Name: 男性孤獨心理學 (The Psychology of Male Loneliness)
Uploaded: 2025-06-18T17:25:12.000Z
Duration: 4 min 21 s

Buddies who know all about intimacy and coziness.

But let's state the darker and more general truth plainly: friendship is difficult for men.

但是，讓我們直截了當地說出一個更黑暗、更普遍的事實：友誼對男人來說是困難的。

For every man who can claim a decent male friend.

為每一個能交到一個像樣的男性朋友的男人。

There must be at least eight who, in the honesty of their deep minds.

至少有八個人的內心深處是誠實的。

Know they have none that truly merit the term.

要知道，他們沒有一個人真正配得上這個稱號。

The problem, though it strikes at an individual level, is anchored in larger societal forces.

問題雖然發生在個人層面，但其根源在於更大的社會力量。

Men are lonely, not through any specific deficiency on their part, but because of an inherent conflict.

男人之所以孤獨，並不是因為他們有什麼特殊的缺陷，而是因為內在的矛盾。

Between what's required of being a man on the one hand, and what's involved in being a friend on the other.

一方面是做人的要求，另一方面是做朋友的要求。

The bedrock of true friendship is, unfortunately, mutual vulnerability.

不幸的是，真正友誼的基石是彼此的脆弱。

We may naturally foster a friendship by discussing how many goals Manchester United scored in the year of the last World Cup, or how hypersonic airplane engines work, or the average return of an S&P 500 stock.

我們可以通過討論曼聯隊在上屆世界盃那年進了多少球、高超音速飛機發動機的工作原理或標準普爾 500 指數股票的平均收益率，自然而然地增進友誼。

There can be a certain interest in thinking together about the classical influence within Picasso's late period.

大家對共同思考畢加索晚期作品中的古典主義影響有一定的興趣。

Or the idea of justice in Plato's the laws, or the influence of Plotinus on early Renaissance thought.

或者柏拉圖的律法中的正義思想，或者普羅提諾對文藝復興早期思想的影響。

But genuine friendship, the sort that nourishes and sustains, that argues against despair and helps with the eeriness of the early hours.

但是，真正的友誼，那種滋養和支撐，抵禦絕望，幫助消除凌晨的陰森恐怖的友誼。

It starts the moment that one person says to another, I'm going out of my mind, or I hate my partner's guts, or I'm terrified, or help me.

從一個人對另一個人說 "我快要瘋了"、"我恨透了我的伴侶"、"我好害怕"、"救救我 "的那一刻開始。

It starts when a man can admit, I'm in love with a colleague.

當一個男人承認 "我愛上了一個同事 "時，這一切就開始了。

Or I can't get it up anymore, or the anxiety never stops.

或者我再也振作不起來，或者焦慮從未停止過。

There won't be a friendship that properly counts until we can reveal ourselves to be as weak as we are.

只有當我們暴露出自己的軟弱時，我們的友誼才算真正意義上的友誼。

Until we can confess that we've been lying to preserve face, and that the truth is far ghastlier and sadder, far more tender and more pathetic than we've yet been able to let on.

直到我們能夠承認，我們一直在掩耳盜鈴地撒謊，而真相遠比我們所能透露的更可怕、更可悲、更溫柔、更可憐。

Regrettably for men, since the earliest days across civilizations.

令人遺憾的是，自人類文明誕生之初，男人就一直如此。

It's been self-evident that to be a man involves something else entirely: being unflinching and solid, unperturbed and straightforward, buoyant and resourceful.

不言而喻，作為一個男人，要做的完全是另外一件事：堅定不移、踏踏實實、處變不驚、直來直去、奮發有為、足智多謀。

It's about not minding that we've been left or sacked, humiliated or bullied.

這就意味著我們不必在意被拋棄、被解僱、被羞辱或被欺凌。

It's about never losing an erection and knowing how to rule an empire without taking to bed and pining for mother.

這是關於永不勃起，知道如何統治一個帝國而不上床和思念母親。

It's ultimately about never, ever being that most dreaded and abhorrent of things, a cry baby.

歸根結底，就是永遠不要做最可怕、最可惡的事情--愛哭鬼。

The best way to break the loneliness must be to admit with humor and grace that it exists, and that one may be more than fed up that it does so.

打破孤獨感的最好辦法必須是以幽默和優雅的方式承認孤獨感的存在，並承認自己可能會因為孤獨感的存在而感到厭煩。

Of course, men often don't know how to be close, of course they might be substantially friendless.

當然，男人往往不懂得如何親近，當然，他們可能實質上沒有朋友。

It should be no surprise if they've never had an honest conversation with another member of their gender, little in their histories allows for such an eventuality.

如果他們從未與其他性別的人進行過坦誠的對話，那也不足為奇，因為在他們的歷史中，幾乎不存在這樣的可能性。

If we were tempted to make a practical change, we might design some packs of conversation cards and give them out to men to take with them to the bar and the pub, the shooting range and the golf club.

如果我們想做出切實的改變，我們可以設計一些對話卡片包，把它們分發給男人，讓他們帶著去酒吧、酒館、射擊場和高爾夫俱樂部。

On them would be printed a range of questions of a kind that men might long to ask one another.

上面印有一系列問題，這些問題可能是人們渴望相互詢問的。

如果你知道，我就不會評判你了。

Most would agree that such cards were naturally idiotic and unnecessary, but how useful they might be if they provided even a small opportunity for a few men to let down their guard and reveal a more complex reality.

大多數人都會認為，這樣的卡片自然是愚蠢和不必要的，但如果它們能為一些人提供哪怕是一個小小的機會，讓他們放鬆警惕，揭示更復雜的現實，那又是多麼有用啊。

The histories of art and literature are all the proof one might require that men are capable of the greatest empathy and tenderness.

藝術史和文學史足以證明，人類能夠產生最偉大的共鳴和柔情。

The tragedy is that men are so seldom able to direct these emotions towards one another, that they must spend their lives barricaded in themselves, in dread of becoming, in the eyes of their fellow men, a child or a woman.

可悲的是，人與人之間很少有機會產生這種情感，以至於他們終其一生都必須把自己封閉起來，生怕自己在同伴眼中變成一個孩子或一個女人。

That they must waste so much time and be so brave in defending an illusion that they never asked to be a part of.

他們必須浪費如此多的時間，如此勇敢地捍衛一個他們從未要求參與的幻象。