Name: 孩子不信任你，是因為......你總是不在場 ► 聽精神分析師怎麼說 - Erica Komisar 艾瑞卡・柯米薩（中英字幕） (孩子不信任你，是因為.. 你總是不在場 ► 聽聽精神分析師怎麼說 - Erica Komisar 艾瑞卡・柯米薩（中英字幕）)
Uploaded: 2025-08-06T04:59:23.000Z
Duration: 3 min 44 s

There's three kinds of attachment disorders.

是以，健康的依戀關係是這樣的

When you return home, your child feels so securely attached to you, meaning you've gone out for an hour or two for dinner with your spouse.

當你回到家時，你的孩子會覺得和你在一起很有安全感，這意味著你已經和配偶出去吃了一兩個小時的晚飯。

You come home and your baby is happy to see you and the reunion, what we call the reunion, is a beautiful reunion.

你回到家，你的孩子見到你很高興，我們所說的團聚，是一種美好的重逢。

The baby is joyful and happy and, you know, that's healthy attachment.

寶寶是快樂和幸福的，你知道，這就是健康的依戀。

It means that you've made your baby feel so safe and secure because you are there primarily and have prioritized them the majority of the time as the primary attachment figure that when you come home, your baby welcomes it.

這意味著你讓寶寶感到非常安全和有保障，因為你是寶寶最主要的依戀對象，大部分時間都把他們放在首位，以至於當你回家時，寶寶也會歡迎你的到來。

But what we're seeing is more and more children developing attachment disorders because their parents are pushing the limits of how much they can leave those babies and putting them in things like institutional care and leaving them for long hours at a time and traveling for their fabulous careers and their fabulous lives at ages when babies really can't tolerate that kind of separation.

但我們看到的是，越來越多的孩子患上了依戀障礙，因為他們的父母正在挑戰他們離開嬰兒的極限，把他們送到福利院之類的地方，每次離開他們很長時間，為了他們的美好職業和美好生活而旅行，而這些年齡段的嬰兒真的無法忍受這種分離。

When a parent comes, when the primary attachment figure, usually the mother comes home and the baby turns away from you and turns toward the babysitter or just turns away, that baby has the beginning of what's called an avoidant attachment disorder.

當父母回家時，當主要依戀對象（通常是母親）回家時，寶寶就會遠離你，轉向保姆，或者只是轉身離開，這就是所謂的迴避型依戀障礙的開始。

Now that's correlated later on with things like depression and difficulty forming attachments later on.

這與後來的抑鬱和難以形成依戀等問題有關。

The next kind of attachment disorder is called an ambivalent attachment disorder and the mother then comes home and the baby clings to the mother for dear life because the internal voice in that baby is my mommy's gonna leave me again so I have to hold on to her.

下一種依戀障礙叫做矛盾型依戀障礙，媽媽回家後，寶寶會死死抱住媽媽不放，因為寶寶內心的聲音是媽媽又要離開我了，所以我一定要抱住媽媽。

Now that baby is fractious and can't be soothed and will not let go of that mother, you know, holding on for dear life, what I call like the rhesus monkeys did to the wire cages, right?

現在，孩子變得很暴躁，無法得到安撫，也不願意放開媽媽，你知道，他死死抓住媽媽不放，就像我所說的恆河猴對鐵絲網籠子那樣，對嗎？

And that's correlated later on with anxiety in youth.

The disorganized attachment disorder is different than the other two in that the other two have a strategy.

無組織依戀障礙與其他兩種障礙的不同之處在於，其他兩種障礙都有一種策略。

So think of an attachment disorder as a strategy, a child who's left for too many hours by their parent or whose parent is physically present but emotionally checked out.

是以，我們可以把依戀障礙看作是一種策略，一種被父母離開太久的孩子，或者父母雖在身邊，但情感卻被抽離的孩子。

That baby has to cope, has to have a strategy.

孩子必須有應對的辦法，必須有策略。

Turning away from the mother is a strategy and the internal narrative is my mommy isn't present for me, isn't here for me, won't be there for me, I can't trust my environment.

遠離母親是一種策略，內心的敘述是我的媽媽不在我身邊，不在我身邊，不會在我身邊，我不能相信我的環境。

And that baby says, and I'm gonna have to cope on my own, what we call learned helplessness.

嬰兒會說，我必須自己解決，我們稱之為習得性無助。

The ambivalent attachment disorder, you know, that baby is the strategy is, you know, I'm gonna hold on because if I don't hold on, she's gonna leave again.

矛盾型依戀障礙，你知道，嬰兒的策略是，你知道，我要堅持下去，因為如果我不堅持下去，她就會再次離開。

Disorganized attachment disorder is the hardest to treat because the baby has no strategy.

無組織依戀障礙是最難治療的，因為寶寶沒有任何策略。

So the baby cycles through many strategies.

是以，嬰兒會循環使用多種策略。

The baby will go from clinging to avoiding to being enraged and even slapping or hitting the mother and then cycling through again.

嬰兒會從依戀到躲避，再到被激怒，甚至打母親耳光或打母親，然後再次循環往復。

And that baby that develops a disorganized attachment disorder, those are more, those babies, it's correlated later with borderline personality disorder.

而那些患上無序依戀障礙的嬰兒，他們更容易患上邊緣型人格障礙。

And we're seeing a huge rise in borderline personality disorders.

我們看到邊緣型人格障礙的發病率大幅上升。

And those are the kids who are cutting themselves, who are trying to commit suicide.

就是這些孩子在自殘，試圖自殺。

We have a mental illness crisis, the likes of which we've never seen in history.

我們面臨著歷史上從未有過的精神疾病危機。

And it has everything to do with how we're raising our children.

這與我們如何教育孩子息息相關。