Name: 如何克服心理障礙 (How To Overcome Psychological Barriers)
Uploaded: 2025-07-24T17:53:32.000Z
Duration: 10 min 56 s

情態副詞

We humans are extraordinarily and painfully vulnerable creatures.

我們人類是異常脆弱和痛苦的生物。

Especially in our early years, we are at huge danger of being psychologically damaged by those around us.

尤其是在幼年時期，我們極有可能受到周圍人的心理傷害。

Damage is in one way or another always caused by a shortfall of tenderness and care.

損害總是以這樣或那樣的方式由溫柔和關愛的缺失造成的。

As we might put it, it is caused by a shortfall of love.

用我們的話說，這是愛的缺失造成的。

Examples of shortfalls of love are very varied.

Perhaps at an early point, someone went missing, or someone died, someone was cruel, or someone misunderstood.

也許在很早的時候，有人失蹤了，或者有人死了，有人被殘忍地對待了，或者有人被誤解了。

And as a result of this deficit, universally, some kind of wound was sustained.

由於這種赤字，普遍都受到了某種傷害。

We are psychologically very ingenious creatures.

我們在心理上是非常聰明的動物。

In the face of any wound, we develop an array of very clever defence mechanisms.

面對任何創傷，我們都會發展出一系列非常聰明的防禦機制。

The purpose of defence mechanisms is to protect us against further damage, to help us to get through to the next stage of existence, to keep us going, in extremis, to save our lives.

防禦機制的目的是保護我們免受進一步的傷害，幫助我們渡過生存的下一階段，讓我們繼續生存下去，在極端情況下拯救我們的生命。

For example, to protect us against this wound, a parent who goes missing, we develop this defence mechanism, an inability to feel sad whenever anyone is absent.

例如，為了保護我們免受父母失蹤的傷害，我們會發展出這種防禦機制，只要有人不在身邊，我們就無法感到悲傷。

Or to protect us against an alcoholic caregiver, we develop the defence of huge independence and self-containment.

或者，為了保護我們不受酗酒的照顧者的傷害，我們會發展出巨大的獨立性和自我控制的防禦能力。

The problem with our defence mechanisms is that they always exact a price.

我們的防禦機制的問題在於，它們總是要付出代價的。

While they protected us very well at a certain age, the more time passes, the more they become unsuited to the conditions that we face in the here and now.

雖然它們在某個年齡段能很好地保護我們，但時間越久，它們就越不適合我們此時此地所面臨的狀況。

What were once ingenious adaptations to a hostile environment become, over the years, the causes of behaviours that limit our chances and ruin things for us.

曾經是對惡劣環境的巧妙適應，經過多年後，卻變成了限制我們機會、毀掉我們一切的行為根源。

For example, to return to the above table, but with a new column on the right, to protect us against this wound, a parent who goes missing, we develop this defence mechanism, an inability to feel sad whenever anyone is absent.

例如，回到上表，但在右邊新增一欄，為了保護我們免受父母失蹤的傷害，我們會發展出這種防禦機制，即只要有人不在身邊，我們就無法感到悲傷。

And then the price of our defence mechanism is that our relationships are shallow and brittle.

然後，我們的防禦機制的代價就是我們的人際關係膚淺而脆弱。

Or to protect us against an alcoholic caregiver, we develop the defence mechanism of huge independence and self-containment.

或者，為了保護我們不受酗酒的照顧者的傷害，我們會發展出巨大的獨立和自我控制的防禦機制。

It's in the nature of how our minds work that we generally can't see the connection between how our defence mechanisms operate in the here and now and the wounds we sustained in the past.

我們的思維方式決定了我們通常無法看清我們此時此地的防禦機制運作方式與我們過去所受的創傷之間的聯繫。

These defence mechanisms give us what we call symptoms.

這些防禦機制給我們帶來了所謂的症狀。

We have a tendency to just accept these symptoms even if they're very painful.

