Name: 停止追逐偉大時的平靜 (The Peace That Comes When You Stop Chasing Greatness)
Uploaded: 2025-10-18T03:11:38.000Z
Duration: 12 min 12 s

You know, I haven't felt anything in months.

說真的，我已經幾個月都沒什麼感覺了。

過去簡單式

Like, I just thought that I was really calm or I was just.

就像，我只是覺得我很平靜，或者我只是。

I haven't felt a single feeling in a really, really long time.

我已經很久很久沒有感覺到任何一點情緒了。

And I thought that this numbness was a good sign.

我還以為這種遲鈍是個好兆頭。

Like, maybe I was finally happy, or maybe I was finally.

像是，也許我終於快樂了，或者我終於。

Was falling into place and everything was doing good.

But I think I swapped out happiness for productivity.

但我覺得我把快樂換成了生產力。

I swapped out happiness for one day I'm gonna have all of these achievements.

我把快樂換成了「總有一天我會有所有這些成就」。

And I completely put myself and how I was feeling and everything on the back burner.

而且我完全把我自己、我的感受和所有事情都擱置了。

You can't give a shit about your feelings.

You can't give a shit about your energy levels.

You can't give a shit about the fact that you haven't felt a single feeling in months, that you haven't had a single thought in your head, that you haven't had a creative spark in a really long time.

你不能在意你幾個月來沒有任何感受、腦袋裡沒有任何想法、很久沒有創意火花了這件事。

And of course, it's really easy to fall pity to hustle culture just because it seems achievable.

當然，很容易落入奮鬥文化的陷阱，因為它看起來好像可以達成。

Like, just stop thinking, stop feeling, and just work.

像是，就別想了，別感覺了，然後就去工作。

And then eventually you'll be happy and you'll get everything done.

然後最終你會開心，你會把所有事情都做完。

But I gotta say, I'm in the middle of the busiest weeks of my life, and

不過我得說，我正處於我人生中最忙碌的幾週，

But then sometimes I sit down at night and I'm just like, I wish I could just feel something.

但有時候晚上坐下來，我就會想，我真希望我能感覺到點什麼。

And I've been thinking a lot about two phrases a lot recently.

One is, do not let the world turn you bitter.

一個是，別讓世界讓你感到苦澀。

And the other is, we are human beings, not human doings.

另一個是，我們是人類，不是行為者。

所以，別讓世界讓你感到苦澀。

This is something that I always used to say to myself when I was a kid, because I would walk around and I would see all of these adults, you know, and

這是我小時候常常對自己說的話，因為我會到處走動，看到好多大人，你知道的，

they're grumbling and they're complaining and they're rude and they yell and they snap and they're just these bitter people.

他們在抱怨、在發牢騷、態度惡劣，還會大吼大叫、口氣很差，就是一群苦澀的人。

I hated the adults who were like that, who weren't kind to kids.

我討厭那些對小孩不友善的大人。

I hated the adults that were like that, who they just.

我討厭那樣的大人，他們就是。

They were bitter all the time, and they made the world such a horrible place.

他們總是苦澀，把世界搞得一團糟。

I made a promise to myself when I was younger, don't let the world turn you into that.

我小時候就對自己發誓，別讓世界把你變成那樣。

Because I understood from a very early age that people turn bitter because they've been through bad Things.

因為我很早就明白，人們之所以變得苦澀，是因為他們經歷過不好的事情。

他們進入了「為什麼是我？」的山洞。

Why couldn't better things had happened to me?

為什麼沒有更好的事情發生在我身上？

And they just sit around and they ponder that question their whole life.

然後他們就整天坐在那裡，一輩子都在思考這個問題。

So I told myself I would not let that happen to me.

所以我告訴自己，我不會讓這種事發生在我身上。

我會把我的「為什麼」轉化為力量。

I would do what was necessary to carry me forward.

我會做我必須做的事來讓自己前進。

I would not become bitter, no matter how much life tried to pull me down.

無論生活如何試圖打壓我，我都不會變得苦澀。

I find myself grumbling and I find myself complaining, and I find myself snapping at people.

我發現自己不斷抱怨，不斷抱怨，還會對人發脾氣。

And I find myself just angry all the time.

