the game changing thrill of the winter Solidier

並在之後以酷寒戰士換換口味

and the unexpected surprise of Guardians of the Galaxy

更在之後推出意料之外的星際異攻隊

You thought there was no way the next Avengers could lift up to the high

你認為復仇者聯盟二根本不可能再創高峰

You were right.

你‧是‧對‧的！

Avengers, Age of Ultron

復仇者聯盟，奧創紀元

I mean it's definitely good

我的意思是，這還是很好的

but just not great

不過...稱不上棒

You know I mean, like certainly enjoyable

你知道我的意思，像是真的很有娛樂性

but you know

不過你知道

man... we're gonna catch hell for this, are we?

老兄...我們還是要好好抨擊一下這個，是吧？

When the Mandarin seemingly killed Iron Man

當Mandarin似乎殺死了鋼鐵人

and took the president hostage

並侵入了總統的官邸

The Avengers didn't assemble

復仇者聯盟們並不團結

When Malaga almost destroyed the universe

當Malaga幾乎要摧毀整個宇宙時

the Avengers didn't assemble

復仇者聯盟們仍然不團結

And when a terroist organization infiltrated Shield

且當恐怖組織滲透神盾局

and came just seconds away from killing millions

並差一點點就殺死了幾百萬人

the Avengers still didn't assemble

復仇者聯盟們還是不團結

But when a remote Hydra base might be hiding something

但，當遠方的Hydra基地可能藏了些什麼

every single avenger is assembling all up in his business

復仇者聯盟中的每一位成員卻團結得不知道跟什麼一樣

for even more

更甚者

group shots

還有團體照呢！

Hey, does that mean we can finally stop using this one?

嘿，這代表我們終於可以別再用這一幕了嗎？

Joss Whedon is back at the helm

Joss Whedon東山再起

and more beat down than ever

卻又再次跌到了谷底

In the second one Job just got harder

在第二集裡，工作變得更難

I have all these restrictions

我有那麼多的限制

but also I will lead guidelines

但我仍會下指導方針

As he does his best to meet the unrealistic nerd expectations

當他盡全力達到這不切實際的預期

and tries to make a stand alone sequel

並嘗試創作獨立的續集

as good as Empire Strikes Back or Godfather, too

就像是帝國大反擊或教父一樣地好

that also sets up a civil war

並設計了(復仇者聯盟們的)內戰

Everytime someone tries to win the war before it starts, innocent people die.

每當有人嘗試在戰爭前就拔得頭籌時，無辜的人們就會死去

and sets up an Infinity war

接著又設計了無限之戰

A mind stone is the fourth from the infinity stones that show up in the last few years

心智之石是近幾年出現的無限之石中的第四顆。

and sets up Thor: Ragnarok

並設計了索爾：諸神黃昏

We are all dead, can you not see it?

我們全都(將)死去了，難道你看不到嗎？

and sets up Black Panther

並設計了黑豹這個腳色

Wakanada? Wa... Wa..Wa... Wakanda

神...神聖圖騰柱？(Marvel裡的虛擬世界)

and fitting Disney Corp. cross promotions

並為迪士尼做置入性行銷。

Gentlemen, strings, son and fun

先生們，束縛(線，和小木偶有關)、兒子與樂趣。

In a juggling act so insanely difficult

在各種瘋狂的特效之下

he turned down the sequel, quit Twitter

他婉拒下一集的邀約，並關閉推特

and doen't have any new films in development

且手邊也沒有新電影的消息

Oh...ah...guys...

喔...痾...大伙們...

I think we just broke Joss Whedon

我想我們傷透了Joss Whedon的心

He needs a hug.

他需要一個擁抱

Experience the movie equivalent of empty engine and tire toy box

體驗一部電影等同於空的引擎與沒氣的玩具箱

and smashing all your action figures into each other

並將所有的動作角色全部摧毀

as the Avengers roster bloats even further

而復仇者聯盟中的小配角更是過度地被膨脹

with Vision, Scarlet Which and Quicksilver

有幻視、紅女巫以及快銀

who for some reason are never called

因為某些原因所以重來不會被喚作

Vision, Scarlet Which or Quicksilver

幻視、紅女巫以及快銀

one as a lame Russian knock off of the X-man

一個是和X戰警中如般跛腳的俄羅斯人

that Fox did way better

但福斯顯然做的更好

one has hand wavy mind control powers

另一個則是有揮揮手就能操控人心的能力

and can also stop trains

還能停住火車呢！

and the other is a beam shooting 3D printed by vanadium robot plus Jarvis plus the mind stone

另一個則是被釩機器人3D列印出來，能夠射光束並加上Jarvis以及心智之石的產物

who can fly and makes capes?

是一個可以飛並製造斗篷的人？

What?

什麼？

Can one of you guys explain Vision to me?

有人可以向我解釋幻視這個角色嗎？

I have no idea who or what it is.

