Name: 《星際大戰》惡搞！約翰·奧利佛推出「取消的清倉特賣」！ (Late Show Home Shopping: Canceled Clearance Sale! with John Oliver)
Uploaded: 2026-02-03T17:05:57.000Z
Duration: 9 min 2 s

Oh, you're gonna want to save some of that energy for our.

喔，你們會想留點力氣給今晚的。

For our guests tonight because I hold in my hot little hands the card full of questions for Mr.

今晚的嘉賓，因為我手裡拿著這張問題卡，要問的是。

We're finally, finally gonna get it right, folks.

各位，我們終於、終於要把它做對了。

I'm having a great time doing the show here at the historic Ed Sullivan Theater.

我在歷史悠久的 Ed Sullivan Theater 做這個節目，玩得很開心。

But in a few months, yeah, unbelievably beautiful.

但幾個月後，對，美得令人難以置信。

But in a few months, I'm going to have to vacate the premises and to make a move.

但幾個月後，我得搬離這裡，得搬家了。

Did y' all just find out those who watch the show more often, to make that move as easily as possible, we have decided to harness the power and style of home shopping networks to sell off everything I can from the late show and donate the proceeds to charity.

你們是剛知道嗎？那些比較常看節目的人，為了讓搬家盡可能順利，我們決定借鏡購物臺的風格和力量，把《The Late Show》裡我能賣的東西全賣掉，然後把所得捐給慈善機構。

Because if I don't sell it off for charity, the network will sell off everything for pennies on the dollar and use the cash to buy Warner Brothers.

因為如果我不把東西捐出去做慈善，電視臺就會把所有東西賤價賣掉，然後拿錢去買華納兄弟。

Tonight we have a gorgeous selection of beautiful deals and exclusive prices.

今晚我們有琳瑯滿目的優惠和獨家價格。

And everything you see here and more is up for auction on our website, colbertlateshow.com eBay or use that thing right there, which I believe takes you to a Covid era restaurant menu.

你看到的還有更多東西，都在我們的網站 colbertlateshow.com eBay 上拍賣，或者用那個東西，我猜那會帶你到疫情時期的餐廳菜單。

Go bid on these great items because all proceeds will go to World Central Kitchen, an organization.

快去標這些很棒的商品吧，因為所有收益都會捐給 World Central Kitchen 這個組織。

An organization that feeds people wherever there's war or natural disaster.

一個在有戰爭或自然災害的地方餵食人們的組織。

Because regular catering jobs just weren't hard enough.

因為一般的餐飲工作還不夠難。

Joining me tonight, as always, is my co host, Mr. John Oliver.

今晚和我一起的，一如往常，是我的共同主持人，John Oliver 先生。

Oh, thank you, Stephen, for forcing me to wear this outfit.

喔，謝謝你，Stephen，強迫我穿這套衣服。

John, are you ready to throw your credibility out the window and sell something of questionable value?

John，你準備好拋開你的信譽，賣一些價值可疑的東西了嗎？

Stephen，我演過兩部《藍色小精靈》電影。

First up, a luxury item from my own personal collection.

首先，是我個人收藏裡的一件奢侈品。

It's my actual script from the final episode of the Colbert Report.

這是我《Colbert Report》最後一集的實際劇本。

also by acclaimed singer songwriter Randy Newman, one of history's greatest randys, right between Quaid and Macho Man Savage.

還有備受讚譽的創作歌手 Randy Newman，他是史上最偉大的 Randy 之一，就在 Quaid 和 Macho Man Savage 中間。

John, how much would you pay for an exciting product like this?

John，像這樣令人興奮的產品，你會出多少錢？

Well, this is an absolute must have for anyone who's a fan of Steven or Randy Newman or pieces of paper with the date December 18, 2014 written on them.

嗯，這絕對是 Steven 或 Randy Newman 的粉絲，或是上面寫著 2014 年 12 月 18 日日期的紙張的粉絲必備品。

So I would expect to pay at least 50,000 quid.

所以我預計至少會出 50,000 英鎊。

And if you act now, I will also throw in the script for the final episode of the Late Show.

如果你現在就行動，我還會送你《The Late Show》最後一集的劇本。

Of course, you'll have to wait to receive this until after we have written the script.

當然，你得等到我們寫完劇本後才能收到。

So far, all we have is welcome to the Late show followed by many words I cannot say on television.

到目前為止，我們只有「歡迎來到《The Late Show》」，後面接著許多我不能在電視上說的話。

And to make this perfect collection even more so, I will be adding this poster that I have made for the Late show with John Oliver.

為了讓這個完美收藏更加完美，我還會加上這張我為《The Late Show with John Oliver》製作的海報。

Just in case CBS changes their mind and decides they do actually want to stay in the late night game.

以防萬一 CBS 改變心意，決定他們真的想繼續經營深夜節目。

You seem like a great company to work for, wouldn't you say so, Steven?

你們公司聽起來很棒，你說是不是，Steven？

我會這麼說，直到五月二十二號為止。

Up next, we have an incredible piece of broadcast history and a comfortable place to sit.

接下來，我們要介紹一件不可思議的廣播歷史文物，還有一個舒服的座位。

那就是《The Late Show》的嘉賓椅。

Now, this is the chair where guests of the Late show have sat across from Stephen Colbert while he pretended to listen to them.

接下來，這就是《The Late Show》的嘉賓們，坐在史蒂芬·柯爾伯特面前，聽他假裝在聽他們說話的椅子。

Yes, this is the chair where guests of the Late show have sat across from Stephen Colbert while he pretended to listen to them.

沒錯，這就是《The Late Show》的嘉賓們，坐在史蒂芬·柯爾伯特面前，聽他假裝在聽他們說話的椅子。

Now, over the years, this chair has seen the ass of a thousand celebrities narrowly beating Pete Davidson's record.

多年來，這張椅子見證了無數名人的屁股，差一點就打破了彼特·戴維森的紀錄。

And to make this chair even better, I will be leaving some change between the cushions.

為了讓這張椅子更棒，我會在坐墊之間放一些零錢。

And by change, I mean a one hundred dollar bill signed by both Stephen and myself.

我說的零錢，是指一張由史蒂芬和我簽名的一百美元鈔票。

And we are starting bidding tonight at $98.

So there is a chance that you could make two bucks.

接下來，一件設計師的時尚單品。

It's the big furry hat I Wore during all 31 installments of my iconic segment.

這是我在我標誌性單元所有 31 集裡戴的大毛帽。

Don't miss your chance to own a piece of late night history.

千萬別錯過擁有深夜歷史一角的機會。

Specifically the night seven years ago when we stopped doing this bit.

尤其是七年前我們停止這個單元的那一夜。

Now, John, what would you pay for this one of a kind item like this?

好了，John，像這種獨一無二的物品，你會出多少錢？

Well, Stephen, big furry hat is a segment I cannot forget because I never learned what it was.

嗯，Stephen，大毛帽這個單元我怎麼也忘不了，因為我從來不知道它到底是什麼。

Like most people, I skipped the first few years of your show.

就像大多數人一樣，我跳過了你節目最初的幾年。

But if I had to guess, I'd say it's worth $43 million.

但如果我非得猜，我會說它價值四千三百萬美元。

That is the suggested retail price, but we will start bidding tonight at just $100.

那是建議售價，但我們今晚的起標價只要一百美元。

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《星際大戰》惡搞！約翰·奧利佛推出「取消的清倉特賣」！ (Late Show Home Shopping: Canceled Clearance Sale! with John Oliver)

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