Name: 夫妻談論金錢的正確方式 | Meredith Moore | TEDxAtlantaWomen (The right way for couples to talk about money | Meredith Moore | TEDxAtlantaWomen)
Uploaded: 2025-05-19T14:05:39.000Z
Duration: 8 min 47 s

動名詞

Transcriber's Name Reviewer's Name Have you ever tried talking to your partner about money?

謄寫者姓名 審閱者姓名 您是否嘗試過與伴侶談論金錢問題？

過去簡單式

to 不定詞

And exactly how many glasses of wine did you need to relax?

你到底需要喝多少杯酒才能放鬆？

At home, we tend to talk more about sports and celebrities than we do money and personal finance.

在家裡，我們談論體育和名人的次數往往多於談論金錢和個人理財的次數。

We tend to avoid it to prevent arguments and feelings of shame and resentment.

我們傾向於迴避它，以避免爭吵、羞愧和怨恨。

At the holidays, we know we're never supposed to talk about sex, politics, or money at the dinner table.

每逢佳節倍思親，我們知道在餐桌上不應該談論性、政治或金錢。

Well, that is unless you're in my family.

Money is one of the leading causes of stress in relationships and one of the top causes of divorce.

金錢是導致人際關係緊張的主要原因之一，也是導致離婚的主要原因之一。

Stress from a breakup creates trickle-down effects in all areas of our lives, impacting our health, our work, and our kids.

失戀帶來的壓力會在我們生活的各個領域產生涓滴效應，影響我們的健康、工作和孩子。

For 23 years, I've worked with couples and their finances at all income levels, and I've had a front-row seat to see how money impacts relationships.

23 年來，我為各種收入水平的夫妻及其財務狀況提供服務，我在前排坐著，親眼目睹了金錢是如何影響夫妻關係的。

In fact, I'll get a call weekly or so from a client that goes something like this, Hey Meredith, I know you're not my therapist, but...

事實上，我每週都會接到客戶的電話，內容大致如下："嘿，梅雷迪思，我知道你不是我的治療師，但是......"。

If you're already talking about money with your partner and it just hasn't been working, you may be doing it incorrectly.

如果你已經在和伴侶談論錢的問題，但一直沒有效果，那可能是你的方法不正確。

There are five things to consider when discussing personal finances with your partner.

在與伴侶討論個人財務問題時，有五件事需要考慮。

Contribution, transparency, values, equality, and vision.

貢獻、透明度、價值觀、平等和願景。

Let me start by introducing you to my friend Nadia and John.

首先，請允許我向你們介紹我的朋友納迪婭和約翰。

Nadia was the main earner in the household, or the breadwinner.

納迪婭是家裡的主要收入來源，或者說是養家餬口的人。

And in 2019, over 25% of married women out-earned their male partners.

而在 2019 年，超過 25% 的已婚女性的收入超過了她們的男性伴侶。

Nadia was paying for a house cleaner and a nanny, but here's the deal.

納迪婭花錢僱了一個家庭清潔工和一個保姆，但情況是這樣的。

She was resentful of the fact that she couldn't spend more of her hard-earned income on herself.

她對自己不能把辛苦賺來的錢花在自己身上感到不滿。

於是，她創建了一個祕密銀行賬戶。

And a point came when she needed to talk to her husband, John, about staying at home with the kids while she worked.

有一次，她需要和丈夫約翰商量一下，讓他在家帶孩子，自己則去工作。

But she was so hesitant to have this conversation because of conventional gender roles.

但由於傳統的性別角色，她對進行這樣的對話非常猶豫。

But we have a choice in how we measure contribution.

但我們可以選擇如何衡量貢獻。

Just because one partner might make more or less than the other, there are some things that an income statement simply cannot measure.

由於一個合夥人的收入可能比另一個合夥人多，也可能比另一個合夥人少，所以有些事情是損益表根本無法衡量的。

For example, how much is it worth to you to have your kids safely picked up from school?

例如，安全接送孩子放學對您來說值多少錢？

And exactly how many loads of laundry are equivalent to an annual bonus?

到底洗多少件衣服才相當於年終獎？

I went to Georgia Tech, and I still haven't figured out the mathematics on that one.

我上的是佐治亞理工學院，但我至今還沒弄明白其中的數學原理。

Nadia didn't need a secret bank account if there had been a more open and honest dialogue with her husband around her need for personal expenses.

如果納迪婭能與丈夫就她的個人開支需求進行更加開誠佈公的對話，她就不需要一個祕密銀行賬戶。

She could have initiated this conversation earlier.

她本可以早點開始這次談話的。

It's so important that both partners have a truly honest conversation about each other's income, expenses, assets, and debts.

伴侶雙方就彼此的收入、支出、資產和債務進行一次真正誠實的對話非常重要。

最理想的是，這樣做時不帶評判。

This allows both partners to share what they make and what they spend without secrets.

這樣，雙方就可以分享自己的收入和支出，而沒有祕密可言。

Without transparency, trust breaks down, and it's difficult to move towards a shared financial future.

沒有透明度，信任就會瓦解，也就很難邁向共同的財務未來。

Next, let me introduce you to Drew and Sophia.