我完全沒有頭緒他或是它是誰！

You've seen great Marvel movie villains

你看過漫威偉大的壞蛋們

like Loki

像是洛基

and...

還有...

no...

不是...

definitely not

絕對不是...

not even close

一點邊都沾不著

guess this is still just Loki

我想應該就只有洛基了

Now get ready for another generically evil one-off villain who hates the Avengers for reasons

現在我們就準備好迎接全新且只登場一次的壞蛋，一個毫無理由討厭復仇者聯盟的壞蛋

with an over complicated plot to evolve

(心中)存著複雜的演化陰謀

and or destroy the world by turning an Estern European city into a meteor

或者想把東歐城市變成隕石摧毀世界

Not a great plan

不是一個好計畫

You've been waiting for years to see your heros come together again

你為了看到英雄們再次合體等了好幾年

Now watch them fight for limited screen time

現在看著他們在有限的放映時間裡戰鬥

for a brush side plot like

為了一些可有可無的片段，就像

Black Widow's black swan school

黑寡婦重返黑天鵝學院

Thor's magic Jacuzzi

索爾的神奇浴缸(浴缸品牌)

If the water spirit accepts me, I can return to my dream.

如果水靈魂接受我，我就可以再次回到夢鄉

Captain America's old party theme

美國隊長的超「古典」派對場景

and the most out of left field love story

還有最讓人跌破眼鏡的愛情故事

since Spock and Uhura

從星際爭霸戰的史巴克和烏胡拉戀情開始

but don't worry, there's still plenty of time left over for your least favorite Avengers

不過別擔心，仍還有很多時間留給比較不受寵的復仇者成員

to become your third or fourth least favorite Avenger

讓他成為你心目中的第三名或第四名

Oh... ok... good for you

喔... 你賺到了

We like you now

現在我們喜歡你了！

Get ready for everything you love about the first Avengers's movie all over again

在一次準備好看看這些在第一集你喜歡的事情

Mind control again...

控制心智... 又來...

Looking for Loki's scepter again...

尋找洛基的權杖...又來...

A Thanos's tease again...

薩諾斯的奸笑...在一次...

A final showdown against the faceless army with a ticking clock again...

最後一幕在有限的時間裡與無臉的軍團對戰

and tons of

還有數也數不完的

reeps...

鬼話...

we are under !@#$%^&* you don't want me, do you

我們現在正在....我知道你不想我...你想嗎？

Guy's multiplying faster than a catholic rabbit

一個能夠快速自我複製的人(guy指奧創，catholic rabbit則是暗諷教皇失言)

we won't hold it against you if you can get it up.

就算你不舉我們也不會笑你

and he did a banksy of the crime scene

他還在犯罪現場留下了塗鴉（Banksy為一英國塗鴉畫家，作品經常帶有反諷意味）

with the advantages of...

有著這樣子的優勢...

Stop quipping!

不要再碎碎念了！

It's a good talk.

很高興和你聊天

You know it wasn't.

你知道不是的

I didn't say you could leave.

我並沒有說你可以離開

You are not worth it.

你不值得

*

*

language

注意你的言語

you son of the bitch

你這狗*****

kiss your mother with that mouth?

你用那嘴親你的媽媽？

You and Banner better not be playing hide the zucchini

你這廝最好不要在那卿卿我我

Obviously you never made an omlet

很顯然的你沒做過炒蛋(性暗示)

you beat me by one second

我還是慢了一步

Oh man. These things are gonna to be insufferable when Ant man the Star-Lord show up

喔老兄。 這些東西(即使)在蟻人的星爵加入後仍無法停止

Starring...

演員...

Mr. Roggers

羅傑斯先生

Hank Pym

漢克‧皮姆

Beats by Bruce

布魯斯的Beats耳機

Good luck finding her action figure

很高興你找到了你的動作角色(性暗示)

Archer

弓箭手

Farm and furious

農地以及激情

So that's what Andy Serkis looks like

這就是Andy Serkis的模樣

Resting witch face

休眠的女巫臉

The quick and the dead

很快但也死得快

CGI balls

共通匝道介面球

Super Siri

超強的Siri

Skynet

天網

And the new Avengers

還有新的復仇者聯盟

Yeah~

耶~

Avengers, Roughly One Week of Ultron

復仇者聯盟，只活了大概一週的奧創

I'm calling it.

我正在叫他

The shield helicarrier will become the NCU's eagles

神盾局的空中航母變成NCU中的老鷹

The eagles are coming.

老鷹們來了

Be sure to subcribe

確定你有訂閱

for more honest trailers

以取得更多的超誠實影評

my tight are way to tight

我的領帶太緊了

The call is coming from inside...your phone

這通電話是從裡面打來的...你的電話

Not the face, never the face.

不是臉，別再出現臉了

There are no strings on me

我再也沒有束縛了

Clowns Farting

小丑們放屁

Rub-a-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub

塗塗抹抹塗塗，謝謝你挖...