Name: TED】Guy Winch:如何修復一顆受傷的心（How to fix a broken heart | Guy Winch）。 (【TED】Guy Winch: How to fix a broken heart (How to fix a broken heart | Guy Winch))
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T07:24:57.000Z
Duration: 12 min 26 s

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Marssi Draw

程度副詞

almost every one of us will have our heart broken.

幾乎每個人，在人生中的某個時點，都會遇到心碎的狀況。

My patient Kathy planned her wedding when she was in middle school.

我的病人凱西還在中學時就規劃了她的婚禮。

But when Kathy turned 27, she didn't find a husband.

但當凱西二十七歲時， 她沒有找到老公。

She went through many months of harsh chemotherapy

她經歷了很多個月的辛苦化療，

and then just as she was ready to jump back into the dating world,

接著，就在她準備要 跳回來約會的世界時，

她在另一邊的胸部發現了腫塊，

and she was eager to resume her search for a husband

她很熱切地想繼續尋找她的老公，

她打當眉毛長回來時就馬上行動。

When you're going on first dates in New York City,

當你在紐約市去赴第一次約會，

you need to be able to express a wide range of emotions.

你得要能夠表現出很多種情緒。

Soon afterwards, she met Rich and fell in love.

沒多久之後， 她遇見了雷奇，陷入熱戀。

The relationship was everything she hoped it would be.

這段感情完全是她所希望的那樣子。

在新英格蘭度過了 一個美好的週末後，

Rich made reservations at their favorite romantic restaurant.

雷奇訂了他們最喜歡的浪漫餐廳。

and she could barely contain her excitement.

But Rich did not propose to Kathy that night.

但那晚，雷奇並沒有向凱西求婚。

As deeply as he cared for Kathy -- and he did --

儘管他對凱西的關心很深 ──他真的關心過──

Her heart was truly broken, and she now faced yet another recovery.

她的心真的碎了， 她現在又要面臨一次復原。

Kathy still couldn't stop thinking about Rich.

Why was this incredibly strong and determined woman

為什麼這個極度堅強且堅定的女性，

unable to marshal the same emotional resources

that got her through four years of cancer treatments?

四年癌症治療同樣的情緒來源？

when we're trying to recover from heartbreak?

試著從心碎中復原時，都那麼掙扎？

that get us through all kinds of life challenges

fail us so miserably when our heart gets broken?

能幫我們走過各種人生中的困難，

卻在我們的心碎時刻， 完全派不上用場？

I have seen people of every age and background

我私人執業的時間超過二十年，

我見過各種年齡層、各種背景的人

the same instincts you ordinarily rely on

will time and again lead you down the wrong path.

You simply cannot trust what your mind is telling you.

會一而再，再而三地 引導你走向錯誤的路。

For example, we know from studies of heartbroken people

你就是不能相信你的大腦告訴你的。

that having a clear understanding of why the relationship ended

比如，我們從關於 心碎的人的研究得知，

is really important for our ability to move on.

清楚了解為什麼感情關係會結束

對於我們能否繼續 走下去是很重要的。

when we are offered a simple and honest explanation

我們得到的是一個 簡單且誠實的解釋，

Heartbreak creates such dramatic emotional pain,

our mind tells us the cause must be equally dramatic.

心碎會造成非常戲劇性的痛苦，

我們的大腦告訴我們， 它的成因一定也是同等戲劇性的。

it can make even the most reasonable and measured of us

come up with mysteries and conspiracy theories

甚至會讓最理性、最慎重的人，

Kathy became convinced something must have happened

凱西深信，在她和雷奇 浪漫之旅的過程中

and she became obsessed with figuring out what that was.

而她變得執著在要想出原因是什麼。

going through every minute of that weekend in her mind,

searching her memory for clues that were not there.

在腦中回想那個週末的每一分鐘，

Kathy's mind tricked her into initiating this wild goose chase.

在記憶中尋找根本不存在的線索。

But what compelled her to commit to it for so many months?

凱西的大腦騙了她， 讓她開始了這場徒勞的追尋。

Heartbreak is far more insidious than we realize.

但，是什麼強迫她投入 這麼多個月的時間？

There is a reason we keep going down one rabbit hole after another,

心碎比我們知道的 還要更會在暗中滋生。

even when we know it's going to make us feel worse.

這就是我們會重蹈覆徹的原因，

即使我們知道這麼做 會讓我們感覺更糟糕。

activates the same mechanisms in our brain that get activated

when addicts are withdrawing from substances like cocaine or opioids.

和成癮者要脫離古柯鹼 或鴉片這類物質時是一樣的。

And since she could not have the heroin of actually being with Rich,

her unconscious mind chose the methadone of her memories with him.

她的海洛因就是 和雷奇在一起，但她得不到，

Her instincts told her she was trying to solve a mystery,

她無意識的大腦選擇用 她和他的記憶當作止痛藥，

她的直覺告訴她， 她是在試著解一個謎團，

This is what makes heartbreak so difficult to heal.

他們在注射毒品時是有自覺的。

And if your heart is broken, you cannot ignore that.

You have to recognize that, as compelling as the urge is,

如果你的心碎了，你不能忽略它。

with every trip down memory lane, every text you send,

儘管衝動很難抗拒，你仍必須了解，

every second you spend stalking your ex on social media,

你每一次的回想， 你發出的每一則訊息，

你花在社交媒體上追蹤 前任情人的每一秒鐘，

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TED】Guy Winch:如何修復一顆受傷的心（How to fix a broken heart | Guy Winch）。 (【TED】Guy Winch: How to fix a broken heart (How to fix a broken heart | Guy Winch))

incredibly

immune

recognize

engage