We got for you lovely folks here in here and out There, we have two greats, Ms.

我們為這裡和那裡的各位準備了兩位很棒的嘉賓，Ms.

Be out here answering some questions about the world.

會在這裡回答一些關於這個世界的問題。

Folks, if you watch the show, then you know that most nights I spend most of my time right over there in the news confectionary.

各位，如果你有看這個節目，就知道我大部分時間都花在那邊的新聞點心房。

Tempering the most topical 70% of Alorona Dark chocolate story ganache with heavy cream, truffle oil and vanilla, which I drizzle over a rare French Perigord truffle, then lay on a bed of sugar pearls to create the elegant house of Knipschild La Madeleine Autreuffe chocolate bonbon.

將 Alorona Dark chocolate 的故事甘納許，用鮮奶油、松露油和香草調製，淋在稀有的法國佩裡戈松露上，再鋪上糖珠，做出 Knipschild La Madeleine Autreuffe 精緻巧克力軟糖。

But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, I regain consciousness in the trunk of an abandoned 95 Pontiac Sunfire and scrape some melted Sour Patch kids off the dashboard into a discarded packet of fun dip.

但有時候，真的就是有那麼幾次，各位，我會意識到自己身處一輛廢棄的 95 年 Pontiac Sunfire 的後車廂裡，然後把儀錶板上融化的 Sour Patch Kids 刮進一個用過的 Fun Dip 包裝袋裡。

Watch a tire fire while gnawing on the ass taffy of news.

看著輪胎起火，同時啃著新聞的「屁股太妃糖」。

我喜歡「屁股太妃糖」這個詞。

Meanwhile, a British inventor says his tricked out trash can that broke the Guinness world record for the fastest wheelie bin can now reach a speed of 66 miles per hour.

同時，一位英國發明家說，他那打破金氏世界紀錄的超炫垃圾桶，現在可以達到時速 66 英里。

好了，讓我們來看看它的實際表現。

And it's convenient because if he hits so much as a pebble on the highway, they can just close the lid and he's ready for burial.

而且很方便，如果他撞到高速公路上的小石頭，他們就可以關上蓋子，準備埋葬了。

天啊，如果他撞到葡萄乾怎麼辦。

Meanwhile, new research shows that five minutes more exercise and 30 minutes less of sitting could help millions live longer.

同時，最新研究顯示，每天多運動五分鐘、少坐三十分鐘，就能幫助數百萬人活得更久。

Meanwhile, last week in Miami, a video captured a train smashing into a food delivery robot for Uber Eats and Doordash.

同時，上週在邁阿密，一段影片捕捉到一列火車撞上 Uber Eats 和 Doordash 的外送機器人。

Witnesses say the robot reportedly remained motionless on the track for 15 minutes before the collision.

目擊者說，據報機器人在撞擊前，在軌道上靜止了15分鐘。

I can't deliver another burrito to drunk cops.

我不能再送一個墨西哥捲餅給醉漢警察了。

我就在這裡等，看看會發生什麼事。

Bongo is the name of the dog in this scenario.

Bongo是這個情境裡狗狗的名字。

剛剛看起來不太開心的那隻狗狗。

But in the Bay Area, a Malnour sea lion pup was found near the Google campus.

同時，在灣區，Google園區附近發現了一隻營養不良的海獅寶寶。

Authorities say that based on seasonal and migratory patterns, the seal pup was most likely trying to get an internship.

官員表示，根據季節和遷徙模式，這隻海獅寶寶很可能是想來這裡實習。

They have a bowling alley and a free juice bar.

他們有保齡球館和免費的果汁吧。

Meanwhile, in Food News, a researcher has discovered that something called the popcorn sandwich was a real recipe in 1909.

同時，在美食新聞方面，有研究人員發現，一種叫做爆米花三明治的東西，在1909年就真的有這個食譜了。

Also a real recipe in 2026, if you are divorced.

而且在2026年也會是個真實的食譜，如果你離婚的話。

We got bread and p. Dinner tonight is a popcorn sandwich.

我們有麵包和 p。今晚晚餐是爆米花三明治。

這不是比媽媽做的還好很多嗎？

So who's this Roger she was talking about?

Can you write down Roger's license plate number for Daddy?

你可以把 Roger 的車牌號碼寫下來給爸爸嗎？

He's got some friends at the precinct, so.

他在警局有認識的朋友，所以。

So what do you need to make the world's most depressing sandwich?

所以，你要準備什麼才能做出世界上最讓人沮喪的三明治？

The ingredients are freshly popped popcorn, sardines, salt, a pinch of cayenne pepper, ketchup, a dash of Worcestershire sauce, hot buttered toast, and

食材有現爆的爆米花、沙丁魚、鹽、一點點辣椒粉、番茄醬、少許伍斯特醬、熱奶油吐司，還有

Parmesan, which sounds less like a sandwich and more like the death row meal requested by a cat.

帕瑪森起司，聽起來不像三明治，比較像貓咪點的死囚最後一餐。

If you want to talk to your younger co workers, you'll have to know that the latest term being thrown around by today's kids is choppelganger, which is defined as someone's uglier copy because it mixes doppelganger and chopped, which is now used by today's youth to call another person ugly.

如果你想跟年輕的同事哈拉，你得知道現在年輕人最愛用的新詞是 choppelganger，意思是某人醜陋的複製品，因為它結合了 doppelganger（分身）和 chopped（被砍），現在年輕人就用這個詞來罵人醜。

Today's kids can be so cruel, they don't even try to say things gently.

現在的小孩真的好殘忍，他們都不會試著溫柔地說話。

In my day, we used to say you were plain, as in, man, your cousin looks like he was hit by a plane.

我以前啊，我們會說你長得普通，像是，老兄，你表哥看起來像是被飛機撞到一樣。

我們馬上回來，請鎖定珍芳達。

Meanwhile... 紀錄保持者垃圾桶！| 機器人掰掰！| 爆米花三明治！| 遇見你的「變臉替身」！ (Meanwhile... Record-Setting Trash Can | RIP Robot | Popcorn Sandwich | Meet Your "Choppelganger")