Name: 30 年代以來的最高關稅 | 科爾伯特的收視率更高 | 小王子萬斯 (Highest Tariffs Since The '30s | Colbert Has Better Ratings | Little Prince Vance)
Uploaded: 2025-08-13T03:11:15.000Z
Duration: 9 min 36 s

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, to The Late Show.

女士們，先生們，各年齡段的孩子們，歡迎來到《深夜秀》。

Today... today is a significant day for our economy because, uh, it was just midnight last night, right?

今天......今天對我們的經濟來說是個重要的日子，因為，呃，昨晚才剛剛午夜，對吧？

Midnight last night, Trump's latest round of tariffs took effect, so I hope you remembered...

昨晚午夜，特朗普的最新一輪關稅生效，希望您還記得...

I hope you remembered to set your clocks back to more expensive.

我希望你記得把時鐘調回更貴的檔位。

They raise... they raise import taxes to the highest level since the Great Depression.

他們提高......他們將進口稅提高到大蕭條以來的最高水準。

Never a great sign to be compared to the worst thing ever.

與最糟糕的事情相提並論，絕不是什麼好兆頭。

Safety standards here at the nuclear power plant are at the lowest level since Chernobyl.

核電站的安全標準達到了切爾諾貝利事故以來的最低水平。

The tariffs, which, remember, American citizens and companies pay, are different depending on the country we're importing the product from.

請記住，美國公民和公司支付的關稅因產品進口國的不同而不同。

Countries that negotiated with Trump, like the E.U., face levies of, like, ten to 15%.

與特朗普談判的國家，如歐盟，將面臨 10%至 15%的徵稅。

But if the president's mad at you, they can be much higher.

但如果總統生你的氣，他們就會高得多。

For instance, Trump doubled tariffs on India to 50%, which will raise the price of items like gauze, bandages, and wadding.

例如，特朗普將對印度的關稅翻倍至 50%，這將提高紗布、繃帶和絮狀物等物品的價格。

Making the perfect time to introduce my new product, Steve's Wad.

現在是介紹我的新產品 Steve's Wad 的最佳時機。

You guys are really upset about the wadding getting more expensive.

你們真為填充物越來越貴而煩惱。

Another country Trump is punishing with 50% tariffs is Brazil, which is bad news for meat-based Americans.

另一個被特朗普徵收 50%關稅的國家是巴西，這對以肉類為主食的美國人來說是個壞消息。

Because in the first six months of this year, Brazil sent the U.S. over 180,000 tons of beef.

因為在今年上半年，巴西向美國運送了超過 18 萬噸牛肉。

這幾乎就是一個完整的傑森-莫莫亞。

Trump is also putting a 39% tariff on Switzerland, which will affect luxury goods.

特朗普還將對瑞士徵收 39% 的關稅，這將影響奢侈品。

For instance, the retail price of a Rolex Submariner could jump from $10,000 to nearly $14,000.

例如，勞力士潛航者系列的零售價可能從 10,000 美元躍升至近 14,000 美元。

Just this morning down on Canal Street, I got this genuine Rolex Submarginal.

就在今天上午，我在運河街上買到了這塊真正的勞力士 Submarginal。

I won it playing tic-tac-toe with a rooster.

我和一隻公雞玩井字遊戲贏的。

The hit this tariff will put on your wallet is already changing people's spending habits.

這一關稅對錢包的打擊已經在改變人們的消費習慣。

Yesterday, the CEO of McDonald's told investors, due to anxiety around tariffs, customers are not spending as freely as they were a year ago, and some are skipping the drive-thru altogether.

昨天，麥當勞首席執行官告訴投資者，由於對關稅的焦慮，顧客不再像一年前那樣隨意消費，有些人甚至完全不去自助餐廳。

Now, this means either Americans have stopped eating fast food or have been forced to do the unthinkable, eat somewhere other than their car.

現在，這意味著美國人要麼已經不再吃快餐，要麼被迫做一些不可思議的事情，在汽車以外的地方吃飯。

Companies are doing everything they can to dance away from Trump's random tariff beam, including Apple.

包括蘋果公司在內，各家公司都在想盡一切辦法躲避特朗普隨意挑起的關稅大梁。

Yesterday, Apple CEO Tim Cook was at the White House to pledge $100 billion in additional investments in the United States in order to avoid Trump's threat of tariffs on iPhones.

昨天，蘋果公司首席執行官蒂姆-庫克（Tim Cook）在白宮承諾在美國追加 1000 億美元的投資，以避免特朗普對 iPhone 徵收關稅的威脅。

現在，這 100 美元的賬單有一個問題。

Apple's products themselves will not be made in America because Apple says, according to their research, the U.S. has a smaller pool of workers with the skills necessary to assemble an iPhone.

蘋果公司的產品本身不會在美國製造，因為蘋果公司稱，根據他們的研究，美國擁有組裝 iPhone 所需技能的工人較少。

I believe America's children can do anything.

我相信美國的孩子們無所不能。

They got those little fingers, those little screws?

他們有那些小手指、小螺絲嗎？

Part of this deal is a modest increase in the use of Corning glass, manufactured in Kentucky.

這筆交易的一部分是適度增加使用肯塔基州生產的康寧玻璃。

And before he left the Oval, Cook gave Trump an engraved piece of the glass on a base made from a 24-karat gold bar, which sounds nice, but you know next year they're gonna use a different charging cable on the bar and you're gonna have to...

在離開橢圓形會議廳之前，庫克送給特朗普一塊刻有圖案的玻璃杯，底座是由24K金條製成的，聽起來不錯，但你知道明年他們會在金條上使用不同的充電線，你就不得不......

You're gonna have to go buy a 24-karat gold dongle.

你得去買一個 24K 金的加密狗。

After this lavish corporate bottom smooching, Trump responded by calling Tim Cook a complete wiener.

在這次奢侈的企業揩油之後，特朗普迴應稱蒂姆-庫克是個徹頭徹尾的維納。

He's a great, great man, a visionary, a businessman.

他是一個偉大的人，一個有遠見的人，一個商人。

Just about every quality you can have other than athleticism.

除了運動能力之外，他幾乎具備了你所能具備的所有素質。

Dear Tim, thanks, chicken legs, for the piece of glass you throw like a girl.

親愛的蒂姆，謝謝你，雞腿，謝謝你像女孩一樣扔出的那塊玻璃。

After Trump received a tribute from his billionaire supplicant, he moved on to more important topics, one of which was me.

在特朗普接受了他的億萬富翁支持者的致敬之後，他轉向了更重要的話題，其中之一就是我。

I don't know, but I would imagine because they'd get...

我不知道，但我可以想象，因為他們會得到...

You know, Colbert has better ratings than Kimmel or Fallon.

要知道，科爾伯特的收視率比金梅爾或法倫都要高。

但是......不，不，不，不，不，不。

To be fair, I think we're all equally untalented.

平心而論，我覺得我們都一樣沒有才華。

Anyway, I just want to say thank you for watching, sir, and thank you for agreeing to be in our new promo.

總之，我只想說，感謝您的收看，先生，感謝您同意參加我們的新宣傳片。

Stephen Colbert is number one in late night.

斯蒂芬-科爾伯特是深夜節目的頭號人物。

問問我們的老年觀眾就知道了。

Colbert has better ratings than Kimmel or Fallon.

科爾伯特的收視率比金梅爾和法倫都高。