Name: How to know if you're being selfish (and whether or not that's bad) - Mark Hopwood
Uploaded: 2024-02-24T06:42:27.000Z
Duration: 6 min
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you're in the midst of a profound moral conundrum.

Famous philosophers whisper advice in your ear.

Utilitarian John Stuart Mill tells you that one should always strive

to bring about the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people.

Aristotle reminds you of the importance of the virtues of generosity and justice.

"of all voluntary acts, the object is to every man his own good."

In other words, human beings are inherently selfish anyway.

So why shouldn't you take the last cupcake for yourself?

This is actually one of philosophy's oldest questions.

the question of whether or not human beings are inherently selfish.

The idea that humans only act out of self-interest

and there aren't many philosophers who endorse this extreme stance.

There's simply too much evidence of humans sacrificing their self-interest,

and sometimes their very lives, for the sake of others.

And studies by psychologists have shown that even very young children

demonstrate helpful behavior despite there being nothing in it for themselves.

However, the idea that all humans have a deep selfish streak

is something many more philosophers would agree with.

German philosopher Immanuel Kant noted that while we often seem to act

it's impossible to be sure we're not truly motivated

For example, maybe when people make large donations to charity,

they're actually more interested in looking good

or benefiting from tax breaks than helping others.

It's worth noting that not all  philosophers think self-love

French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau identified two kinds of self-love.

He believed "Amour de soi," our basic need for self-preservation,

our toxic desire for recognition and social status,

In a similar vein, Aristotle argued that humans are social beings

who can only flourish when we seek the good of others as well as ourselves.

By this logic, true self-love requires us to work against our selfish tendencies.

For many philosophers, this is where the real problem lies—

Some, like Kant, have argued that our sense of moral duty

is what helps us rise above our narrow self-interest.

contend that emotions like pity and sympathy

are what allow us to consider the needs of others.

But 20th century philosopher-novelist Iris Murdoch

believed the only true solution to human selfishness was love.

For Murdoch, selfishness isn't about trivial things

It's about seeing the world in a way that casts yourself as a star,

and everyone else as secondary characters.

To explain this, Murdoch tells the story of a discontented mother-in-law.

she secretly feels her son made a mistake marrying his "vulgar"

To Murdoch, this mother is the picture of selfishness.

By centering her own jealousy and insecurity,

she's reducing the nuanced reality of her daughter-in-law to a caricature.

Murdoch believes the mother can learn to see her daughter in law as she truly is—

but refreshingly straightforward and delightfully youthful.

the mother should simply don rose-colored glasses.

Love, as Murdoch defines it, is "the extremely difficult realization

that something other than oneself is real."

Murdoch believes we can all reach this realization

Partially inspired by Buddhist meditation,

this practice could include engaging with art, learning foreign languages,

or simply taking the time to observe the natural environment.

What's important for Murdoch is that the behavior

helps direct your attention beyond the self.

Because only by practicing our ability to attend to the world around us

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How to know if you're being selfish (and whether or not that's bad) - Mark Hopwood

conscious

meditation

demonstrate

practice