父母則是...

Momma Dom: Yes.

「你說你想搬出去住蛤?」

Dom: But that's like four hours every day?!

「不行!外面房子很貴!」

SCARY PHILIPINO MOMMA: EBURI DE (EVERY DAY)

「你大可每天花兩小時通勤就好了!」

Dom: And yeah, They were right.

啥?每...每一天?

On average, a decent apartment downtown was about $550 to $600 a month.

「對啦!」

A Go Bus monthly pass was about $80.

可...可是這樣來回就要4個小時耶!

I mean yeah, I saved a couple hundred dollars a month.

(去找　工作) 「就是每一天!」

But waking up at 5:00 a.m., just to make sure I'm in time for an 8:00 a.m.

至少他們說對一件事

class that I fall asleep in because I only got three hours of rest....

一間像樣的市區公寓月租平均要550到600美元

Not really worth it in my opinion.

但是公車定期月票只要80美元

And that is why you should try to make friends in college. (Unlike Dom)

對啦，這樣一個月是可以省下不少錢

Because one of them is bound to have a place you can crash at when you have to build a 1 to 20 scale model

但是每天早上5點就要起床

of your architectural design and don't want to risk some random dude on the bus

以確保自己能趕上早上8點的課

OBLITERATING IT because he didn't realize that his backpack was also a wrecking ball.

然後因為每天只睡3個小時 所以就在課堂上夢周公了

Bird Dom: Anyway, I left the nest. Pretty big milestone in my life.

...對我來說不怎麼值得

I really didn't have an emergency to move,

這就是為什麼你應該在大學裡廣交朋友

I mean, some people really want their independence early,

這樣就有人能提供地方讓你借住

and some people want to save money by staying with their parents,

好讓你能順利完成1:20的建築模型作業

some people simply get kicked out.

而且不用擔心你的建築模型會在公車上

I won't judge. Living away can be pretty expensive.

被某個背包和一顆大鐵球差不多的路人甲摧毀

I was comfortable at home, but I knew I was capable of taking care of myself.

總之，我開始獨立生活了

I just thought it was finally time. (to leave my poor parents alone)

絕對是我人生中的一個大里程碑

My parents really pushed for not moving out and having to rent a place.

(家) 我是沒有非得一定要離家自主不可

But to just save up and put a good downpayment to actually own one.

好比說有些人想盡早畢業獨立生活

And I'm pretty glad I saved up and waited.

有些人想靠著住在家裡省下一大筆錢

However I think the move wasn't as dramatic as it should have been,

有些人是被家裡趕出來吃自己

since my place is only like a 20 minute drive from my parents.

(薪水) 我對於住外面很花錢這點沒什麼意見

But I still have my freedom.

我對於住外面很花錢這點沒什麼意見

The actual move itself, though, was a pain.

(薪水/房租) 我對於住外面很花錢這點沒什麼意見

I like to think I didn't own that much,

我在家裡活得很好

but you really don't know how much you actually have

但我知道我可以照顧好自己

until you try to Tetris it into a U-Haul truck.

我只是覺得離家的時間到了而已

The place I picked out is a pretty nice condo

(Get The F**k Out:他*的快滾) 我只是覺得離家的時間到了而已

with a downtown area of my

(房租) 我被父母要求不准直接租房子

suburban city.

我被父母要求不准直接租房子

I went through a good amount of listings before deciding because a lot didn't have the right room layout

而是要存錢付頭期款把房子買下來

I wanted some didn't allow pets some had an amazing view of the dumpsters in the alley (wow, Dom.)

(抵押貸款) 而是要存錢付頭期款把房子買下來

I know many people are pretty restricted when it comes to choosing a place, but this was my first owned home.

我很高興當初我有乖乖去存錢

I saved up.$$$

對我來說，離開父母並沒有想像中那麼戲劇化

Imma get what I want! The previous owner, we'll call him dude WHAT THE HELL, renovated the place before selling it,

因為新的落角處距離我老家只需要開車20分鐘而已

so it pretty much looked like an IKEA model house.

但我仍舊保有自主權

And I know this because when I went to Ikea to shop for furniture. I noticed some decorations and shelves that dude WHAT THE HELL left behind when he moved out, but speaking of shelves?

我反而是在搬家過程時才受盡折磨

I don't think DUDE WHAT THE HELL knew how to assemble and mount the shelves or at least whoever he hired didn't.

我從不覺得我手上有很多東西

There was the shelf in the bedroom that I specifically asked DUDE WHAT THE HELL to dismount before the closing date.

但是你不會知道你手上有多少家當

It looked nice with the furniture he had, but I knew it wouldn't match mine,

直到你必須把所有物品硬塞進貨車裡

but when I moved in what do I find? THE DAMN SHELVES!

我的新家坐落於近郊商業區一棟還不錯的公寓裡

I was already kind of annoyed by DUDE WHAT THE HELL because he extended the closing date of the condo and was already late with moving out.

我在最後下決定之前看了非常多的房子

So I just decided to make the best of it and just use the shelf until I decided to dismount it myself

因為大部分的都沒有我想要的那種格局

One day,

(靠在一起的臥室) 因為大部分的都沒有我想要的那種格局

I decided to put a paper flower basket on top of the shelf and then in the middle of the night while I was sleeping,

有些不准養寵物

I just hear this loud THUD that woke me up in a slight panic

有些則是有好漂亮的巷子垃圾箱車美景

I find the basket and one of the shelf pieces on the floor. I was too tired to deal with it, so I went back to bed

我知道大家挑房子時多少會受到一些阻力

Totally could have been a murderer that knocked it over, but Nala (dog) wasn't barking at anything

但這是我買的第一個房子

so I trusted that I was safe. The next day I try to figure out why it fell I discovered that the shelf piece...

