Name: 當我們情緒低落、疑神疑鬼時應問自己的問題 (A Question to Ask Ourselves When We Are Low and Paranoid)
Uploaded: 2025-07-26T21:01:20.000Z
Duration: 4 min 1 s

情態助動詞 B1

In such a mood, we may feel guilty and ashamed without being able to put a finger on anything concrete we've done.

在這種情緒下，我們可能會感到內疚和羞愧，但又無法確定自己做了什麼具體的事情。

第二類條件句型

At the same time, we're in a paranoid state of mind as if people out there didn't like us especially, or we were in imminent danger of being found out for doing something forbidden.

同時，我們會陷入一種偏執的心理狀態，好像外面的人並不特別喜歡我們，或者我們做了什麼違禁的事情，馬上就有被發現的危險。

And then we might feel non-specifically irritable and get uncommonly grumpy when we can't find a household item or the printer jams.

然後，我們可能會感到非特定的煩躁，在找不到生活用品或打印機卡紙時會變得異常暴躁。

It's in such a mood that we might step back and ask ourselves a distinctive question.

在這種情緒下，我們可能會退後一步，問自己一個獨特的問題。

"Might I - at heart - be very angry with someone right now?"

「我現在心裡會不會對某個人非常生氣？」

It might sound peculiar that we would even need to ask such a question.

我們甚至需要問這樣一個問題，這聽起來可能有點奇怪。

Surely if we were angry, we would know immediately without requiring any sort of formal moment of self-exploration.

當然，如果我們生氣，我們會立刻知道，而不需要任何正式的自我探索時刻。

But this is to underestimate how difficult it can be – and what a psychological achievement it is – to be able to consciously know about,

但是，這就低估了在一個人真正激怒我們的時候，能夠有意識地瞭解他，

and viscerally feel anger with a person who has actually angered us at roughly the time they have done so.

並從內心感受到他的憤怒是多麼困難，也是多麼了不起的心理成就。

It can be so much easier to sink, instead, into a vague miasma of unknowing self-hatred and dread.

相反，沉浸在一種模糊的、不自知的自我憎恨和恐懼的瘴氣中會容易得多。

Knowing when and with whom we might be angry relies on the privilege of having had permission across childhood to be aware of and then express anger against people who matter to us,

我們之所以知道自己何時會對誰發怒，是因為我們有幸在童年時期獲得了許可，能夠意識到並表達對那些與我們息息相關的人的憤怒，

whom we loved but who, for a period, we happened also to be very frustrated with indeed.

這些人是我們所愛的，但在一段時間內，我們碰巧也對他們感到非常沮喪。

Not all parents are strong enough to allow their children to tell them how awful they are, what nonsense they speak or how completely fed up they feel.

並不是所有的父母都有足夠的能力讓自己的孩子告訴他們自己有多糟糕，他們說了些什麼胡話，或者他們感到多麼厭煩。

It takes considerable inner evolution to let oneself be spoken to in this way without lashing out or buckling.

需要相當大的內在進化才能讓自己以這種方式被談論而不發怒或屈服。

One has to feel really very big inside to cope with being told one knows nothing whatsoever by a livid seven-year-old.

當一個怒氣沖沖的七歲孩子告訴他自己什麼都不知道時，一個人必須內心非常強大，才能應付這種感覺。

Too many parents shout back, punish or ask the child tearfully what they could possibly have done to deserve this kind of meanness.

太多的父母會對孩子大聲呵斥、懲罰，或是哭著質問孩子到底做了什麼事，要遭受如此惡劣的對待。

And so the child learns that anger, when it comes along, has to be swallowed, which tends to have four repercussions that decisively shape the emergent adult personality.

因此，孩子學會了當憤怒來臨時，必須將其吞下，這往往會產生四種後果，對塑造成年後的人格產生決定性的影響。

Firstly, swallowed anger turns in on the person who feels it.

首先，被吞噬的憤怒會轉移到感受到憤怒的人身上。

When outward expression is censored, there is nowhere else for the rage to go other than back out onto the person who originated it.

當外在表達受到審查時，憤怒除了發洩在發起憤怒的人身上之外別無去處。

「我恨你」變成了「我恨我自己」。

Secondly, swallowed anger breeds a sense of non-specific guilt.

其次，壓抑憤怒會滋長一種非特定的罪惡感。

"I wanted to harm you but couldn't" becomes "I've done something wrong but I don't know what."

「我想傷害你，但是不能」變成了「我做錯了什麼，但我不知道是什麼。」

Thirdly, swallowed anger finds its way back out in the form of paranoia.

第三，被壓抑的憤怒會以偏執的形式再次爆發。

"I want to take revenge on you in particular" becomes "Everyone in general wants to do me in."

「我特別想報復你」變成了「每個人都想殺我」。

And fourthly, swallowed anger gets discharged onto safe targets like bits of furniture or machinery, sometimes an unfortunate pet or kindly spouse.

第四，被吞噬的憤怒會被發洩到安全的目標上，例如家具或機器，有時是不幸的寵物或善良的配偶。

"I'm livid with my colleagues" becomes "Why on earth has a fridge door still not been fixed?""

「我對我的同事很生氣」變成了「為什麼冰箱門還沒有修好？」

The next time we feel low, guilty, paranoid and irritable, we should pause to wonder whether we are not in our depths, really very angry with someone right now.

下次當我們感到情緒低落、內疚、偏執和煩躁時，我們應該停下來想想，我們是否真的對某人非常生氣。

It could be an associate, a friend, a lover, a therapist or a long-dead parent.

這個人可能是同事、朋友、情人、治療師或早已過世的父母。

我們不必再如此缺乏自知之明。

Anger held in sane adult hands doesn't have to injure or destroy anything.

理智的成年人不會因為憤怒而傷害或破壞任何東西。

It can be safely felt and then discharged in person with civility and caution or explored on one's own, in the pages of a journal or in the shower.

它可以被安全地感受到，然後以文明和謹慎的態度當面釋放，或者在日記或淋浴時自己探索。