Name: 結束時他們的表現 (How They Behave When It Ends)
Uploaded: 2025-10-22T18:32:32.000Z
Duration: 3 min 18 s

程度副詞

There's a peculiar and paradoxical way in which we can't really tell who our partner is until and unless our relationship with them comes to an end.

有一種很奇妙又矛盾的方式，就是我們在關係結束之前，真的無法確定誰才是我們的 partner。

Of course, we can know many things about them.

當然，我們可以知道他們很多事情。

How charming they can be, or how witty and entertaining, what accomplished friends or parents they make.

他們可以多麼迷人，或者多麼風趣、多麼討人喜歡，他們是多麼 accomplished 的朋友或父母。

But we aren't, for that matter, ever being shown the truly complete picture.

但實際上，我們從來沒有看過真正完整的全貌。

畢竟，他們是我們的妻子或丈夫。

They're meant to be with us until death, and therefore they have a reputation to defend.

他們應該跟我們在一起直到死亡，是以他們有 reputation 要維護。

They have an incentive to maintain affront.

However, once it's evident that things really will come to a close, that the lawyers are being called in the morning, that the removal van is outside, then the bets are off.

然而，一旦顯而易見事情真的要結束了，律師明天就會被找來，搬家公司就在外面，那一切就不好說了。

Furthermore, there may be fury, a sense of betrayal, a grief, a pent up rage, a terror.

此外，可能會出現憤怒、背叛感、悲傷、壓抑的怒氣、恐懼。

All ingredients that help one to lose command over one's more diplomatic faculties.

這些都是會讓人失去外交手腕的成分。

It's now, when it no longer matters, that we stand to gain our most telling glimpse of who we've actually been together with all these years.

就是現在，當這一切都不再重要時，我們才能最清楚地一窺這幾年來我們真正和誰在一起。

Sometimes, even often, the news is pretty sobering.

有時候，甚至常常，消息都相當令人清醒。

For a long time we took them to be touchingly shy and rather modest.

很久以來，我們都覺得他們害羞得令人感動，而且相當謙虛。

In the closing scenes, we discover that what they are most of all is appallingly immature when it comes to expressing their needs and willing to cause us immense pain in a bid to evade responsibility.

在最後的場景，我們發現他們最讓人受不了的是，在表達需求時極度不成熟，並且為了逃避責任，願意帶給我們巨大的痛苦。

Or for so long, we imagined that beneath a slightly steely exterior, they surely had deep feelings for us.

又或者，我們很長一段時間都以為，在他們有點冷酷的外表下，肯定對我們有著深厚的感情。

They were well defended, but they weren't with a emotion.

他們防禦心很重，但並非對情緒有所防備。

And yet, as we discover in the last months, perhaps they truly were.

然而，就像我們在最後幾個月發現的那樣，也許他們確實如此。

Without any care, there isn't a single tear.

毫無顧慮，連一滴眼淚都沒有。

They seem to be plainly and simply glad to see the back of us.

他們看起來就是單純地、高高興興地看著我們離開。

Maybe we weren't hallucinating during the relationship.

也許在我們的關係中，我們並沒有產生幻覺。

Maybe they just didn't like us very much.

To think that all along this kind of stuff was hidden below the surface and that it took an ending to make it clear.

沒想到這一切一直都藏在表面之下，直到結束才讓一切變得清晰。

But the news is not only and always grim.

不過，消息並非總是那麼令人沮喪。

In some cases we can discover enormous hope inducing decency.

在某些情況下，我們會發現令人振奮的、充滿善意的行為。

When they have every chance to exact revenge, they don't.

當他們有機會報復時，他們卻沒有。

When they no longer need to be nice, they remain so even when it isn't going to change anything.

當他們不再需要客氣時，他們依然保持友善，即使這不會改變任何事。

They work with us to achieve a good ending.

他們與我們合作，一起有個圓滿的結局。

They may also help us with a health issue or give us a loan.

他們也可能在我們生病時幫助我們，或是借錢給我們。

The index of a person's real character is how they behave towards those who are no longer of any use to them.

一個人真正品格的指標，在於他們如何對待那些對他們已不再有用的人。

Hence the wisdom of the saying we should marry the person that we would want to be divorced from.

這就是為什麼有句俗話說，我們應該嫁給一個我們願意離婚的人。

Or rather, we should want to be together with the person who it would be a heartwarming surprise.

或者更確切地說，我們應該想和一個，即使不再與他/她在一起，也會是溫馨驚喜的人在一起。

No longer to be with we can learn a lot from being with someone.

與某人在一起，我們可以學到很多，即使我們不再與他們在一起。

We may learn even more when we're no longer so.

我們可能在不再如此時學到更多。