我們總是傾向於接受這些症狀，即使它們非常痛苦。

很多時候，我們甚至沒有注意到它們。

For example, we accept that we're not so good at love, or we accept that we're quite lonely, or we don't notice that we're manically cheerful, or we don't notice how much we're underperforming at work.

比如，我們接受了自己不擅長戀愛的事實，或者接受了自己相當孤獨的事實，或者沒有注意到自己狂躁開朗的事實，或者沒有注意到自己在工作中表現不佳的事實。

In order to heal ourselves from our symptoms and the emotional wounds that lie beneath them, we have to learn to understand ourselves better.

為了治癒自己的症狀和隱藏在症狀背後的情感創傷，我們必須學會更好地瞭解自己。

Our happiness relies on becoming more self-aware.

我們的幸福有賴於更強的自我意識。

The more we can work at understanding ourselves, the healthier, freer and more creative we can be.

我們越能瞭解自己，就越能變得更健康、更自由、更有創造力。

How then can we unpick the legacy of emotional wounds?

那麼，我們如何才能解開情感創傷的後遺症呢？

Self-understanding is a seven-stage process.

自我認識是一個分為七個階段的過程。

Firstly, we need to learn to identify our symptoms.

首先，我們需要學會識別自己的症狀。

For this, we need to grow more ambitious about who we want to become in the future.

為此，我們需要對自己未來的理想更加雄心勃勃。

We need to scan the present and wonder how things could be improved.

我們需要審視當下，思考如何改進。

We should ask, what would I like to get rid of in myself?

我們應該問，我想擺脫自己身上的什麼？

What fruitless habits, compulsions or areas of stuckness would I like to overcome?

我想克服哪些沒有結果的習慣、強迫症或困頓？

What patterns of difficulty can I notice once I look carefully?

仔細觀察後，我能發現哪些困難模式？

Secondly, we need to identify our defence mechanisms.

其次，我們需要確定自己的防禦機制。

These can be very hard to spot, but it helps to consider a list of what some very common defence mechanisms are to see if they ring any bells.

這些機制可能很難被發現，但我們可以考慮列出一些非常常見的防禦機制，看看它們是否會讓人想起什麼。

We might never have thought of these things as defence mechanisms, but we may nevertheless feel a moment of recognition when we hear of the following.

我們可能從來沒有想過這些東西是防禦機制，但當我們聽到下面這些話時，我們可能會有一瞬間的認同感。

Falling in love with unavailable people, ensuring our relationships always fail, underperforming at work, being very independent, addiction to alcohol, porn, exercise, feeling numb, hypervigilance, continuous anxiety, constant sadness, depression.

愛上無法得到的人，確保我們的關係總是失敗，工作表現不佳，非常獨立，沉迷於酒精、色情、運動，感覺麻木，過度警覺，持續焦慮，持續悲傷，抑鬱。

Thirdly, we're used to thinking of defence mechanisms in rather negative terms.

第三，我們習慣於從消極的角度來看待防禦機制。

They're typically framed in problematic ways, like illnesses that have no rationale.

它們通常是以有問題的方式被描述出來的，就像沒有道理可言的疾病一樣。

They do cause us difficulties, but to think of them negatively only doesn't allow us to understand that they actually have a logic and that it's only on the basis of understanding their logic that we can overcome them.

它們的確會給我們帶來困難，但如果只是消極地看待它們，我們就無法理解它們其實是有邏輯的，只有在理解其邏輯的基礎上，我們才能戰勝它們。

So long as we continue to see them as meaningless, freakish aberrations, we'll never rid ourselves of them.

只要我們繼續把它們視為毫無意義的怪胎，我們就永遠無法擺脫它們。

We must therefore learn to look at defence mechanisms as highly ingenious, very clever strategies that once would have done a very good job at keeping us safe.

