Name: 川普決定戰爭名稱？！戰車起火、赫格斯對「大腳怪」疑神疑鬼？🔥👽 (Trump Got To Name The War | Tankers On Fire | Hegseth's Insecurity | 'Squatch Watch)
Uploaded: 2026-03-15T17:09:52.000Z
Duration: 12 min 13 s

I'm your host, Stephen Colbert, ladies and gentlemen.

我是主持人 Stephen Colbert，各位女士先生。

It's weird out there these days, even the weather.

最近外面有點奇怪，連天氣都這樣。

Because this morning I checked my weather app and this is true.

因為今天早上我查了我的 weather app，這是真的。

It said high of 60, low of 35 with a 95% chance of snow.

它說最高溫 60 度，最低溫 35 度，有 95% 的機率會下雪。

Yes, for folks down in Kentucky last night.

對啊，昨晚肯塔基那邊的觀眾。

Last night's forecast called for a 100% chance of rage and spittle because Trump held a rally down there.

昨晚的預報說有百分之百的機率會充滿怒火和口水，因為川普在那裡辦了造勢大會。

And while he was up there, he introduced a unique way to pronounce that state.

然後在他演講的時候，他介紹了一種獨特的發音方式來唸那個州。

We have added 70,000 new construction jobs in just a short period of time, including 8,000 brand new construction jobs in Kentucky.

我們在很短的時間內增加了七萬個新的建築業工作機會，包括肯塔基有八千個全新的建築業工作機會。

How can you not know how to pronounce that word?

你怎麼會不知道怎麼唸那個字？

It's on every one of your chicken buckets.

That's not, not encourage this sort of thing.

Now, for days, Trump has been simultaneously saying that we've won the war in Iran and also that it has to keep going.

現在，這幾天，川普同時說我們贏了伊朗的戰爭，又說戰爭必須繼續。

He continued that mixed message last night as we take decisive action to stop the threat posed by the terrorist regime in Iran.

昨晚他繼續傳達這種模稜兩可的訊息，因為我們採取了決定性行動來阻止伊朗恐怖政權帶來的威脅。

You never like to say too early, you won, we won, we won.

你從來都不想太早說，你贏了，我們贏了，我們贏了。

那我們為什麼還在那裡，big dog？

It's so weird to say we won in the very first hour and then still be there 13 days later.

在第一個小時就說我們贏了，然後13天後還在那裡，這真的很奇怪。

Though it does remind me of that footage of Neil Armstrong.

不過這讓我想起那段尼爾·阿姆斯壯的畫面。

That's one small step for man and we're not leaving until we make it to the moon.

這是一小步，但我們在登月前是不會離開的。

So why do we have to keep sending our troops to a war until the already finished war is over?

所以為什麼我們要一直派軍隊去打一場已經結束的戰爭，直到戰爭結束？

Well, he explained, we're not going to count on having competent presidents.

嗯，他解釋說，我們不能指望有稱職的總統。

We have to assume we're going to have incompetent ones.

我們必須假設會有無能的總統。

Look, just for the sake of argument, we have to consider that someday we might have the dumbest man alive as president.

說真的，就算只是為了辯論，我們也得考慮到有一天我們可能會選出一個全世界最笨的總統。

我說，我是不是說對了，Keen Tucky？

Earlier this week, we learned the sobering fact that as many as 150Americans have been wounded so far in this war.

這週稍早，我們得知了一個令人警醒的事實，在這場戰爭中，到目前為止有多達150名美國人受傷。

And Trump reassured the crowd of the gravity he brought to the difficult decision to take our country to war.

而Trump向人群保證，他帶著嚴肅的態度做出了將國家帶入戰爭的艱難決定。

They gave me a list of names that General, sir.

他們給我一份名單，將軍，先生。

您可以挑選您喜歡的名字，先生。

And they gave me like 20 names and I'm like falling asleep.

他們給我大約20個名字，我都要睡著了。

第二次世界大戰，吱吱叫戰爭。

Today we finally heard from the new Ayatollah, who happens to be the previous guy's son.

今天我們終於聽到了新任Ayatollah的消息，他碰巧是前任的兒子。

In his first statement, Iran's new Supreme Leader vowed to keep blocking the Strait of Hormuz.

在伊朗新任Supreme Leader發表的第一份聲明中，他誓言要繼續封鎖荷姆茲海峽。

So it's time for the latest installment of my surprisingly long running series, Hormuz News.

所以是時候推出我這個意外地已經播了很久的系列「荷姆茲新聞」的最新一集了。

In the statement, Khamenei writes, the lever of blocking the Strait of Hormuz must undoubtedly continue to be used.

在聲明中，Khamenei寫道，封鎖荷姆茲海峽的槓桿無疑必須繼續使用。

It was surprising to hear from the new leader because we know he was injured in the initial attack 13 days ago.

聽到新領袖的消息還挺讓人意外的，因為我們知道他13天前在最初的攻擊中受傷了。

And recently reports have been circulating that he was in a coma.

這絕對是最糟糕的蘇斯博士故事之一。

Iran is clearly listening to their new supreme leader.

伊朗顯然有在聽他們的新最高領袖的話。

According to the International Energy Agency of.

The war in the Mid east has caused the largest supply disruption in the history of the global oil market.

中東的戰爭造成了全球石油市場史上最大規模的供應中斷。

But Trump says there's nothing to worry about.

They are pretty much at the end of the line.

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川普決定戰爭名稱？！戰車起火、赫格斯對「大腳怪」疑神疑鬼？🔥👽 (Trump Got To Name The War | Tankers On Fire | Hegseth's Insecurity | 'Squatch Watch)

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