Name: 如何無所畏懼地去愛 (How to Love without fear)
Uploaded: 2025-08-03T18:18:29.000Z
Duration: 2 min 40 s

基礎被動語態

We regularly get into difficulties in love because we refuse to accept how much reassurance and stroking we need from the person we love. We imagine we're grown up. We don't want to countenance how fragile and easily wounded we might be. We don't want to see the always susceptible and sensitive child beneath the impressive adult. And so, in the face of so-called small things that have undeniably hurt us – a missing warm comment here, a lack of touch there – we go numb instead. We silently and swiftly pull up the drawbridge. We unconsciously prepare to recriminate. We tell ourselves that we have a lot of work to do and should spend more time by ourselves. The last thing we can acknowledge is that we might be sad, confused and secretly furious. It would help a lot if we could recognise with grace that when it comes to relationships, we are all without a skin. We feel everything, whether we choose to register the fact or not. We are alive to every nuance in our partner's behaviour towards us. We notice and are pained by every piece of distance, every movement of incomprehension and every minor slight. It is obviously profoundly tempting to deny such exposure. Who wants to be constantly reminded that they have in effect forfeited their independence to the moods and inclinations of a wholly autonomous fellow human? How much more comforting to subsist under the illusion that we might be immune to minor slights and that our spirits remain substantially in our own hands? And yet, it would be fairer and a good deal cleaner to accept that once we are in love, we have no option but to feel everything that goes on between ourselves and a partner. We have to know on a daily, even hourly basis that we continue to matter to them. It's no use pretending to be made of rock, of attempting to be recklessly and eventually angrily and coldly brave. We need to put in place measures to preserve love in the face of our ongoing vulnerability.

我們經常在愛情中陷入困境，因為我們拒絕接受我們需要從所愛的人那裡得到多少安慰和撫摸。我們想象自己已經長大成人。我們不願意承認自己有多麼脆弱，多麼容易受傷。我們不想看到在令人印象深刻的成人外表下，那個總是脆弱敏感的孩子。是以，面對那些無可否認地傷害了我們的所謂小事--這裡少了一句溫暖的話語，那裡缺少了一次撫摸--我們反而麻木了。我們默默地、迅速地拉起了吊橋。我們不自覺地準備去責備別人。我們告訴自己，我們還有很多工作要做，應該多花點時間在自己身上。我們最不願意承認的是，我們可能會傷心、困惑和暗自憤怒。如果我們

程度副詞

We need regularly to check in with one another and ask, have I hurt you? And then as regularly say, I do still love you. It's no sign of being infantile to approach love with immense, almost implausible sensitivity. It is a sign that we have at last accepted what a grown-up is and needs.

我們需要定期檢查彼此，問一問：我傷害過你嗎？然後經常說，我仍然愛你。以巨大的、幾乎不可思議的敏感度來對待愛情，這並不是幼稚的表現。這表明我們終於接受了成年人的本質和需求。