Name: 強森史都華怒批川普關稅暴走！黛西黎迪克分析國情諮文血腥現況 | 每日秀 (Jon Stewart on Trump's Tariff Tirade & Desi Lydic on the Gory State of the Union | The Daily Show)
Uploaded: 2026-03-05T01:28:10.000Z
Duration: 39 min 12 s

As you know, tomorrow night is President Donald Jar Jar Trump's big State of the Union speech.

各位都知道，明晚是川普總統盛大的國情諮文演講。

But no matter what Trump says, folks, it's not going to change how we in this country are feeling.

但川普說什麼都好，各位，這不會改變我們國家此刻的心情。

This country is in such emotional turmoil right now.

The government sanctioned and executed violence in Minnesota, the rank corruption and profiteering of elected officials and their families, the manufactured outrage over, God forbid, an American performing at halftime in the super bowl in Spanish.

政府在明尼蘇達州準許並執行了暴力，民選官員及其家人的嚴重腐敗和牟取暴利，以及因為，天哪，一個美國人在超級盃中場表演唱西班牙語而引起的憤怒。

It's a feeling that we are one nation divided, under siege.

這是一種我們是一個分裂的國家，受到圍攻的感覺。

That perhaps we've crossed a rubicon of this great American experiment.

或許我們已經跨過了這個偉大美國實驗的盧比孔河。

And that we slowly and inexorably are sliding into the abyss of fallen and broken democracies.

而我們正緩慢且不可避免地滑向一個衰落和破碎民主國家的深淵。

But then lack across it comes Jeff Hughes wins it.

I know the powerful elites remain unaccountable, but he put the thing behind that other guy.

我知道權貴們依然逍遙法外，但他讓那件事發生在另一個人後面。

But the vulcanized rubber disk went past the lord of the net.

但那塊硫化橡膠圓盤飛過了網前守門員。

There is nothing that can take away from the joyous moment as all Americans celebrate this incredi.

沒有什麼能奪走這歡樂的時刻，因為所有美國人都在慶祝這不可思議的。

那是聯邦調查局局長 Cash Patel 嗎？

Why is our FBI and why are they putting a medal around the neck of FBI Director?

為什麼我們的聯邦調查局，而且他們還在聯邦調查局局長脖子上掛獎牌？

Cash Patel 是那種「願望成真」的小孩嗎？

And I'm not trying to diminish his condition.

There is currently no cure for crazy eyes.

目前沒有治療「瘋狂眼神」的方法。

For when you want to turn every picture into some sort of meth fueled mugshot.

就是那種讓你每張照片都像吸了安非他命後拍的犯人照。

Are you telling me I was going 90 and a 35?

你是說我開九十，結果是三十五嗎？

But I gotta tell you, Maga especially is going crazy for the victory.

但我必須說，Maga 特別為勝利而瘋狂。

American pride, power and patriotism on full display.

美國的驕傲、力量和愛國心展露無遺。

These are things that like have been completely and totally sanitized from our arch feminist culture, our estrogenetic culture.

這些東西，在我們極致女性主義、estrogenetic 文化裡，已經被徹底、完全地淨化掉了。

First of all, what a super weird year hockey is having.

首先，今年冰球過得真是奇怪。

Like in four months to go from nobody gives a shit about hockey to well, I like to watch them.

就像在四個月內，大家從根本不在乎冰球，變成「嗯，我喜歡看冰球」。

To only hockey can save us from a dystopian extro genetic future.

只有冰球能拯救我們免於一個反烏託邦的、estrogenetic 的未來。

Perhaps the strangest part is how this victory in a hockey match is being perceived on the right geopolitically.

或許最奇怪的部分是，這場冰球賽的勝利在地緣政治右派眼中是如何被看待的。

Got to go all the way back to 1980 when we defeated the Soviets.

得回溯到1980年，我們擊敗蘇聯人的時候。

This felt just as sweet because I guess since we don't have Russia to kick around Anymore.

這次的勝利感覺一樣甜美，因為我想，既然我們沒有俄羅斯可以欺負了。

They're practically communists and they're cozying up to the Giant.

