why don't I reply to negative comments.

And that's because I only have two sides.

Number one, a nice positive unicorn.

And two, a savage that will absolutely destroy you.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Comment: woman aren't funny.

Shouldn't you be in the kitching making me a sandwich?

You see, like this confuses me.

Why would you need me to make you a sandwich?

That's not hard to do, I'll even teach you.

(bouncy piano music)

Hello, first you take out your ingredients.

Here's what you'll need to make the sandwich.

Bread, salami, honey mustard, cheese, mayo, onions, spinach.

Please note that I'm using fresh ingredients

to make up for your expired thought process.

Step one, on a cutting board, chop up your onion.

Now, if you start to painfully tear up, don't worry.

Now you know how your mother feels

when she sees how you turned out.

Now you just a little bit of onion

because you don't wanna overpower the sandwich.

Now while cutting, you'll notice that the onion

has layers just like your insecurity.

Next, you wanna take your bread and separate

the two pieces so we can put stuff in between them.

Now I know you're not familiar with things

separating for you, because you never get laid,

but don't worry, use your strong, muscular,

well-exercised right arm and grab some mayo.

Today I'm using chipotle mayo because spicy foods

are associated with pain relief

and you clearly live a very sad, sad life.

And what you wanna do is you wanna spread a thin layer

of mayo across your bread, 'cause that way

at least your sandwich can believe in equality.

Up next, you wanna take some spinach and put it on

your bread and don't worry about washing the spinach

because dirt belongs in the trash

and that's exactly what you are.

You see, now spinach is good for you because spinach

contains protein and if you eat a lot of protein,

then maybe one day you too can become strong enough

to possibly fight for the right to vote or bear children.

But until then, keep eating your spinach.

Once you've placed a few pieces of spinach

on your bread, it's time for the salami.

Now salami is a type of cured sausage and fun fact,

the length of these sausages can range anywhere from six

inches to two inches so really, either way,

much larger than any sausage you're used to handling.

In fact, right now would be a good time to take

your salami and whisper to it, "Goals."

Now you wanna take your honey mustard and apply it

on top of your salami in thin strokes.

Now the sweetness in the honey mustard

will not only add a great kick to the salami,

but it'll also help out balance how salty you are.

Now to finish off your sandwich, add a slice of cheese.

I personally prefer skim milk, zero percent cheese

because that's exactly how much your comment matters.

It's also a good idea to purchase

your ingredients from local farmers.

That way, you know that your money

is going towards a cause you believe in.

For example, if you don't think women are funny,

you should continue to watch my videos and leave a comment.

That way, I can continue to buy nice things.

Thank you.

To finish off your sandwich, close it.

Something you're not used to doing with your mouth.

If you'd like, you can also cut your sandwich

in two, just like how I cut your BS.

Pour yourself a nice big glass of ice cold water

to help with your newly-obtained burns.

Most importantly, don't forget to enjoy.

And you see, that's why I don't

respond to negative comments.

Because I prefer to be a nice, kind unicorn.

But in the interest of balance and sheer entertainment,

I've decided that 99.9% of the time,

I will focus on those wonderful, supportive comments.

But that other 0.01% of the time,

I'll unleash the savage.

Hmm, maybe this should be a new series.

Hey, I hope you enjoyed this video,

it was so much fun to film, just to put it out there,

this video is not directed to anyone else

besides sexist people so I'm not attacking all men,

men who support women, I dig you, you da bomb.

If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up,

like actually give it a thumbs up,

so if you like it, I'll do more, that's how works.

Comment below letting me know your favorite part.

If you wanna check out my last video,

it is right over there, it is three ways my childhood

screwed me up, three of many, many.

My second vlog channel is right over there,

I daily vlog, so check that out.

Also if you wanna pre-order my book,

the link is in the description, you can also press that eye

and the last thing I'll tell you before I shut up

is on December 1st, my 12 Collabs of Christmas are starting,

if you don't know what that is, it's 12 collaborations

in the month of December and they're

all surprises so stay tuned for that

Subscribe, so you can keep up to date,

'cause I'm making videos every Monday and Thursday

but in December, it's going to be so much more often.

It's gonna be a freaking party.

One love Superman, that is a wrap and zoop.