女士們先生們，有什麼新消息嗎？

Ladies and gentlemen, at the time of this recording, America stands on the brink of yet another Middle Eastern war.

女士們，先生們，此時此刻，美國正處於另一場中東戰爭的邊緣。

As our closest ally in the region, Israel, a nuclear power, has launched multiple sorties, crippling the command-and-control infrastructure of the Iranian military.

作為我們在該地區最親密的盟友，以色列這個核大國出動了多架次戰機，癱瘓了伊朗軍隊的指揮和控制基礎設施。

Billions of people breathlessly refreshing their news feeds to know what will America do.

數十億人屏息刷新新聞聯播，想知道美國會怎麼做。

Well, last night, Commander-in-Chief Donald John Trump, after consulting with his advisers, poised on the precipice of history, made a powerful and momentous declaration.

昨晚，總司令唐納德-約翰-特朗普（Donald John Trump）在與他的顧問們商議之後，站在歷史的懸崖邊上，發表了一個強有力的重大聲明。

It is my great honor to announce that I will be putting up two beautiful flagpoles on both sides of the White House north and south lawns.

我非常榮幸地宣佈，我將在白宮南北草坪兩側豎起兩根漂亮的旗杆。

This is like your boyfriend getting down on one knee and saying, Kelly, will you make me the happiest man in the world and look at these two beautiful flagpoles?

這就好比你的男朋友單膝跪地對你說：凱莉，你能讓我成為世界上最幸福的男人嗎，看看這兩根美麗的旗杆？

Now, I'm sure you're saying, Steve, are these the most magnificent poles made?

現在，我肯定你會說，史蒂夫，這些是最壯觀的電線杆嗎？

These are the most magnificent poles made.

They are tall, tapered, rust-proof, rope inside the pole, and of the highest quality.

它們高大、錐形、防鏽、杆內有繩、質量上乘。

But fair warning, if you Google tall, tapered, magnificent pole... on your office computer, you will get a call from HR.

不過要提醒你的是，如果你在辦公室的電腦上谷歌高大、錐形、華麗的杆子......，你會接到人力資源部的電話。

Well, as Trump explained, it is a gift from me of something which was always missing from this magnificent place.

正如特朗普所解釋的，這是我送給他的禮物，是這個美麗的地方一直缺少的東西。

The White House already has a flagpole up on the roof.

白宮的屋頂上已經豎起了一根旗杆。

Plus, the White House has another symbol that lets us know it's American.

此外，白宮還有一個標誌，讓我們知道它是美國的。

這不是......這不僅僅是錢的問題。

Of course, that was... that was yesterday, okay?

當然，那是......那是昨天的事，好嗎？

Overnight, the Israelis launched another crippling attack on Iran.

一夜之間，以色列又對伊朗發動了一次毀滅性攻擊。

So this morning, Donald Trump leapt into action and installed the flagpoles.

是以，今天上午，唐納德-特朗普一躍而起，安裝了旗杆。

Let's have a good... they call it a lifting.

讓我們好好......他們稱之為提升。

They also use another word, but I'm not gonna use that word.

他們還用了另一個詞，但我不會用這個詞。

It's a word... a word that starts with an E that he's embarrassed to say publicly.

這是一個詞......一個他不好意思公開說的以 E 開頭的詞。

When it was time to raise old glory, everyone stood in awe as our new, relaxed-fit, plus-size, husky mega-flag sent a clear message to America's enemies, we can get you in a used Hyundai Sonata for zero APR financing today.

當舊的榮耀升起的時候，每個人都肅然起敬，因為我們全新的、寬鬆合體的、大號的、哈士奇式的巨型旗幟向美國的敵人發出了明確的資訊：我們今天就可以讓你以零年利率的融資方式買到一輛二手現代索納塔。

At a certain point, reporters ran out of flag questions, and they switched back to news.

到了一定時候，記者們的旗幟問題問完了，他們又轉回了新聞。

You've been answering questions about, uh, whether you are moving closer, or you believe the U.S. is moving closer to striking Iranian nuclear facilities.

你一直在回答有關你是否正在接近或你認為美國正在接近打擊伊朗核設施的問題。

Well, obviously, I can't say that, right?

You don't know that I'm gonna even do it.

我是說，沒人知道我會做什麼。

No, that's what you get for electing a reality TV guy.

不，這就是選舉真人秀節目主持人的結果。

I'll give you my answer after this message from Sky Rizzi.

我將在收到 Sky Rizzi 的資訊後給你答覆。

Nothing is everything in the post-apocalyptic wasteland.

在末世荒原上，沒有什麼就是一切。

Trump laid out what he wants from the Iranian regime before we're willing to end our war against them that we are not in.

在我們願意結束對伊朗的戰爭之前，特朗普闡述了他對伊朗政權的要求。

Then we go blow up all the, you know, all the nuclear stuff that's all over the place.

然後，我們去炸掉所有的，你知道的，所有的核材料，到處都是。

顯然對複雜的主題有很強的把握能力。

It reminds me... reminds me of Oppenheimer's haunting words at Los Alamos.

這讓我想起......讓我想起奧本海默在洛斯阿拉莫斯縈繞在耳邊的話。

I am become nuclear stuff, destroyer of all over the place.

我變成了核材料，到處都是毀滅者。

But... but big, beautiful, tapered poles with rope inside them aside, Trump does seem to be leaning towards blowing up Iran's nuclear stuff real good.

不過......不過撇開那些又大又漂亮、錐形的杆子，裡面還有繩子不說，特朗普似乎確實傾向於把伊朗的核材料炸個稀巴爛。

Well, first, Iran said death to Israel for about 40 years, and a certain point, Israel believed them.

首先，伊朗對以色列說了大約 40 年的 "去死"，在某一點上，以色列相信了他們。

Then, back in February, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave Trump a presentation in the Oval Office, walking him through images of Iran's nuclear sites.

然後，早在今年 2 月，以色列總理本雅明-內塔尼亞胡就在橢圓形辦公室向特朗普做了介紹，帶他瀏覽了伊朗核場址的圖片。

Then he gave Trump a gift, a gold-plated pager similar to the ones the Israelis had secretly packed with explosives and sold to unwitting Hezbollah operatives.

然後，他送給特朗普一份禮物--一個鍍金傳呼機，類似於以色列人祕密裝上炸藥賣給不知情的真主黨特工的傳呼機。

Apparently, Trump told someone he was disturbed by the gift.

顯然，特朗普告訴別人他對這份禮物感到不安。

哦，哦，酷，寶貝，看，親愛的。

字幕列表影片播放

美麗的大波蘭 | 特朗普想從伊朗得到什麼 | 比比的令人不安的禮物 | MAGA 內戰 (Big Beautiful Poles | What Trump Wants From Iran | Bibi's Disturbing Gift | MAGA Civil War)

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