Name: 粗魯的佛祖 - 星期六夜現場 (Rude Buddha - Saturday Night Live)
Uploaded: 2025-08-25T08:04:11.000Z
Duration: 4 min 9 s

Over 2,000 years ago, a man known as Buddha attained enlightenment while sitting beneath a banyan tree.

2000 多年前，一位被稱為佛陀的人坐在一棵榕樹下悟道。

他成為了一名教師和精神導師。

Yet for all his wisdom, the Buddha had another side, a side seen only by his closest disciples.

然而，佛陀的智慧也有另一面，這一面只有他最親密的弟子們才能看到。

偉大的佛陀，我的思緒總是飛速運轉。

How can I find enlightenment if I cannot find a moment's peace?

如果我找不到片刻的寧靜，又如何能找到啟迪？

A flower falls even though we love it, and a weed grows even though we do not love it.

即使我們愛它，花朵也會落下；即使我們不愛它，雜草也會生長。

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

And that guy's single step should be off a cliff.

而那傢伙的一步就應該是懸崖。

Buddha, should I accept things as they are?

No, you should accept that you're never getting laid.

不，你應該接受你永遠不會上床的事實。

Buddha, my husband's mother makes me so tense.

佛祖啊，我丈夫的母親讓我如此緊張。

I think my little Buddha just attained full consciousness.

我想我的小佛陀剛剛完全覺悟了。

Even when I am with my family, I think about my crops.

即使和家人在一起，我也會想著我的莊稼。

Uh, P.S., did you guys get a whiff of his breath?

還有，你們聞到他的呼吸了嗎？

Oh, yeah, she is just totally checked out.

哦，是的，她就是完全被檢查出來了。

Great Buddha, I feel that my meditation is not working.

大佛，我覺得我的冥想不起作用了。

Is there any way you can help me reach nirvana?

Come back tonight, say 11-ish, and we will meditate.

今晚回來，11 點左右，我們一起冥想。

And we will reach enlightenment together?

Uh, well, I'm definitely gonna get there.

You might have to work a little overtime.

Hope she's not Jewish, because she's as good as porked.

希望她不是猶太人，因為她和豬肉一樣好吃。

Yeah, if my tree falls in her forest, you better believe the neighbors are gonna hear it.

是啊，如果我的樹倒在她的森林裡 鄰居們肯定會聽到的

Buddha, we've been hearing everything you've been saying.

How can you treat your disciples this way?

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粗魯的佛祖 - 星期六夜現場 (Rude Buddha - Saturday Night Live)