It's like there's something underneath the anger that's causing the anger.

就像生氣之下還有別的東西在引發生氣一樣。

而且我對自己的遲鈍感到生氣。

I'm angry that I don't feel as deeply as I used to.

我生氣我不再像以前那樣深刻地感受。

I'm angry that I don't walk around with as much love and gratitude, naturally, as I used to.

我生氣我不再像以前那樣自然地充滿愛與感激。

That I'm not filled with, like, wondering, creativity and happiness.

And this other thing I've been thinking about is this quote that says, we are human beings, not human doings.

另外我一直在想這句話：「我們是人類，不是行為者。」

Meaning that the very essence of life, the very essence of being human, is just to be here.

意思是生命的本質，身而為人的本質，就是在這裡。

There's not anything you have to run off and do.

There's not anything you have to run off and be.

沒有什麼是你必須跑去成為的。

沒有什麼山是你必須去攀登的。

And everyone here knows that, like, my deepest, deepest wound is that I just want to go and be something great so that I can prove that I'm worthy of love, right?

而且這裡的每個人都知道，我心裡最深、最深的傷痛就是，我總想著要去成就一番偉大事業，來證明自己值得被愛，對吧？

This is my deepest thing that I've never gotten past my entire life.

Like, every time I try to push for something, every time I try to go for something, it's always deeply rooted in the insecurity that I'm not good enough.

像是每次我想要努力爭取什麼，每次我想要去達成什麼，都深深植根於「我不夠好」的不安全感。

And that I somehow have to prove that I am good enough.

而且我總覺得必須證明自己是夠好的。

I do them because I'm running from myself.

I don't want to sit around and face the fact that, like, hey, even if you never accomplish anything, from now till the day you die, you're still good enough.

我不想坐著面對這個事實：嘿，就算你從現在到死、一事無成，你還是夠好的。

That is a sentence I do not want to hear.

That is a sentence I do not want to believe.

I've been running my entire Life from people, from memories, from myself.

我的人生一直在逃避，逃避人群、逃避回憶、逃避我自己。

And so if you ask me to stop running for just a second, you ask me to be any less productive, you ask me to be any less busy, I do not know who I am without running.

所以如果你要我停下來跑一下，要我少一點生產力，要我少一點忙碌，我不知道沒有奔跑的我會是誰。

I do not know who I am without abandoning myself.

我不知道拋棄自己的我會是誰。

I do not know who I am in stillness and in silence.

我不知道靜止和沉默中的我會是誰。

因為逃避一直以來都是我的工作。

Trying to avoid life has always been what I am best at.

試圖逃避人生一直以來都是我最擅長的事。

This week I tried to get back in my rhythm of like, yeah, I want to, like, be an ultra marathon runner and I want to go and get a PhD.

這週我試著找回我的節奏，像是，對，我想，像是，成為一個極限馬拉松跑者，我想去讀個博士。

And I, I tried to run again and I was doing school full time and I'm doing my full time job and my schedule was literally booked so busy I didn't even have a moment to breathe and I was just out running and then I just stopped for a second and I'm like, what the am I doing?

然後我，我試著再次奔跑，我全職唸書，我做著我的全職工作，我的行程真的滿到不行，我連喘口氣的時間都沒有，我只是在外面跑步，然後我停下來一下，我心想，我到底在幹嘛？

And a lot of you will say that that's laziness.

A lot of you will say that you're just not committed enough, you're just not.

很多人會說你們不夠投入，就是不夠。

你們知道我內心深處真正想要的嗎？

I want to be able to love myself without feeling like I have to work myself to the bone to deserve it.

我希望能愛自己，卻不用覺得自己必須拼命工作才配得上。

If you asked me, like, what I wish for every birthday when I blow out those candles is just, I want to feel like I was born enough.

如果你問我，在我吹蠟燭許願的時候，我每年生日都許願什麼，那就是，我希望覺得自己生而為人就足夠了。

Because then maybe I wouldn't deserve the way that I was treated.

因為那樣，也許我就不會配得上我所遭受的對待。

但我看不出任何證據支持這一點。

字幕列表影片播放

停止追逐偉大時的平靜 (The Peace That Comes When You Stop Chasing Greatness)

entire

discipline

rhythm

deserve