是以，我們必須學會把防禦機制看作是非常巧妙、非常聰明的策略，它們曾經可以很好地保護我們的安全。

We need to look for the upside of whatever defence mechanism we recognise in ourselves.

無論我們認識到自己身上的哪種防禦機制，我們都需要尋找它的好處。

We should ask, what was this defence mechanism clever at doing for us?

我們應該問一問，這種防禦機制能為我們做什麼？

How was it, in its way, rather wise and admirable?

就其本身而言，這又何嘗不是一種明智和令人欽佩的做法呢？

So, common defence mechanisms, falling in love with unavailable people.

所以，常見的防禦機制，愛上得不到的人。

What's the clever upside of the defence mechanism?

Or, common defence mechanism of ensuring our relationships always fail.

或者說，確保我們的關係總是失敗的常見防禦機制。

Fourthly, now we need to reconstruct why a defence mechanism was ever necessary in our life.

第四，現在我們需要重新構建我們生活中為什麼需要防禦機制。

What was it about our past that would have made it necessary to have our specific defensive strategy in place?

我們的過去究竟是什麼原因導致我們必須制定具體的防禦戰略？

What wounds did we sustain, what happened in the past, to make life difficult?

我們受過什麼傷，過去發生過什麼事，讓生活變得如此艱難？

We may not be used to thinking in this way.

過去的事情也許已經過去很久了。

But we need to proceed like archaeologists who try to reconstruct, from the fragments in the here and now, some of the circumstances of a bygone era.

但是，我們需要像考古學家一樣，努力從現在的碎片中重建過去時代的一些情況。

Let's add another column to our chart and try to fill it in as best we can.

讓我們在圖表中再添加一列，並儘量填滿它。

所以，常見的防禦機制就是愛上得不到的人。

Clever upside, we don't have to be let down.

Now, what wound might we have suffered in the past to make this defence mechanism necessary?

現在，我們過去可能受過什麼傷，以至於需要這種防禦機制？

Or, imagine the common defence mechanism of ensuring our relationships always fail.

或者，想象一下確保我們的關係總是失敗的常見防禦機制。

Now, what wound might we have suffered in the past to make a defence mechanism like this necessary?

現在，我們過去可能受過什麼傷，以至於需要這樣一種防禦機制？

Or, take the idea of underperforming at work.

What wound might we have suffered in the past to make this defence mechanism necessary?

我們過去可能受過什麼傷，才需要這種防禦機制？

Maybe there was an older sibling who was bullying and jealous.

也許有一個哥哥姐姐恃強凌弱、嫉妒心強。

Fifthly, now we should do something very unfamiliar.

第五，現在我們應該做一件非常陌生的事情。

We should congratulate ourselves on having been rather clever with our defence mechanisms.

我們應該慶幸自己的防禦機制相當聰明。

Far from being some silly neurotic feature of our lives, defence mechanisms have been an ingenious way of keeping us away from devastation.

防禦機制絕非我們生活中某種愚蠢的神經質特徵，而是一種讓我們遠離災難的巧妙方式。

Let's take a moment to feel proud of our smart minds for devising a means of carrying us past danger onto the next stage of life.

讓我們靜下心來，為我們聰明的大腦設計出一種方法，讓我們渡過危險，進入人生的下一個階段而感到自豪。

Let's feel compassion and admiration for our defensive strategy.

讓我們對我們的防禦戰略表示同情和欽佩。

Sixthly, now, having given ourselves all due congratulations, we then need to do something else.

第六，在對自己表示了應有的祝賀之後，我們還需要做些別的事情。

Realise that our defence mechanisms are in fact past their sell-by date.

認識到我們的防禦機制實際上已經過期。

They were once undoubtedly pretty clever.

But now they don't serve any purpose any more.

但現在它們已經沒有任何作用了。

Now they make life worse than it needs to be.

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如何克服心理障礙 (How To Overcome Psychological Barriers)

depression

strategy

constant

intimacy