Name: 柯南吐槽威爾·阿奈特念長篇引述 | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend (Conan Roasts Will Arnett For Reading A Long Quote | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend)
Uploaded: 2026-03-01T21:40:47.000Z
Duration: 8 min 52 s

形容詞最高級

I read the greatest quote that we don't have to get into now, but

我讀到一句很棒的話，現在不用細講，但

未來簡單式

It's quite long, so I'm not going to bore you.

內容有點長，所以就不讓大家聽得無聊了。

And she has this other one called Beautiful World.

然後她還有另一本叫做 Beautiful World. Where are you?

It came out, like three or four years ago.

There's this quote at the end that Buck is about.

Because you can be listing things she's done, and I'd like to hear the quote.

因為你可以列出她做過的事情，我很想聽聽那句引言。

She displaces about 65 liters of water if you put her in a tank.

如果把她放進水槽，她會排開約 65 公升的水。

Honestly, your references are all, like, old and.

老實說，你的參考資料都好舊喔。

Why don't you go choke on her Red Sox bat while you're at it?

你乾脆去吞她的 Red Sox bat 好了。

你是誰啊，白市長，然後現在是 1975 年。

Hey, why don't you go fill in the back bay so there's more usable land?

嘿，你乾脆去填海造地，這樣就有更多可用土地了。

So this woman writes this thing, this book.

所以這位女士寫了這個東西，這本書。

她是個作家，然後她正在寫一封。

A note to her friend, and she's just done an interview about her new book.

給她朋友的信，她剛做完一個關於她新書的訪談。

She says, I don't know if you've been following any of this, but

她說，我不知道你們有沒有在追蹤這些，但是

about a month ago, I was doing an interview over email, and

大約一個月前，我正在用 email 做訪談，然後

a journalist asked me what my partner thought of my books.

一位記者問我，我的伴侶對我的書有什麼看法。

Unthinkingly, I wrote back that he had never read them.

我沒多想就回覆說他從沒讀過。

So, of course, this became the headline of the interview.

所以，當然，這就成了這次訪談的標題。

Alice Kelleher, my boyfriend, has never read my books.

Alice Kelleher，我的男友，從沒讀過我的書。

And afterwards, Felix, her boyfriend, saw a popular tweet saying, something like, this is tragic.

後來，Felix，她的男友，看到一個熱門的推文，上面寫著，有點像，這太悲慘了。

He showed me the tweet on the screen of his phone one evening without saying anything.

一天晚上，他默默地在手機螢幕上給我看那則推文。

And at first I thought a perfect example of our shallow self congratulatory book culture in which non readers are shunned as morally inferior and the more books you read, the better you are than everyone else.

一開始我以為這是我們淺薄、自以為是的書本文化的一個完美例子，這種文化鄙視不讀書的人，認為他們在道德上比較差勁，而且你讀的書越多，你就比別人越優秀。

What we really have here is an example of a presumably normal insane person whose thinking has been deranged by the concept of celebrity.

這其實是一個正常但有點瘋狂的人，因為名人這個概念而讓他的想法變得扭曲。

An example of someone who genuinely believes that because she has seen my photograph and read my novels, she knows me personally and in fact knows better than I do what is best for my life.

這是一個例子，說明有人真的認為，因為她看過我的照片、讀過我的小說，所以她就認識我了，而且事實上，她比我還清楚什麼對我的人生最好。

It's normal for her not only to think of these bizarre thoughts privately, but

她不只私下有這些奇怪的想法，

to express them in public and receive positive feedback and attention.

還會在公開場合表達，並且得到正面的回應和關注，這都很正常。

As a result, she has no idea that she is, in this small, limited respect, quite literally insane.

結果就是，她完全不知道，在某個小範圍、有限的層面上，她根本就是瘋了。

Because everyone around her is also insane in exactly the same way.

因為她身邊的每個人，也都是以完全相同的方式在瘋。

They really cannot tell the difference between someone they have heard of and someone they personally know.

他們真的分不出來，聽過名字的人跟親自認識的人有什麼差別。

And they believe that the feelings they have about this person they imagine me to be intimacy, resentment, hatred, pity, are as real as the feelings they have about their own friends.

而且他們相信，他們對這個他們想像中的我所產生的親近、怨恨、憎恨、同情等感覺，跟他們對自己朋友產生的感覺一樣真實。

And it makes me wonder whether celebrity culture has sort of metastasized to fill the emptiness left by religion.

這讓我不禁想，名人文化是不是已經像癌症一樣擴散，填補了宗教留下的空虛。

Like a malignant growth where the sacred used to be.

就像是腫瘤一樣，侵蝕了原本神聖的空間。

我唯一的遺憾就是時間太短了。

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柯南吐槽威爾·阿奈特念長篇引述 | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend (Conan Roasts Will Arnett For Reading A Long Quote | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend)

phenomenon

insane

intimacy

profound