接下來，讓我向你們介紹德魯和索菲亞。

Drew worked all during college, and he paid for school himself, then went on to get an MBA.

德魯在大學期間一直工作，他自己支付學費，然後繼續攻讀工商管理碩士學位。

His wife Sophia had taken on some student loans, and she went to her local community college.

他的妻子索菲亞借了一些助學貸款，上了當地的社區大學。

When it came time for them to send their kids to university, Drew felt it was important that their kids work and help contribute some towards their own tuition.

當他們要送孩子們上大學時，德魯認為讓孩子們工作併為他們自己的學費做些貢獻非常重要。

But Sophia wanted their kids and felt like they should pay for everything for them.

但索菲亞想要他們的孩子，覺得他們應該為孩子們付出一切。

Ultimately, Sophia decided that since Drew had an MBA, he knew better on this kind of thing.

最後，索菲亞決定，既然德魯擁有工商管理碩士學位，他就更瞭解這種事情。

Values typically come into play when we talk about money.

當我們談論金錢時，價值觀通常會發揮作用。

Personal history and our own experience with money greatly influences the things that we do.

個人經歷和我們自己在金錢方面的經驗在很大程度上影響著我們的行為。

Financial value decisions are not only derived from a cost-benefit perspective, but also from an emotional standpoint.

財務價值決策不僅要從成本效益的角度出發，還要從情感的角度出發。

It's critical that decisions like this are discussed early in the relationship so that both partners are aligned.

在戀愛初期就討論這樣的決定是至關重要的，這樣雙方才能保持一致。

Research tells us that the partner with greater income, education, or age tends to hold more financial power in a relationship.

研究告訴我們，在一段關係中，收入、教育或年齡較高的伴侶往往掌握著更多的經濟權力。

But it's important that we create equality for both partners regardless of these factors.

但重要的是，無論這些因素如何，我們都要為伴侶雙方創造平等。

Each partner's voice should be respected and acknowledged regularly.

每個合作伙伴的聲音都應定期得到尊重和認可。

Finally, I want to introduce you to Jordan and Riley.

最後，我要向你們介紹喬丹和萊利。

Jordan has kids and went through a messy divorce.

喬丹有孩子，也經歷過一場混亂的離婚。

She's now in a relationship with Riley, who also has kids.

她現在和萊利在交往，萊利也有孩子。

Things were going well, and they were beginning to discuss marriage.

事情進展順利，他們開始討論結婚的問題。

But they knew before they got married, they needed to have the big money conversation.

但他們知道，在結婚之前，他們需要好好談談錢的問題。

Jordan loves her kids and wants to leave them a financial legacy.

喬丹愛她的孩子們，希望給他們留下一筆財務遺產。

But it was important to Riley that she have financial security or wouldn't run out of money in the event that they got divorced or if Jordan passed away.

但對萊莉來說，最重要的是她要有經濟保障，如果他們離婚或喬丹去世，她不會缺錢。

Although they have different financial goals, they still have a vision of a shared life together.

雖然他們有不同的財務目標，但他們仍有共同生活的願景。

The vision is important because then you and your partner can work backwards to help meet everyone's goals separately.

願景很重要，因為這樣您和您的合作伙伴就可以逆向思維，分別幫助實現每個人的目標。

There are tools and methods for both partners to get what they want together.

有一些工具和方法可以讓伴侶雙方共同獲得他們想要的東西。

What do you both want to plan for in the future?

You can still have a shared vision, but have separate goals.

你們可以有共同的願景，但也可以有各自的目標。

A bigger money vision conversation is critical for everyone's future financial and emotional protection.

對於每個人未來的財務和情感保護來說，更大的金錢觀對話至關重要。

And as uncomfortable as it may be, a shared financial vision is so important in any long-term relationship.

儘管這可能會讓人感到不舒服，但在任何長期關係中，共同的財務願景都是非常重要的。

Contribution, transparency, values, equality, and vision create better dialogues around money.

貢獻、透明度、價值觀、平等和願景能讓我們更好地圍繞金錢展開對話。

And actually talking about money fosters knowledge and experience, which creates a happier relationship and ultimately leads to greater financial success for both partners.

實際上，談論金錢可以增進知識和經驗，從而創造更快樂的關係，並最終為雙方帶來更大的財務成功。

If you're already talking about money with your partner and just aren't making the progress you want, consider setting up a standing monthly meeting for both of you to update your balance sheet, your cash flow statement, review expenses, and consider integrating some of these topics that we've talked about, contribution, transparency, values, equality, and vision, into bigger, broader topics.

如果你已經在與伴侶討論金錢問題，但卻沒有取得你想要的進展，那麼可以考慮每月召開一次固定會議，更新你們的資產負債表、現金流量表，審查支出，並考慮將我們已經談過的一些話題，如貢獻、透明度、價值觀、平等和願景，整合到更大、更廣泛的話題中。

And in case you are wondering, it's perfectly okay to do this meeting with a bottle of wine, too.

如果你想知道的話，也完全可以在開會時喝一瓶酒。