我可是有存錢的

wasn't even nailed or screwed on to the support piece that was attached to the wall. In fact it was simply glued on

我要什麼我說了算

judging by the ripped paint and no screw holes. So I decided to press lightly on the other shelf piece that was still attached.

這房子的前屋主，姑且稱呼他「搞什麼老兄」

Didn't stay that way very long. The piece became loose as well and eventually detached so I was left with this support piece that just

在把房子賣給我前，有將房間整修過

looked like a total eyesore. I decided screw the shelf!

搞得就像是IKEA展示間似的

Figuratively, I want it gone. I tried looking for screw holes to figure out how I could dismount this off the wall;

我會知道，是因為我後來去IKEA添購新家具時

I couldn't find any. Tried to pull the piece off the wall...

注意到了有些裝飾與架子 和搞什麼老兄留下的完全一模一樣

and then I realized, the whole thing was glued on! So I was left with this dumb ass block of wood

可是說到架子...

stuck on the wall because I didn't want to ruin the paint and drywall underneath it. A couple of days later

我不覺得搞什麼老兄會懂得組裝架子...

I go to Ikea to look for a desk. Passed by the shelving area and Lo and Behold

...或是他雇用的人懂得組裝

I discovered the same damn shelf DUDE WHAT THE HELL installed on the wall

我的臥室裡有一組架子

Or should I say the same two shelves apparently the pieces that were assembled together

我本來有特別要求 搞什麼老兄在交屋前把架子拆掉

don't even belong to the same build. The smaller pieces are meant to be hooked onto screws in a wall

雖然那個架子和他的家具很配

and the big piece is supposed to be mounted onto a protruding bracket that inserts into it.

但是我知道絕對和我的搭不起來

Dude, what the hell!?! You'd think that the moment you took out the glue you should have realized that something was off and that you

但是當我搬進去時，猜猜我看到什麼?

have veered away from the instructions intended for the shelf!

天殺的架子!!

I got a hunch that they actually knew how it was meant to be done

我本來就對搞什麼老兄有點不爽了

but were just too lazy to drill because later on I decided to mount a TV on the same wall in my room, and

因為他不僅擅自延後交屋期限

the wall is Concrete, and I don't know if you guys ever tried drilling into concrete, but it can be really annoying and yes

還逾期了才把房子交給我

I used a hammer drill with a proper drill bit so I think whoever mounted the shelf just couldn't be bothered with drilling and just

所以我只能打算好好利用這個架子

decided to glue it on. Definetly can't do that with a TV. Nevertheless

直到我決定把它拆掉為止

I do like my place overall. Great view of the city, convenient distance to nearby shops and my neighbours are

有一天，我在架子上放了一籃紙花

...great? I know that's a lie, my neighbours aren't the most desirable of people, one specifically has caused my roommates

當天半夜，我睡得正熟時

and I much trouble but that's a story for another day.

突然有一聲巨響把我嚇醒了

Might be a little bit inappropriate, but I'll tell you guys about it sometime.

我發現那籃紙花和其中一片小架子掉在地上

Far Away Dom: My neighbour's a prostitute

但我當時實在累到無心處理，所以就回去睡了

My advice is you don't really have to rush trying to move out. Unless it's really

雖然這有可能是強盜或殺人狂入侵

toxic at home, and you really need to get away from your family,

不過娜拉並沒有大吼大叫什麼的

or you murdered someone *BEEP* or you have work or school obligations

所以我就相信她了

that would be more beneficial if you moved out, but if your parents will let you stay home

隔天，我想搞清楚為什麼架子會掉下來時

*lip smack* save your rent money! Enjoy the homemade cooking while you still can.

我才發現那一片小架子...

Not going to lie. This was really just a complain about the glued shelf.

並不是用釘子或螺絲固定在大木板上

subtitles by: Diehard Domic fans

事實上，是用黏著劑黏在木板上!

Hey guys this video has been brought to you by Crunchyroll

因為木板上面有油漆痕，而且沒有螺絲孔

Head over to crunchyroll.com/domics (link in the description) to receive a FREE PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP for 30 days.

然後我決定在另一片 還沒掉下來的小架子上輕輕施力

That's a lot of time for some marathons. What perks do you get with premium?

用不了多久

Well, ad free and 1080p episodes as soon as one hour after release in Japan, not to mention

那片小架子在稍微鬆開後也跟著脫落了

they are professionally subtitled for your "authentic Japanese experience".

結果剩下的那一大塊木板看起來...

And there is also a convenient app on nearly every device

...真的超級礙眼

I know we just watched the beginning of Boku no Hero Academia with Jack, that was a lot of fun,

我打算把大木板整片幹掉

but the show is actually getting deep into season two right now.

更準確的說，老子要拆好拆滿

Plenty of time to catch up within those 30 days

我努力尋找著螺絲孔，好讓我能夠把木板拆下來...

Again, that's crunchyroll.com/domics, link below

...我找不到

ENJOY

使盡力氣要把木板拆下來...

Hi! You discovered secret message from: SUBTITLE AUTHORS! We wrote this all out for you earless people out there!

我這才發現...

(You're welcome.)

整片木板...是被黏在牆上的!!