他們簡直是共產黨員，還跟巨頭稱兄道弟。

And by the way, don't we in America have enough real enemies?

順帶一提，我們美國不是已經有夠多真正的敵人了嗎？

Now we gotta pretend like Canada's way of life is incongruous to the west.

現在我們還要假裝加拿大的生活方式跟西方格格不入。

Yeah, those completely best neighbors our nation has ever had.

對啊，就是我們國家史上最棒的鄰居。

I think we had like a little fight about beaver pelts in like 1789.

我覺得我們大概在 1789 年為了海狸皮吵過一架。

We have defeated our new enemy Canada on the ice and vanquished them to the penalty box of history.

我們在冰球場上擊敗了我們的新敵人加拿大，並將他們放逐到歷史的罰球區。

現在美國可以進入黃金時代了。

The United States could be on the brink of war with Iran.

美國可能正處於與伊朗開戰的邊緣。

What possible conflict could we have with people in street shoes?

我們跟穿著運動鞋的人會有什麼衝突？

The drumbeat of a possible war with Iran growing louder?

與伊朗開戰的鼓聲越來越響了嗎？

The largest assembly of U.S. forces in the Middle east that we've seen in years.

這是我們多年來在中東見過的最大規模的美軍集結。

One report is saying we are days away from strikes, days away from war.

有一份報導說，我們距離開戰只剩幾天了。

Usually when we get into war in the Middle east, there's a Marty supreme level press rollout.

通常我們在中東開戰時，都會有像 Marty supreme 那樣的記者會。

Months and months of endless promotion, interviews, manufactured intelligence.

長達數月、無止盡的宣傳、採訪、捏造情報。

They got weapons of mass destruction swap.

他們有大規模毀滅性武器的交易。

Until finally we acquiesced to the war just in the hopes that the selling of it will stop because it seems vaguely charming.

直到最後，我們才為了停止販售而默許了這場戰爭，因為這似乎有點迷人。

But this war, one day it's nothing and the next day we filled their waterway with giant ships.

但這場戰爭，有一天它什麼都不是，隔天我們就用巨艦填滿了他們的水道。

Special envoy Steve Witkoff has this warning about Iran's nuclear power.

特使 Steve Witkoff 對伊朗核武發出了警告。

They're probably a week away from having industrial, industrial grade bomb making material.

他們可能在一週內就能取得工業級、工業等級的炸彈製造材料。

離炸彈完成還有五個工作天嗎？

Do they work through, I gotta say, a week away from having the material for a nuclear bomb.

他們是不是工作到，我必須說，離擁有核彈材料只剩一週了。

You know, I thought I remembered someone saying something about that nation's nuclear program being.

我記得好像有人說過關於那個國家的核武計畫。

Iran's key nuclear enrichment facilities have been completely and totally obliterated.

伊朗主要的核濃縮設施已經被徹底摧毀了。

I remember Trump saying we totally obliterated their nuclear program and yelling at people who questioned it, which makes me wonder how obliterated was it?

我記得川普說過，我們徹底摧毀了他們的核武計畫，還對質疑的人大吼大叫，這讓我想知道，到底摧毀到什麼程度了？

It was obliterated like nobody's ever seen before.

So the kind of obliteration that somehow rebliterates almost immediately.

所以是那種好像馬上又會「再摧毀」的摧毀方式。

We obliterated that building, the building we are currently standing on.

我們摧毀了那棟建築，就是我們現在站的這棟建築。

So is our plan now to re obliterate their nuclear program every few months or is there a longer term strategy?

所以我們的計畫是要每隔幾個月就「再摧毀」一次他們的核武計畫，還是有長期的策略？

Taking the armada to offshore Iran is to put pressure on Iran first and foremost to come to the table to negotiate around nuclear weapons.

派出艦隊前往伊朗近海，主要是為了向伊朗施壓，讓他們坐上談判桌，討論核武問題。

喔，我懂了，這是老掉牙的胡蘿蔔策略。

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強森史都華怒批川普關稅暴走！黛西黎迪克分析國情諮文血腥現況 | 每日秀 (Jon Stewart on Trump's Tariff Tirade & Desi Lydic on the Gory State of the Union | The Daily Show)

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