Name: 魯比歐：美國想買格陵蘭｜偷竊委內瑞拉石油｜歐茲醫生：酒精能拉近人與人的距離 (Rubio: U.S. Wants To Buy Greenland | Stealing Venezuela's Oil | Dr. Oz: Booze Brings People Together)
Uploaded: 2026-01-12T17:16:58.000Z
Duration: 12 min 25 s

You know, you can feel the energy in this room.

說真的，你感受得到這個房間裡的能量。

It was a beautiful spring like day here in New York.

紐約這裡天氣就像個美好的春天。

All that global warming is finally paying off.

所有的全球暖化總算有點回報了。

Even the coldest places on the planet are heating up like Greenland for some reason and we're not entirely sure why.

就算地球上最冷的地方，像是格陵蘭，也因為某些原因暖化了，而我們也不是很確定為什麼。

For some reason, Donald Trump is obsessed with that frozen gravel pile and won't rule out using the military to acquire it.

說也奇怪，川普對那堆結冰的碎石地著迷，而且不排除動用軍隊來取得它。

Greenland is a NATO ally because it's part of denmark.

格陵蘭是北約的盟友，因為它是丹麥的一部分。

And Article 5 of the NATO charter clearly states that an armed attack against one NATO member shall be considered an attack against them all.

而北約憲章第五條明確規定，對一個北約成員國的武裝攻擊，將被視為對所有成員國的攻擊。

So if we attack Greenland, we'll have to fight all of NATO.

所以，如果我們攻擊格陵蘭，就得跟整個北約開戰。

還有，你知道還有誰也在北約裡嗎？

Yesterday, Speaker Mike Johnson was asked the age old question, should the United States invade Greenland?

昨天，議長麥克·強森被問到一個老問題：美國應該入侵格陵蘭嗎？

And he said, no, I don't think that's appropriate.

而他說，不，我不認為這樣做是適當的。

We're talking about attacking an ally, not wearing jeans to a wedding.

我們在談論攻擊盟友，而不是穿著牛仔褲參加婚禮。

GOP Rep. Don Bacon was asked about it and bacon was crisp.

共和黨眾議員唐·培根被問到此事，而培根的回答很乾脆。

And we're not going to acquire Greenland for NATO allies.

而且我們不會為北約盟友取得格陵蘭。

We have bases there and we can build on that.

我們在那裡有基地，而且我們可以以此為基礎。

So this is one of the silliest things I have heard come out of the White House.

所以這是我聽過白宮說過最愚蠢的事情之一。

考慮到這一點，這已經說明瞭很多。

Last year was the first we heard the words FIFA Peace Prize.

去年是我們第一次聽到 FIFA Peace Prize 這個詞。

I guess Venezuela doesn't have a soccer team.

The biggest criticism of Trump's plan came from famed geopolitical strategist Bjork, who posted I wish all Greenlanders blessings in their fight for independence.

對川普計畫最大的批評來自著名的地緣政治策略家 Bjork，她發文說祝所有格陵蘭人爭取獨立順利。

This woman gets dressed by dipping herself in glue and rolling around in a hobby lobby rickrack everywhere.

這個女人穿衣服的方式是把自己泡在膠水裡，然後在 hobby lobby 的鋸齒滾邊條裡打滾。

Now, it's still possible there's an outside chance we don't invade.

現在，還是有可能我們不會入侵。

This week, in a closed door meeting, Marco Rubio assured lawmakers that recent administration threats against Greenland did not signal an imminent invasion and that the goal is to buy the island from Denmark.

這週，在閉門會議中，Marco Rubio 向議員保證，政府近期對格陵蘭的威脅並不代表即將入侵，目標是從丹麥買下這個島。

It actually sounds weirder because I don't know if you knew this.

其實聽起來更怪，因為我不知道你知不知道這件事。

People don't buy and sell countries anymore.

Apparently our foreign policy is from the 19th century.

顯然我們的外交政策是19世紀的。

Remember this month is open enrollment for leech care.

還記得這個月是醫療保險的註冊開放期嗎？

I single handedly ended eight wars and Norway, a NATO member, foolishly chose not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize.

我一個人結束了八場戰爭，而身為北約成員的挪威，卻愚蠢地沒有頒給我諾貝爾和平獎。

Because it kind of sounds like it matters, but yes, Norway.

因為聽起來好像很重要，但對，挪威。

Why didn't you give him the Noble Peace Prize?

為什麼你們沒頒給他諾貝爾和平獎？

Imagine how upset he's going to be when he finds out he also didn't get the Nobel Peace Prize.

想像一下，當他發現自己也沒拿到諾貝爾和平獎時，會有多生氣。

But to prevent international conflict, I hereby award Donald Trump the Nobel Prize.

但為了防止國際衝突，我在此頒發諾貝爾獎給唐納·川普。

Technically, technically, it is a bomb Barnes and Noble Prize.

技術上來說，技術上來說，這是炸彈 Barnes and Noble 獎。

I think it's still got like five bucks on it or something like that.

我覺得上面還有大概五塊錢之類的。

Now there's more news from a country that Trump has already invaded.

現在又有來自川普已經入侵過的國家的消息了。

Because last night Trump announced the US will sell 50 million barrels of Venezuelan oil.

因為昨晚川普宣佈美國將出售五千萬桶委內瑞拉的石油。

我真不敢相信我會這麼說，但是

presidents can't just steal and sell stuff that belongs to another country.

總統不能就這樣偷走並賣掉屬於別國的東西。

Though it does explain why he says the country's name like this.

不過這倒是解釋了他為什麼會這樣說那個國家的名字。

委內瑞拉，我來搶你的甜美原油。

你會怎麼對付一個委內瑞拉人？

Trump explained this oil will be sold at its market price and that money will be controlled by me.

川普解釋說，這些石油將以市價出售，而這些錢將由我掌控。

That's the most illegal sounding thing I have ever heard.

這聽起來是我聽過最違法的事情了。

The only way this could sound more illegal is if the Trump parked the oil tankers in a school zone.

這件事聽起來更違法的方法，就是川普把油輪停在學校區域。

Trump promises that the petrodollars will be used to benefit the people of Venezuela and the United States.

川普承諾這些石油美元將用於造福委內瑞拉和美國人民。

所以委內瑞拉的人們，有個好消息。

加拉加斯要蓋一座川普宴會廳了。

Also, Trump also said the oil will be taken by storage ships and brought directly to unloading docks in the United States.

另外，川普也說這些石油將由儲油船載運，直接運到美國的卸貨碼頭。

Are you going to put the oil on Facebook?

Oh, hey, my wife sent me to pick up the 50 million barrels of Venezuelan crude.

喔，嘿，我老婆叫我載這五千萬桶委內瑞拉原油。

So guess I should put the seat down then.

所以我想我應該把座位放下來。

This morning the US military seized two Venezuela linked oil tankers.

今天早上美軍扣押了兩艘與委內瑞拉有關的油輪。

One of the vessels was captured in the Caribbean.

其中一艘船是在加勒比海被捕獲的。

Possibly the Caribbean, we're not sure yet.

可能是加勒比海，我們還不確定。